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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think about letting DD (year 5) walk to school alone?

45 replies

SparklyUnicornPoo · 21/08/2018 16:21

DH has been offered a job and we are trying to work out how to sort childcare.

I work in a school, so my hours largely fit round DD anyway, the only problem is I start work the same time as her school gates open and leave at the same time as she does.

My school and DD's school are approx 1 mile apart, along a straight road with a wide pavement, the bus stop I get on/off at is approx half way between the two, I would walk her across the road before leaving and tell her to wait there on the way back, she would have to cross one road without me but there is a lollipop lady, there are 5 schools on the road and a college so there would be loads of people around at school run times.

She is the older end of the year so will have just turned 10 when we go back to school. She is very sensible and independent and I would get her a mobile phone and ask her to text when she arrives at school/leaves school and make sure she knows she can call me if there is an issue. She would be alone for around 10 minutes each journey.

WIBU to ask her to walk from the bus stop to school by herself and then from school to the bus stop to meet me?

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 21/08/2018 16:24

At DS school the expectation is that they'll walk themselves to/from school from year four onwards (first school) and certainly from year five when they start middle school, parents aren't allowed into the yard at the middle school and the majority have other children to take to nursery/first school anyway.

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 16:28

Misread your post and thought she was five years old! YANBU, are there other children she could walk with? When I was that age I walked to school only five minutes round the corner, but everyone would knock for everyone else on the way, the person who loved farthest would knock for the next and so on, so by the time we got there, we were a gaggle rather than just individuals

Sirzy · 21/08/2018 16:30

In year 5, especially with crossing patrol I wouldn’t have any issues with it!

Caroelle · 21/08/2018 16:33

No you are probably not being BU if you know your child to be sensible in terms of crossing roads, stranger danger etc. How does she feel about this?

Original poster
SparklyUnicornPoo · 21/08/2018 16:44

There aren't any other children that walk (small private school, most come from the little villages just outside of town).

She's fine with the idea, she's been asking to go into town by herself (which she isn't doing yet) so she's quite keen to prove how grown up and sensible she is.

OP posts:
RavenLG · 21/08/2018 16:45

I used to walk to school / home from school alone around that age. My nan used to look after me pre/post school depending on my parents shift working, but sadly she passed away and I due to their working hours (and barely scraping money together as it was!) there was no other choice. It was less than half a mile and along one road (that I had to cross too).

pointythings · 21/08/2018 16:50

My DDs walked to school independently from that age (DD1 was 12, DD2 was 10, different schools but not far apart) and it was fine. They walked back too, and would be by themselves for about 45 minutes until DH got home from work.

I walked to school independently with my Dsis from much younger, but that was yonks ago...

TheDarkPassenger · 21/08/2018 16:52

Mines been walking since start of year 5 but has been walking home on occasion from end of year 4. He’s going into year 6 and is 10 5 days before school starts, it’s actively encouraged in our school and most children walk. He’s defintley matured a lot since he started walking (not saying he’s mature though hahaha)

RedSkyLastNight · 21/08/2018 17:01

DC round here all manage mch more complicated and longer walks home from the start of Y5, so I'm struggling to see how you would BU.

That said if your DC is not used to being out on her own maybe use the rest of the holiday to practice walking to the corner shop,friend's house etc and go through "what ifs". The main one that springs to mind is bus being late or stuck on the journey. Does she wait? How long for? Will she have a key so she can go all the way home?

JoanFrenulum · 21/08/2018 17:11

Goodness me. She'll be fine.

MyDcAreMarvel · 21/08/2018 17:17

Assumed your dd must have special needs before reading as it’s an strange question. Majority of year threes walk to and from school.

Dljlr · 21/08/2018 17:19

I'm considering DS walking himself to school and he's going into year 3. Would be across 2 roads, 1 with lollipop lady, and take around 6 or 7 minutes. He'll certainly be doing it in Y5, so I'd say go for it.

FlorencesHunger · 21/08/2018 17:23

My dd school allows children to walk home from school from year 4. I won't be letting my dc who's in p4 do it for another year or two and that's dependant on her development. She has sn though.

If your dc is sensible and you put the right mesures in place then I don't see the issue.
Be certain to stress that she uses only road crossings and no short cuts/alternative routes.
Watched a year 4 child almost get run over as he didn't use lollipop man provided a little down the road. He misjudged the traffic, didn't look properly and made a dash accross the road he was almost on the bonnet of a car.

BarbedBloom · 21/08/2018 17:52

I also misread and thought she was five. This sounds fine to me. I walked to school alone from about 8 and most of the children around here seem to do it from a similar age. She will have a phone too in case there are any issues.

FlipnTwist · 21/08/2018 18:03

You've one wrong somewhere if a 10 year old cannot walk themselves half a mile to and from school expecially as there are no roads to cross

FlipnTwist · 21/08/2018 18:05

gone wrong

In our village school it is Y3

Canuckduck · 21/08/2018 18:07

Of course it’s fine.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 21/08/2018 18:15

Wow - I can’t believe most people are saying Y3 is old enough!

I think 10 is the perfect age to start doing a walk like the one you describe. My DD is 10 and has just started walking home in the summer term.

zozozoo · 21/08/2018 18:28

Sounds fine to me and that you have considered/ will consider everything.
My children walk to and from school alone at a similar age and SS were not concerned.
Just ensure you review and discuss the situation periodically as issues can crop up that a child may think are 'nothing'.

Namelesswonder · 21/08/2018 18:40

Perfectly fine! My 10 year old walks herself and has 4 busy T junctions to cross and 1 pedestrian crossing and 1 lollipop person crossing. Needs must.

Original poster
SparklyUnicornPoo · 22/08/2018 13:59

The main one that springs to mind is bus being late or stuck on the journey.
I get the same bus for work, they are regularly late, but I'd be meeting her at the bus stop anyway so we'd be waiting together. Good idea on the practice though.

Majority of year threes walk to and from school. Not here they don't, I know my school's rule is year 5, with a letter from parents telling us that's the plan, I don't know what the rule at DD's school is, I need to check that.

I'm glad everyone has said its ok, I thought it probably was but as I've never seen anyone else walking to her school alone I was starting to doubt myself and wanted to check I wouldn't be massively judged before I talk to her school about it.

OP posts:
lola212121 · 22/08/2018 14:00

We live 5 mins away from school and my child was in year 3 when he started going to and from school alone

AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/08/2018 14:07

Do some dry runs before the school starts. Make sure she is drilled with the green cross code (even my 14 year old forgets to look) and knows where to cross, not to risk crossing in a hurry it is she is running late or impatient, and if she has a phone tell her that she can't look at the screen on her journey. High Viz coat/banda or bag tags in the winter.

I'm sure she will be absolutely fine (I was wandering to school by me self when I was 3 - all of a 5 minute walk!) but but but a boy in DSs class was killed (he would have been the same age) when a bus rushed to make a turn and hurtled through a gap in oncoming traffic and knocked him over on a quiet side street.

foxtiger · 22/08/2018 14:35

This sounds absolutely fine to me, the only thing I don't agree with is making her text you when she gets there. You will hear soon enough if she doesn't!

Delatron · 22/08/2018 14:56

It’s really dependant on the child and the route so all the ‘I walked to school at the age of 4’ posts aren’t helpful. Roads were less busy 30 years ago too.

All children are different. You know how sensible your child is. I think here (busy town) yr5 is when they are allowed. We have lots of busy roads with parked cars where the cars come flying down. I find it hard to cross so my daydreamy yr 5 boy won’t be doing it full stop.