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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH thinks I’m being pretentious

346 replies

ramalamadingdong1 · 21/08/2018 23:25

This is so ridiculous but DH and I have been having a jokey arguement about this tonight and I think he IBU but I’m prepared to be told different.

I’ve recently bought a shelves for our living room and have started putting book on it. I’m an avid reader and fluentish in another language having studied it at university and lived in the country. I’ve put the English versions of the books I studied on the shelf and love getting them down to read parts of them.

My DH is not a reader and can’t understand this. However, a friend of his was round the other night and commented on the books. I explained I’d studied them at university in their original language and still enjoyed reading them albeit in English.

Tonight my DH laughingly said he thought I sounded pretentious going on about university and keeping these books on display. I only answered a question about them and there were plenty of other books there!

Now I’m wondering if I should just hide my books!

WIBU to display them?

OP posts:
Dorigen · 23/08/2018 17:49

What a weird idea that your DH thinks that having books on shelves is having them "on display". Where does he think you're supposed to put them?

We have about 6,000 (sic) of the buggers. They are all "on display", in every single room of the house, including on the stairs, with overspill in friends' houses. You can't move for book piles. I wonder what your DH would think of that.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/08/2018 17:51

Your DH is insecure and envious. His comment is undermining.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 23/08/2018 17:52

It’s called a ‘bookshelf’ for a reason.

YA definitely NBU

Sennendream · 23/08/2018 17:55

Yanbu your dh is.

Can I ask a really stupid question without everyone piling in on me?

I've always wondered about houses with lots of books on display, do you actually read them over again or are they just kept because you love them?

As a reader of probably not very intellectual fiction my books tend to go back to the library or the charity shop, I've pondered keeping them but they take up precious space.

Dorigen · 23/08/2018 17:58

It's pure love in my case, Sennen. Plus there are lots of very old/beautiful books, First Editions etc among our mountain. I do occasionally take a load (mostly contemporary fiction, which I'm not likely to re-read, and which the older DC don't want) to the charity shop, but it doesn't seem to make much difference to the overall mountain. And we have absolutely zero space. My DM has things to say about this.

Fraying · 23/08/2018 18:03

I have met people who think it's odd to have bookshelves in your living room. They think they should be in a study/library/bedroom ie a private room rather than a public one.

As for being pretentious, I think that depends on your manner and motivation. Having bookcases in the living room isn't automatically pretentious but I would find it a little odd that you felt the need to say you'd read the originals in another language at university. Unless you've only recently finished university, I wouldn't see it as relevant.

user1494050295 · 23/08/2018 18:04

I have many of my uni books on our shelves and my partner has a book on physics next to his side of the bed. And yes he does read it. Never thought more of it.

Littlechocola · 23/08/2018 18:06

I love my book shelves. They have a big mix of genres. Arts, fiction, text books etc.

I might be pretentious though as I have a ‘book room’ dedicated to my book shelves. I do refuse to call it ‘the library’ Grin

Dh doesn't read Shock

bengalcat · 23/08/2018 18:07

He's a dick - books are not pretentious . I've got all sorts academia , Jilly cooper and yes 50 shades amongst other better written alternative sex books etc

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 23/08/2018 18:09

Personally I think a house without books is a bit scary...

byairmail · 23/08/2018 18:10

I love books as part of the furniture.

cheval · 23/08/2018 18:11

Marrying a man who doesn’t read is where I went wrong.....

Shambu · 23/08/2018 18:11

My books aren't in 'display' it's never even occurred to me. I have books everywhere.

I have the books that I have read and may read again or may need to refer to. I have the books I've read that I will probably never read again but I still want a copy of. And I have books I haven't read yet. Then I have some really old books (18th, 19th century) that I won't read - those copies anyway- but I keep because I love old books.

N0bodysM0t · 23/08/2018 18:12

I've read books in Spanish and kept them because it took more effort to read them. I also keep books that helped raise my self-esteem and there'd be nothing showy offy about those books. But they document a journey. Or something. I treasure the wisdom I took from those books

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 23/08/2018 18:16

I've always wondered about houses with lots of books on display, do you actually read them over again or are they just kept because you love them?

I work with book and love it so I get (and buy) loads. Very, very rarely get rid of any, I use them for reference all the time. The house is slowly sinking so perhaps I should ...
I also like digital books, there's a time and place for them, never thought I'd say that.

YeTalkShiteHen · 23/08/2018 18:23

I read books over and over. I’ve got a kindle but it’s not the same. You can’t beat the smell of a much loved, often read book.

Yes I know I’m weird Grin

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/08/2018 18:25

Women should always hide their education and opinions at all costs, or risk being thought pretentious. How very dare you!

missbloomsbury · 23/08/2018 18:30

I do have a library actually. Taylor made bookshelves veneered in walnut. (Now that’s pretentious!) It not only houses books but other items of our family life together - modern mementos like a catalogue from P Diana’s Dress Auction, an original Harry Potter script & an ancient bronze pot from Bali. All my children’s Biggles books and Winnie the Pooh are also there. It’s colourful and enticing. I pass through it every day & it’s like a map to remind me of the great times we’ve all had.

JacquesHammer · 23/08/2018 18:34

I've always wondered about houses with lots of books on display, do you actually read them over again or are they just kept because you love them?

Both Smile

Some books I read over and over again. Some are just so lovely or special that I keep them. More “transient” books I take to charity shops.

ToftyAC · 23/08/2018 18:36

Bloody hell, I once turned a useless space in the house into a whole library with floor to ceiling books! YANBU

Pilgit · 23/08/2018 18:49

We have books everywhere in our house. We're actually converting a room into a library as we have so many. People often come into our house and question whether we've read them all. Between us we have but people just won't believe it! It saves on having to decorate as Well- bookshelves as wallpaper!

AmyRhodes · 23/08/2018 18:52

I think a busy bookshelf looks great and I'm always interested to look at other people's bookshelves when I visit. 😊

sueelleker · 23/08/2018 18:53

I read loads of library books, but the ones I keep are by my favourite authors. I think I have everything Nora Roberts has written, and most of Mercedes Lackey's. I re-read them frequently.

RoadToRivendell · 23/08/2018 19:03

I've always wondered about houses with lots of books on display, do you actually read them over again or are they just kept because you love them?

I do re-read much-loved books after say, ten years. Better still, my children (12 and almost 16) pretty often will ask for a suggestion, for example my eldest just picked up 4321 and has been reading it pretty voraciously since (that's a bloody amazing book). I wouldn't want to leave their unpredictable, screen-retarded reading appetites to chance.

My husband has an enormous, bizarre collection of first-edition books on mysticism and esoterica which he tells me is worth a lot of money- he's slowly making his way through them, he's read perhaps a quarter. They're very beautiful and insulate the walls very nicely.

AL75 · 23/08/2018 19:05

Do you have children yet? If you haven't, is this the influence you want to have on your children? He won't want them to be educated.