Someone just called me 'ghetto'...

[Parmina]

I'm mixed race black and Caucasian, have afro hair pulled in to a bun and a head wrap on (pretty much my go to style), small gold hoop earrings and am wearing a black knee length pencil skirt with a plain black hoodie and silver pumps.

Walked by 2 women on the stairs at the train station and heard one clearly direct at me "she's a bit 'ghetto' looking for " and they both laughed and walked off.

I may have got this completely wrong, but before I jump to conclusions, why on earth would they think I looked 'ghetto'?

AIBU to be sensing a racist undertone? Or is that my paranoia kicking in?

Never been called ghetto before...

@whirlygigwhirlygig

My white daughter will call her mixed race brother ghetto and because they are siblings there's no problem.

If anyone called her mixed race brother that and they were white, she'd be absolutely furious with the racist connotation associated with it and probably rip their heads off.

Why is it OK for her to call her mixed race brother 'ghetto?' But no-one else can?

@butterflysugarbaby it's not okay for anyone to refer to anyone as ghetto. It's racist and shouldn't be a casually used term. If my white cousin called me ghetto I would be pissed. It's derogatory.

That is what I thought @Parmina...

I feel the racism has always been there and is just becoming more obvious again. Sad.

I'm white, kids white, but I've tried hard to make sure my kids aren't racist but instead judge people on their character (ie, who is or isn't an arsehole). I think I've managed that. Dd's BF isn't white and he's a sweet lad working hard to secure a good future.

I wish I could do more, but I try to counter racism where I can. People are just people to me. (Although, the hair wrap sounds great, and I'd be the one commenting on the pattern, asking where you got the scarf.)

Actually, some friends of mine in America have said "trailer trash" refers equally to poor white people, it's the poor that's the main insult.

@BrynhildurWhitemane I totally get where you are coming from. I'll probably be told I'm being silly picking this up in your comment but it made me cringe, a little. Like you made a real point of proving that you're not racist...

• I'm white but I'm not racist
• I work hard to made sure my kids aren't racist
• daughter has a non white boyfriend who is working hard to secure a good future (and?)
• I counter racism
• I would be the one commenting on how nice your scarf is

Now tell me if I'm wrong as I may be but these sort of comments I would avoid making, because it's all a little odd and makes it seem like you're doing a really good thing by not being racist and by accepting that your daughter has a non white boyfriend who is working hard (like most non white people do!).

As I said. Maybe just me reading in to your comment wrong.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I agree with pp these people are ignorant, narrow minded idiots so hold your head high. Nasty folk always find something about others to comment on to try and justify their own pathetic existence. Fuck them x

@Parmina I can see your points, and I'm never the best at writing these things. I'll take the criticism and strive to improve.

@BrynhildurWhitemane I really didn't want that to come across as mean or paranoid it's just the way I read in to such comments. There's never a reason to point out that an ethnic minority person is a hard worker unless someone is suggesting otherwise.

I hear you sis, have had this happen to me too - particularly when pregnant (young mixed race girl, pregnant, must be ghetto!) and this was in London.

It happens. Many people don’t realise but it does. Sucks but rise above it - go high. Although I do now have a stock of narky comebacks...

I feel compelled to know where this was?! On the cross city line?! I'm going Four Oaks.
It's gone all up it's own arse since it got a Bistrot Pierre.

Sorry that happened OP.

@Parmina I guess I don't think of the BF as being ethnic, to me he's just X, who is a lovely person.

Why is it OK for her to call her mixed race brother 'ghetto?' But no-one else can?

Presumably her brother is ok with it and will use some choice sibling insults in return. I really think it depends on the closeness, the consent and the context. The same way as the n and b words can be used by the in group as a term of affection but not by the out group. And in this case I'm assuming the sister is close enough to the brother to be considered his in group.

Sorry but I'm also totally cringing at BrynhildurWhitemane post.

It kind of reminded me of a post I read on mumsnet once where someone said 'every immigrant I've met has been lovely'...it's so patronising.

Not nice..a bit like calling someone " chavvy". Lots of snobs in the world.

Yes they are racist. The fact they felt they had the right to comment on your appearance at all shows what twats they are. They used racist language because it makes them feel superior.

Some people at just horrible.

It was extremely rude of them to say that about you. Don't let it get you down, I am sure you looked beautiful! Your outfit sounds lovely. Just shows up their ignorance!

I'm actually from London but at 30 weeks pregnant I contained my inner ninja !! So Parmina you actually KNOW what would have gone off then, I mean literally you only have to look at someone slightly oddly on the tube whilst absentmindedly thinking about what to have for dinner let alone racially abuse them ...!!

Good on you for walking on by.