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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks I’m being pretentious

346 replies

ramalamadingdong1 · 21/08/2018 23:25

This is so ridiculous but DH and I have been having a jokey arguement about this tonight and I think he IBU but I’m prepared to be told different.

I’ve recently bought a shelves for our living room and have started putting book on it. I’m an avid reader and fluentish in another language having studied it at university and lived in the country. I’ve put the English versions of the books I studied on the shelf and love getting them down to read parts of them.

My DH is not a reader and can’t understand this. However, a friend of his was round the other night and commented on the books. I explained I’d studied them at university in their original language and still enjoyed reading them albeit in English.

Tonight my DH laughingly said he thought I sounded pretentious going on about university and keeping these books on display. I only answered a question about them and there were plenty of other books there!

Now I’m wondering if I should just hide my books!

WIBU to display them?

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 23/08/2018 20:34

The bookshelves in our house are 99.9% mine. I own well over 1500 books.

Tell your 'D'H to fuck off.

thegreylady · 23/08/2018 20:38

I have packed bookcases in every room in the house and the hall is completely shelved. For us a house is not a home without books.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 23/08/2018 20:43

Never hide your books. I waited a number of years to have space for a bookcase and I live it. I've been showing it off to anyone who comes round as it serves as my library. Most of the books I've not read and they've been hidden away in cupboards and boxes and now they have pride of place.

Non readers will never quite understand.

Flashinggreen · 23/08/2018 20:55

YANBU

downbutnotout2018 · 23/08/2018 20:59

Oh dear - another man putting a woman down for her intelligence. He feels threatened. He's a twat.

JacquesHammer · 23/08/2018 21:09

Agree - I was given a kindle as a gift, and hate the very electricity it consumed

I felt utterly the same until I acknowledged that I no longer had to pack 14 actual books for a fortnight’s holiday Grin

Mix56 · 23/08/2018 21:13

Dick, he is of inferior intelligence, his "go to" strategy; knock her down.
This behaviour will wear thin.

XingMing · 23/08/2018 21:18

I have a few thousand books (uncounted TBH). They occupy shelves built to house trophy beer mugs all around a room that is 30 x 18, where they are prettier than beer mugs, plus more in our study and the odd one in the kitchen and bedroom which are being read (there's a smallish pile). Pretentious? No, just another book worm.

Orangecake123 · 23/08/2018 21:20

When I was growing up all I wanted was my own bookshelf! Bookshelves are supposed to have books on them.

XingMing · 23/08/2018 21:20

And I have a Kindle too.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/08/2018 21:24

And I have a Kindle too.

None of us is perfect. Grin

Ketayuzu · 23/08/2018 21:26

Every house we move to I have to build more bookshelves. I've got a couple of boxes left of books that won't fit on these new shelves so I'm going to have to build some more somewhere else.
I love my books. I love the way they look, the way they make the room feel, the way they smell, holding them in my hand, taking time to scan them to choose one to read. Thats before even reading them. I really love reading.
It never occurred to me that it was pretentious to have them on display... I'm worried now that visitors think that. I've got 4 full length bookshelves in my front room... Blush
I did have a clearout when i realised there were a few that i thought i should read but never would. But I also have some in other languages. Some I'm fluent in, and some I'd like to not loose all ability in cos I don't use them anymore.
God i love books...

Ketayuzu · 23/08/2018 21:27

And i have a kindle too for holidays when i don't want a heavy suitcase!

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 21:27

I am a prolific reader but I try to get rid of books after I have read them because I don't need to keep them. But still our house is full of books. I can see what your dh is getting at a bit.

Tinkobell · 23/08/2018 21:40

If you hide the books you are making a conscious decision to deny a part of who and what you are - an educated, proud woman. Your choice if you want to be a doormat to an insecure bloke and do that! He clearly feels threatened by a smart female.

Tinkobell · 23/08/2018 21:42

Perhaps you ARE a little prententious, to me, he sounds like a total oik!

Flaskfan · 23/08/2018 21:45

To be fair, if I didn't have a kindle, the book hoardi g would probably become a little...problematic.

joanne2020 · 23/08/2018 21:46

No you’re not being pretentious
I’ve been with my husband for 40 years I think he only mentioned in a negative way my book habit once in the early stages of our relationship and then quickly realised it was a case of ‘love me love my book😂’

joanne2020 · 23/08/2018 21:47

Anyway I think he he likes about me
(He doesn’t read at all )

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 21:49

I'm sorry but it is a wee bit pretentious

XingMing · 23/08/2018 21:53

Close to retirement and a house downsize, I worry about what I shall do with my books. There are a fair few, and I like seeing them around.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/08/2018 21:56

People who think it’s pretentious either can’t relate to the genuine love of books, or feel envy/insecurity.

starbrightlight · 23/08/2018 21:57

Short of space I few years ago I threw out lots of books written in their original languages, most of which I had inherited. I regret it now. Not because I want to read them but they did add a little something to my bookshelves.

I kept the ones actually written by my relative, even the ones translated into languages I will never understand. They really add a little something and make me proud. It's a lonesome pride though because my married name is different to the author's name so nobody would every guess that all those old books lined up on my shelves have any connection to me whatsoever.

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 22:01

I love books but dont feel the need to showcase my superior intellect Wink

Justanotherlurker · 23/08/2018 22:02

People who think it’s pretentious either can’t relate to the genuine love of books, or feel envy/insecurity.

This is pretntious!

It's funny because the only person who thinks my floor to ceiling shelves of vynil music is someone who comes out with this exact statement regarding her books