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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my 13 month old into nursery?

47 replies

Bazoo23 · 21/08/2018 16:20

I'm starting uni in September, its an evening course 2 nights per week. However it is a full time degree so the expectation is a lot of work to be completed at home.
While filling in enrollment paperwork my tutor gave me a childcare grant form. I hadn't thought about childcare with it being an evening course but she said she strongly recommends a day a week child free to concentrate on my work.
But I'm really struggling with the thought if putting my baby into nursery so young! I know the nursery, my daughter went there for almost three years and its a lovely place but 13 months just seems so little.
What would you do?

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 21/08/2018 16:22

I'd absolutely do it. Nursery can be extremely beneficial to children, and child free study time will make a huge difference to your future life.

DrWhy · 21/08/2018 16:23

Mine started full time at less than 10 months he is nearly 2 now and after a couple of weeks settling in he has really enjoyed it. He now charges in without so much as a backwards glance! It’s one day a week, it will be fine!

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 16:24

Do it, it's one day a week so you can study, not so you can have a spa day

TheresSomebodyAtTheDoooorrr · 21/08/2018 16:27

It's one day a week Smile ! And you're doing it for the right reasons, to secure a better future for both of you.

I'd say try it. Go and see loads. Give LO a chance to settle, if they hate it and you hate it, you can revaluate.

My 9 month old DS will be going for two days a week for similar reasons. I think it will be fab for him socially,

pointythings · 21/08/2018 16:28

Mine started 5 days a week at 6 months - I had to work.

They were fine. 1 day a week is really no biggie.

SleepWarrior · 21/08/2018 16:30

I'd do what you feel is right for your child and your circumstances and try not to be persuaded by what anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't do.

That sounds really fluffy I know, but honestly people can be so polarized when it comes to how to parent and it never ends. Stand firm on your decisions from now! If you feel your baby is too little for nursery, that's OK! Others have put theirs in nursery and that's OK too. If you WANT to and feel it's a good fit for you child then go for it, but don't have your arm twisted.

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 21/08/2018 16:31

Dd went full time from 7.5 months. Won't lie the first few months were hard and there was crying when I left (from both her and me haha!) She's 2.5 now and barely even notices when I leave. At the weekends all she talks about is her nursery friends and how she wants to go back to there!

BE18mum · 21/08/2018 16:33

My DD will be doing three days at nine months old when I return to work and I know a lot of people who only managed nine months mat leave so it’s pretty common. Your LO will get to socialise and play all day, you’ll get your work done in peace and you’re not having to foot the bill for childcare - and if it’s a nursery you already know well, even better :)

SparkyBlue · 21/08/2018 16:39

I put my daughter into full time crèche when she was almost 10 months old. You do whatever is right for you and best of luck with your studying

FromNowOn · 21/08/2018 16:42

Mine went two days a week at 10 months old because I had to work. Plenty of people do it.

I would do it, and if you know the nursery already even better.

cestlavielife · 21/08/2018 16:43

Put child in nursery or organize other childcare. It won't harm.at all mine were in childcare from.4 or 5 months
Your tutor is right you need blocks of child free time to study.
You will short change your dd and you if you try to study while dd is toddling around. So arrange someone to.take care of her. Nursery or childminder or other. Take advantage of the childcare voucher!

kaytee87 · 21/08/2018 16:45

2 half days may be better for settling than one full day with the added benefit that the baby might also have a nap when they get home from nursery.

FromNowOn · 21/08/2018 16:52

Think about the long term benefits to your DC by doing this degree (and having the time to do it). If in the long run it benefits everyone and you get a good degree then of course you should use nursery.

You don’t have to justify using nursery regardless of why.

user1471426142 · 21/08/2018 16:53

13 months is fine. I think mine was 13 months and I felt she was ready for the extra stimulation and was a confident walker so could make the most of the environment. But, one day a week might be tricky for settling in. I think my nursery would have recommended two half days instead if you had a choice. Obviously lots of people don’t but you might feel better about leaving her if you have a nice chunk of the day together as well as nursery. Also means that you have a bit of flexibility.

user1471426142 · 21/08/2018 16:55

Also just to add, I’ve tried to do work around my toddler on my non-working days and it has only been possible by getting up at 5 before she’s up or getting a chunk done while she sleeps. If I’m on the computer and she’s awake she wants to join in or gets sad that I’m not playing. It just isn’t possible to get anything done properly and it isn’t fair to her to try really. I have learnt that the hard way though!

Duskqueen · 21/08/2018 17:01

My DD started Nursery at 12 months, ine day a week, she really benefited from it. I don't think it is too young at all.

kaytee87 · 21/08/2018 17:03

Just to add, my ds started nursery 2 half days at 12 months and loved it. Around 18mo he moved to 1 day a week purely because he dropped down to one nap a day and it fitted better logistically.

Lucked · 21/08/2018 17:05

Nothing unreasonable about it at all.

Freshprincess · 21/08/2018 18:14

I don’t think it’s too young at all.

Realistically you’re not going to get any work done when she’s awake, so you’ll cramming it in during nap times. Your tutor has no doubt seen this happen before.

Studying with DCs is hard, Give yourself the best chance.

Cornettoninja · 21/08/2018 18:17

I think you’d be daft not to try. That time would be undoubtedly useful and if it doesn’t work out then you can revert to your original plan till she’s a bit older.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

PotteringAlong · 21/08/2018 18:21

It’s a lot older than lots of children go to nursery. I’d do 2 days though; I think it would take a long time to settle for 1 day a week.

Nothisispatrick · 21/08/2018 18:21

Of course you would not be U to put him in nursery. I would do it for more than one day though, one day a week isn’t really the ideal set up for such young children, they need more consistent than that.

Original poster
Bazoo23 · 21/08/2018 20:46

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, I've got a visit set up for next week just to take him for a quick look around and play. With it being school holidays my daughters coming too and is very excited to get to go to her old nursery for a visit and show her brother around Smile
My daughter started nursery at 20 months but I didnt really have a choice then as I was working.
I will speak to them about maybe doing 2 half days until he has settled.

OP posts:
Prometheus · 21/08/2018 20:49

Dear me! Maternity leave in many European countries is only 4 -5 months so babies go into crèche full time at that age. No-one blinks an eye!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/08/2018 20:52

Does he sleep in the day? I’d be pissed off paying for a half day in nursery if he was mostly asleep.

Your baby isn’t too young for nursery. Suggesting he is is a bit of an insult to the parents who choose nursery for younger babies. You need time to study if you’re going to do this course.

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