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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think about letting DD (year 5) walk to school alone?

45 replies

SparklyUnicornPoo · 21/08/2018 16:21

DH has been offered a job and we are trying to work out how to sort childcare.

I work in a school, so my hours largely fit round DD anyway, the only problem is I start work the same time as her school gates open and leave at the same time as she does.

My school and DD's school are approx 1 mile apart, along a straight road with a wide pavement, the bus stop I get on/off at is approx half way between the two, I would walk her across the road before leaving and tell her to wait there on the way back, she would have to cross one road without me but there is a lollipop lady, there are 5 schools on the road and a college so there would be loads of people around at school run times.

She is the older end of the year so will have just turned 10 when we go back to school. She is very sensible and independent and I would get her a mobile phone and ask her to text when she arrives at school/leaves school and make sure she knows she can call me if there is an issue. She would be alone for around 10 minutes each journey.

WIBU to ask her to walk from the bus stop to school by herself and then from school to the bus stop to meet me?

OP posts:

Queenofthestress · 22/08/2018 15:02

I'm 23, so 13 years ago I was doing a much more complicated walk than that, we had to cross 8 roads just to get to the corner shop, there was about 25 in total to cross.

As long as she is sensible, has good road sense, won't dawdle, she'll be fine!

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 22/08/2018 19:07

My year 5 (still 9 as they are the baby of the year) has been walking to and from school(2 miles) for the last 3months. She loves it, I worry 😁 but it's important for her to be independent.

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 22/08/2018 19:10

PS our school also say year 5. They are not supposed to leave the playground without a parent before this.

redcaryellowcar · 22/08/2018 19:21

I don't junk it's unreasonable to ask her to walk,but I do think she should walk with someone. Anyone walking alone is vulnerable.

midgesforever · 22/08/2018 19:25

I missread at first and thought FIVE, far too young! You know your DC and this doesn't seem a bad age to start this level of independence.

Original poster

SparklyUnicornPoo · 22/08/2018 21:29

I do think she should walk with someone.
I would rather she walked with someone but as far as I know no one else walks.

OP posts:

Derpy84 · 27/08/2018 21:24

My son started walking to school my himself in year 5 with no issues. he now catches 2 buses to school everyday by himself and still with no issues.I think if you trust them and have made them aware of all the 'stranger danger' issues then it's fine :)

arethereanyleftatall · 27/08/2018 21:32

At our school, in year 5 they're all expected to walk themselves to school and back. A few mums still hang around, but the school actively discourage that.
I won't be getting dd a mobile phone, I don't think the other parents will either.

QueenofStella · 27/08/2018 21:34

As long as she’s happy to do it I would say it’s fine. Sets her up nicely for a little independence and then, in a couple of years, travelling to and from secondary school won’t be such a shock. I would imagine she’s delighted that you trust her enough to let her!

hibbledibble · 27/08/2018 21:41

I'm surprised at year 3s walking to school alone. Where is this? I can't imagine it ever happening around here (London).

Op yanbu, if you are confident your dd can manage. Another option would be to walk her to the school playground, and leave her there early, and then walk to your work.

Sandstormbrewing · 27/08/2018 21:51

I also misread the title and thought you were nuts. But now I see she is 10 I think your plan is fine, so long as she is ok with it and you do a practice run.

EvaHarknessRose · 27/08/2018 21:53

It sounds ok. Do practice and make her confident rather than anxious, however two other issues I have found 1) every year or so we have a spate of reports of a car or van or taxi driver repeatedly approaching children walking to school and trying to get them to get in 2) dd could not work out how to negotiate the road when the pavement was being dug up! She turned back 🤣 she does not like to look silly though. Suggest she watches what others do first in this scenario, or reads the signs.

stayathomer · 27/08/2018 22:01

I think deep down you know yourself whether she is able or not. My kids are awful crossing roads but I know plenty the same age that are as good if not better than adults. And she has the phone. If you trust the area etc and she's okay about it then go for it!!

emelsie · 27/08/2018 22:03

Year 5 is the earliest they can walk home from my DD school before this they have to have a parent picking them up from the door, my dd is going into year 5 but I won't be letting her , it's a bit too far and the roads round here are bad , too many cars for the town ,cars parked up in every possible space , horrible roads to cross. I may park up somewhere closer though and let her start walking from there , maybe gradually further every few months ,to be honest though when I'm picking her up from school there is only a handful I ever see leaving without a parent all the way up until year 6. The walk to the local high school is much closer and easier though.

Candyflip · 27/08/2018 22:06

10! She’s 10, why on earth are you discussing crossing roads? Surely she can do that? I also originally read it as she was 5, which is why I thought you were mentioning roads, but 10? Wow.

CMOTDibbler · 27/08/2018 22:06

DS has walked to and from school by himself since YR 5, and apart from children with SN, all the kids do.

stayathomer · 28/08/2018 11:54

10! She’s 10, why on earth are you discussing crossing roads? Surely she can do that? I also originally read it as she was 5, which is why I thought you were mentioning roads, but 10? Wow.

We were at a talk from the road safety authority (Ireland) and they said over studies over fifteen years on a range of children and teenagers they say that kids under 13 don't have the common sense or reflexes to cross larger roads. (Everyone in the room started questioning him on it;) He said in over seventy percent of cases when under 13s were faced with a problem at a road they reacted incorrectly ie stop when they shouldn't have or ran on when they shouldn't or slowed down or sped up incorrectly. He even argued with parents over it because they they all said their children were well able. He said hopefully they were but just to hear it in mind. I can't I remember it now and actually now see it everywhere I go!

FlipnTwist · 31/08/2018 09:46

what bullshit! Kids have much faster reflexes than an adult as anyone who ever games with their children knows.

EwItsAHooman · 31/08/2018 10:07

Reflexes are one thing but children can't accurately assess speed or distance so without correct use of a pedestrian crossing (or access to one in the first place) may not be able to judge when it's safe to cross, especially on busier roads.

Freshstart19 · 31/08/2018 10:11

Absolutely fine. My 10 year old will be starting this year. I have to walk the others for school. But he will be getting 10 mins head start.

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