Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I will have to resign and just wait until...

40 replies

Metoodear · 21/08/2018 13:12

Dd3 starts primary school

I work 3 days a week and do so because I just don’t have child care either end of the week
Dd is adopted so I can’t just stick her with anyone she has extra needs my childmider has looked after serval adopted children before

The issue is my company keep automatically booking me on courses

I have just come back from annual leave to find I have been booked on a corse on Friday

I can’t cover Friday in terms of childcare as I don’t work Fridays my childmider is full we have no family support and no one we could ask and dh has used his whole allowance for this year

My boss says I have to go on it but I can’t I just can’t

I think it’s out of order to automatically book me on courses and for my boss to say well I can’t just inbook you I have to get the director to unbook anyone with a written email if she bloody checked with me first she wouldn’t need to

Also their is the issue of Christmas dh os not allowed to book Christmas off it appears nor am I so knowing we both can’t work Christmas and again childmider is closed for two weeks I told my boss up front I have been trying to work sundays as we are always short sundays and save up my days in leui to cover Christmas I have already worked one on exchange for Christmas Day as she was desperate however she still hasn’t done the paperwork for it and from what she is now saying seems like she is back tracking

It’s reallu stressing me out wanting to resign and look for a dinner lady job in a school in 12 months when dd3 starts primary school

OP posts:
JeanieLouToo · 21/08/2018 13:17

That sounds really unfair and your boss sounds completely inconsiderate, possibly a bully. Do you have a HR department you can go to to discuss your rights? A lot of them seem to be being ignored. They can't force you to work without agreement on a non-working day (I am assuming you have a formal agreement to work the three days), and they can't change their mind about Christmas when you need the time for childcare reasons. You need to make sure you are trying everything you can to make this work, if you end up being forced out because you have childcare needs it could be grounds for constructive dismissal.

disclosingshite · 21/08/2018 13:19

What a nightmare.

Mind you, isn’t there a more flexible childminder? What about nurses and the police force and retail workers? Two weeks for Christmas is bonkers.

nannyCrumb · 21/08/2018 13:22

The being sent on courses sounds wrong but if it's a requirement of the job then I think you'll find it hard to argue against; especially if the course only runs on these days.

WRT not being allowed to book certain periods as holiday - this is usually fine and you can't argue out of it.

UpstartCrow · 21/08/2018 13:25

Phone ACAS and ask them for advice. Your boss can't discriminate against you for being a parent (for example expecting you to work outside of your contracted hours); but if the training is a requirement for the job it can get tricky.

The Acas helpline number is 0300 123 1100

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 13:26

People who are given consolidated hours or dry working patterns in my line of work are given them on the proviso that if it's a training need they may need to swap days but will be given at least six weeks notice and where possible will be given the training on a working day. Two weeks off at Christmas is unreasonable, everyone would love to have that but can't. Your employer needs to give more notice of training but you also need more childcare provision

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 21/08/2018 13:28

Not being able to book holidays at certain times of the year isn't unusual and there isn't anything you can do as long as all employees are treated the same.
Booking courses on your day off is wrong, are you only contracted to work three days or is it a standard contract but you only accept shifts on the three days?

Original poster
Metoodear · 21/08/2018 13:30

It’s not two weeks I work 3 days a week so it’s six days but I have offered to do nights so o can be home during the day

But it’s the booking me automatically on the courses with a weeks notice sometimes and then complaining she can’t now get me out of the course
And this one was done while I was on AL Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Metoodear · 21/08/2018 13:31

Sugarhunnyicedtea

3 days a week contracted

OP posts:
Fang2468 · 21/08/2018 13:35

What would happen if you just said ‘Friday isn’t a working day for me’ and left it at that? If you aren’t contracted to work then simply you aren’t at work that day - end of. Your boss is creating this problem there selves.

BlueBug45 · 21/08/2018 13:36

OP find out your employment rights and tell your boss what they are. I suspect they can't just book you on a course on a non-working day without your agreement regardless of whether you have child care responsibilities or not.

Whatever happens do not resign let them force you out.

NoWayNoHow · 21/08/2018 13:41

JeanieLouToo is absolutely right - you cannot be made to attend a training course for work on a day on which you do not work. If you WANT to, you can of course choose to do so and claim overtime, but they have no legal right to insist you attend if it is on a day that falls outside your agreed T&Cs. Speak with your HR department.

fuzzyfozzy · 21/08/2018 13:43

Your childminder can go over numbers for an existing child, if she wants to. But that won't help you over Xmas.

essietopcoat · 21/08/2018 13:49

I would start by going to HR about this

dueanotherchange · 21/08/2018 13:50

If you don't work on Fridays, you don't work on Fridays. Simple. I don't work on Fridays and guess what, because of that, I don't work on Fridays!!

If it's in your contract, they absolutely can't make you go. I think that if they did, it's a potential case for constructive dismissal.

And also, they can't just say "you can't have Christmas off" unless it's in your contract. There must be some kind of a fair process for how they figure out team leave.

The Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to help you.

wantmorenow · 21/08/2018 13:54

Before leaving, consider formally requesting parental leave, it's your right to have unpaid leave of up to 4 weeks a year per child per year or thereabouts. There was a thread on employment issues here a while back. Was an eyeopener for many of us. Your husband will have his own entitlement too. May mean you can tide yourselves over until nursery starts at least.

ThatFridayFeeling · 21/08/2018 13:56

Do you have a union? They would be able to help.

hallamoo · 21/08/2018 13:59

All the people saying that if training happens on a certain day then the OP is expected to go....if you work mon-fri, 9-5, and your boss booked you on a training course on a Sat or Sun, do you still think it's reasonable to be expected to go?

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 21/08/2018 13:59

Parental leave can only be taken if it fits in with the needs of the business. I imagine a request for leave at Christmas would be declined

wantmorenow · 21/08/2018 13:59

www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

DarlingNikita · 21/08/2018 14:02

Go to HR first if you have one. Then call ACAS.

wantmorenow · 21/08/2018 14:02

Parental leave has to be granted as it's a right, the timing is the only negotiable thing and employer must offer alternative dates. Agree this may not sort out Christmas but may help sort out the rest. Also imagine the OP worked for a different employer on the Friday or Monday! Training cannot be forced on her on a non-working day surely?

lalalalyra · 21/08/2018 14:03

All the people saying that if training happens on a certain day then the OP is expected to go....if you work mon-fri, 9-5, and your boss booked you on a training course on a Sat or Sun, do you still think it's reasonable to be expected to go

Exactly this.

OP this is how I had to word it to my old boss to get her out of the thinking that Mondays and Fridays were "free" days when I worked Tue, Wed and Thur.

I did end up quitting though - lots of places just don't get it. Part time in some workplaces means part time pay but full time work and expectations I've found.

Timeoftheseason · 21/08/2018 14:05

It sounds similar to care work, is agency work an option for you?

AdoreTheBeach · 21/08/2018 14:06

I haven’t used child minders for a number of years, but when I did, my child minder was friendly with other child minders that would often fill in when one was ill or on holiday. People my son met up with while with my child minder. This was extremely useful when down the line my child minder needed surgery and could not mind children for a number of weeks.

Might it be useful to try to find back up child minder for occaisions you need additional child care cover, so your child is used to them far in advance of when you need it?

Nothing you can do about this Friday as it’s not enough notice - also reasoning why you need to advise your boss that it is not enough notice for your child care arrangements.

Such a frustrating situation for you OP. I hope you can address this with your boss - or even HR. You, and your boss, need clarity on this so it stops happening.

Original poster
Metoodear · 21/08/2018 14:09

Timeoftheseason

It sounds similar to care work, is agency work an option for you?

I am a support worker

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread