Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To put my 13 month old into nursery?

47 replies

Bazoo23 · 21/08/2018 16:20

I'm starting uni in September, its an evening course 2 nights per week. However it is a full time degree so the expectation is a lot of work to be completed at home.
While filling in enrollment paperwork my tutor gave me a childcare grant form. I hadn't thought about childcare with it being an evening course but she said she strongly recommends a day a week child free to concentrate on my work.
But I'm really struggling with the thought if putting my baby into nursery so young! I know the nursery, my daughter went there for almost three years and its a lovely place but 13 months just seems so little.
What would you do?

OP posts:

MISHGS · 21/08/2018 21:11

I say go for it. I do some of my work from home & knowing I have 2 child free days a week to fully focus is a god send! You will feel reassured once your baby is happy and settled and then you will be able to give your studies your full attention & be ready for them once home from Nursery. It's only 1 day a week and you'll have 6 days to spend quality time with them. Good luck 🍀xx

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 21/08/2018 21:17

Given that in the UK we can take up to a year of maternity/parental leave, surely you must realise that thousands of parents therefore put their babies into nurseries at circa 12 months of age?

It's not too young, imo.

littleducks · 21/08/2018 21:22

I think two half days would be better as one day a week can be too long a gap between going. Otherwise a great option and as he will be entolled you may be able to arrange extra sessions for medical appointments and things in future that will make life much easier for you.

littleducks · 21/08/2018 21:24

I did an access course as an evening class and recall righting an essay with kids running around the sofa in circles in a chasing game. When I started my degree I had childcare

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 21/08/2018 21:31

A year old or "13 months" isnt so young at all. If I'm lucky enough to have a second my mat leave will be much shorter than that as I'm the main earner. I won't feel guilty for working hard to provide for my family and sending my child somewhere specifically designed for children. Most men wouldn't think twice about working/childcare.

MarchingOrders · 21/08/2018 21:32

Socialisation is so nice for babies! I put my DD into a childminder at around that age and she LOVES it. She's made so many friends and is so so happy, I'd be a little sad if I was her only friend tbh.

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 21/08/2018 21:55

I dont know why certaib people are getting uppity. Everyone is different and yes some people have to put their babies in nursery from a younger age. I personally haven't had to, being unsure whether or not I and my baby are ready doesn't mean I'm judging them!

OP posts:

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 21/08/2018 22:06

And wateroff yes I could have just said my one year old but there's a world of difference between 13 and 23 months so makes sense to specify wouldn't you agree?
I also have never felt guilty about working to provide , my worry this time is whether its really necessary putting him into nursery when I'm going to be at home. Being at work as I was when my daughter used nursery is different as I had no choice.

OP posts:

CripsSandwiches · 21/08/2018 22:20

Just one day a week? I'd do it! If you're not comfortable with a nursery could you find a childminder? Either way I think it's worth it!

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 22/08/2018 00:16

No I wouldn't! 23 months I'd say 2! And 1.5 for inbetween. If you're serious about studying you need to treat it as real work in order to do well unless you're naturally gifted.

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 22/08/2018 06:13

23 months isn't 2 though? Its generally expected within the child health profession (where I currently work) to use months until aged two.

And thanks for your patronising response, believe it or not its not my first time studying, I am educated and have also worked for the last ten years since leaving school.

Thank you to everyone else for your useful advice!

OP posts:

SuperMumTum · 22/08/2018 07:05

Baby might find it hard to settle just for one day a week. Mine would go three days in a row at that age and would always find the first day back after the 4 day break hard.
But you deffo need childcare to do a ft degree. Toddlers don't sit and play quietly while you write essays. Good luck.

riddles26 · 22/08/2018 08:02

Completely normal and acceptable, plus you're only looking at one day each week so majority of the time will still be at home with you. Ignore the funny comments; we all have our preferences on how we want to use childcare and I also preferred to have mine with me more at that age. Some of my closes friends use nursery full time and no judgement towards them or anyone else who makes their choice - they do what works best for their family and career; I do what I feel is best for mine.

I agree with pp that it will be difficult to settle for just one day - mine went to a childminder for 2 full mornings from the same age but we put her in 4 shorter mornings each week to settle her then cut back to 2 full mornings once we knew she was settled and happy.

LyndorCake · 22/08/2018 08:38

I find these sorts of posts so offensive. I know that's my issue but I really do. Some of us didn't have a choice and had to put our babies into nursery straight after mat leave. I went back to work full time when DS was 8 months old. He hasn't missed out and I loathe the idea that people feel sorry for him. It genuinely fills me with rage. He does not need pitty or sympathy. He had two fantastic role models who work very hard in their careers but also work even harder in their family life.

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 22/08/2018 09:23

Go be offended elsewhere then. If you're happy in your childcare choices that's great. Not my issue if you're not.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 22/08/2018 09:25

I also work as a Newborn Hearing Screener and my partner works 50 hour weeks. I'm going to uni to qualify as a primary school teacher. My children have fantastic role models thank you.

OP posts:

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 22/08/2018 16:38

Wtf? I was just giving my advice, if you've studied you'll know it will be difficult with a baby to look after too. I'd do two half days but you'll probably just say I'm being patronising!

Pittcuecothecookbook · 22/08/2018 16:43

Of course it's fine.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/08/2018 16:46

I think 2 days rather than 1 to give yourself a chance of doing well in your studies. She will also settle more quickly.

My dd started nursery 3 days a week from 12 months. She was smiling and happy from day 1 - not a tear in sight!

Di11y · 22/08/2018 17:22

How does the grant work? How much does it cover?

I actually think 2 mornings might work better long term - you'll be more focused as a shorter period and can potentially keep working during dd's afternoon nap.

Original poster

Bazoo23 · 22/08/2018 19:34

Di11y it covers up to a maximum of a certain amount each week, I haven't got the paperwork handy at the moment but if you Google its on there. Due to DPs income we wouldnt qualify for a great deal but I would only use one day/2 half days even if we did.

OP posts:

GoatWithACoat · 22/08/2018 22:53

I had an unplanned pregnancy and had no choice but to place my 3 month old in 5 days a week. It broke my heart but she’s fine! We are very close, have a lovely bond and she smiles and kicks her legs when they staff say hi to her each morning. She is the youngest there so gets fussed over loads and is happy and relaxed when I drop and collect her.

13 months is fine!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread