To ask for full time working life tips

[Chicci1]

I know this has been done before but I'm getting v nervous about my impending return to work after maternity leave. I'm going back full time as dh is also full time. We have no family help. We have a three year old and a 8 month old both of whom will be in nursery. My hours will be 7.30am to 4pm five days a week while dh will work 9.30am to 6.30pm. Both of our commutes are a little over an hour each way. He'll do drop off at 8am and I'll be collecting at about 5pm and will do a dinner for us and the kids and bedtimes. I'll leave the house at 6.20am so won't see the children in the mornings.
So far the plan is to get a cleaner and do batch cooking on Sundays. I will have to start having early nights too. Any life hacks that could help things be more manageable?

Some really good tips here. I woild add, dont plan any activities, clubs swimming lessons etc for a Saturday morning. You and the DC will need this to unwind.

Fresh pasta: only takes a few minutes which makes all the difference.

Thank you for not saying 'hacks'

Get a washing machine with a fast 15 min wash and wash a few essentials daily.
Get the cleaner to do some ironing.
Light food in the evening.
Prep everything the night before.
Leave work on time.
Work during your commute so you don’t feel rushed when you arrive/leave.

cook a chicken the night before.then you've got an optional meal ready for next days tea.u can then have it cold or hot or wrip it apart for a curry/stew etc.
not looking into money benig a problem.get yourself a few essentials.tins of tomatos.beans.pulses.bag of rice and pasta.tomato puree.few herbs.garlic powder.and always have few basics in the cupboard that you top up so there is a meal option at the ready when you've not had time to go shop.
if you no the day will be buys wake an extra 10 minutes early to get some chicken thighs chop some veg and put in a pour over sauce into a dish cover and fridge.its so nice to come home knowing that tea is ready to bung in the oven.seems simple and small but its feels so good when its that one less thing to do.
online shop.
have a folder,pocket,or notepad for the kids.to keep any letters.notes.important bits especially If you and dp are rushingbout and sharing childcare.so there can be letters put in bout medical or nursery stuff.anything to remember etc.
communicate.dont assume the other will be sensitive(not nastily so) to your emotions if your run ragged or need something obvious(to you) doing.
don't be stubborn and wait for the other to do things.your both in ur own world with ur own rush job so be kind to eacohter and just talk and let eacohter no.
sounds so cliché but take time for eacohter.and the little things.quick squeeze of the shoulders about their day.offering to help.make eacohter laugh.becasue you can find yourelf getting through just about anything when you feel someone has ur back

always cook twice.mince can be one night spag bol.then the next add some spices or do with doritos and kidney beans and can be a chilli
chicken fajita can be wraps one night lunch or with potatos or in pasta bake the next.
chicken thighs big pack.can be in a stew for half the pack.and with bbq sauce or wrapped in bacon the next.
leftover veg is bubble and sqeek heaven.or stiry fry.
sit with the kids for tea.
do the little thigns that can seem so insignificant but are actually the lovely things that keep you going.

I'm in exactly the same boat. Return to work in 3 weeks and have a 10 month old and a 2.5 yr old

Some great tips on here

Buy clothes that don't need ironing. Get things that you need for the next day, ready the night before, like clothes, bag, food. Keep a diary or online for important dates and transfer into next year's diary. If you live with other people in your household delegate them chores. Allocate some down time every day, even if only a short time

Another thing I have found time saving. If you use something in the house or garden, put it back where it came from. So each thing has a home, like scissors, medicine, envelopes, tools for DIY, travelling items etc

I don't have young children but DH and I do hobbies and classes some evening, and both feel a bit knackered in the evenings. I cook meals on Saturday and Sunday that leave leftovers or extra portions for Monday and Tuesday. This type of meal would be a curry, shepherds pie, pasta bake or similar. On Wednesday evening it is no cook night so we just have something from the freezer with a baked potato or maybe a frozen pizza. On thursday we have something simple, often made of bits and pieces that are left over, and Friday is Always Chilli, which i make in sufficient quantities to freeze for the following week too. I do all the shopping on line, except for the odd bits DH gets from the farm shop on Saturday morning. This pattern has taken a lot of the stress out of cooking.

Spend your lunch break at work organising your life - lists, spreadsheets, paying bills, online shopping.

Only buy and wear crease free clothes, so no ironing. Wear things 2 or 3 times at least, so less laundry.

Cook meals big enough for 2 evenings, so you only have to cook 3 nights a week. Eat out/takeaway/beans on toast type meal for the 7th night.

Lastly, the "just 5 minutes of your time" at 3.55pm when you're getting ready to leave are the font of all evil.

It's taken my DH years to recognise that he's trained people to drop in just as he's packing up to come home, because he was always willing to sit down and talk instead of saying he was leaving. He was habitually late home because of it for years.

If using slow cooker don't bother to pre-brown meat or par boil veg, just lob in raw meat and veg (frozen is fine too, frozen onions are particularly useful). Use shop bought jars of sauce. I've done this for years after friend gave me the tip - never any problem.

Take photos of important letters etc. from Nursery as soon as you get them (on your 'phone) and add to online calendar or share with DH.

You do need to think how you will manage when your kids go to school - my friend found that it was more efficient and actually cost comparable to have a Nanny share with another family. The Nanny was absolutely brilliant.

Speaking as an employer , please DON’T do life tasks - admin , insurance and stuff at your work

OK fair enough you pay for that time. But don't expect me to work outside my hours ever when things are busy either. Give and take I reckon.

OP It'll be fine, your DP is pulling his weight and you have the morning, he has the evening so you'll work it out. You just need to be really on top of your work to make sure everything gets done. In my experience it's what employers actually value, people who deliver.

I'm back at work after maternity leave in a couple of months too. Not full time though, only 4 days. It will be harder this time with two kids, and one will be in school too. I've always found food prep to be the hardest thing personally. We do try and have simple meals in the week - eg pasta and sauce, stir fry, slow cooker etc. Batch cooking I have always found difficult when working as it's too much to squeeze into the precious weekend. Interesting that a PP said they gave up on cooking. I almost wish I could do this, but I seem to be hardwired to expect a hot cooked meal each evening.

Wow, great tips. One thing I don't think I've seen yet: if your kids get dressed before breakfast, get them overalls or some kind of coverall bib/apron (I inherited mine from my sister, who got them in France) and also have an old sweatshirt or shirt to wear over your work clothes. Then all the food that doesn't make it into the children's mouths, or does but comes out again, doesn't go onto your (and your kids') clean clothes. You can just whip off the milk,cereal and snot covered layer and hey presto!
Good luck OP!

I'm not really getting the 'don't do life administration on your lunch break' thing. It's break which is mandatory in English law. You can sit there and do the crossword, eat a sandwich, whatever. Nobody has the right to tell you not to call the Energy supplier that's been overcharging you for months for example assuming you use your own phone rather than the office one and you're done by the time your break ends.

You lot are amazing, I’m so impressed with this. I’m past the stage of full time work plus small kids but served my time doing that for years and I have no advice at all apart from two pieces of advice someone gave me that I clung to - firstly keep motivated, secondly don’t feel guilty. Those two pieces of advice somehow helped me through. We muddled through with no help from family (none nearby) or a cleaner (house too much of a tip) and it all went okay most of the time and we all survived. Good luck to you!

Some things which I've found valuable but haven't already been mentioned. Definitely agree with food delivery, leaving things out and a cleaner! Adding a few things that might not be relevant for OP but may be for others.

Nursery/preschool feed my DS breakfast and tea. When he wakes up he has an aptamil 4 (so I don't even have to go downstairs to get milk out of the fridge plus it has vits) and a few dry cheerios in a box I do the night before - he gets his milk with nursery breakfast and at end of day. When he was younger I fitted a high chair in my bathroom and he sat in that whilst I showered and got ready (yes I did Milton it each night!). He will ask for a banana/ Apple or mini carrots when he gets home if he's hungry.

I wear a vest top until I throw a work top over the top as I leave so I don't get stuff down it and have an emergency set of clothes in the office which has been a lifesaver!

I do life admin during work hours but I also work during non working hours and most of my commute and lunch breaks. My work trust me to get my work done. I found the book "I know how they do it" very insightful!

If you have the option to do a 4 day week take Wed off - I set out the weeks delegation over Monday and Tuesday and review Thursday and Friday. I've found clients feel less worried about a day off in a week than a 3 day weekend. Plus it's 2 work says then a break then another 2.

I go in slightly later by doing drop off and thus stay later, my husband goes early and leaves early. The only issue is that he isn't keen to do sick days so it's usually me - didn't think to discuss that up front.

If there is any way you can afford it, put your child in nursery for a few whole days before starting as well as the settling in sessions. They'll be more settled, therefore so will you and you can sort yourself out before your first day.

And talk to your work about child sickness in the first month and say how you'll handle it (hol or otherwise) as kids get sick when they start nursery etc - at least then you'll have had the conversation up front.

Hopefully useful

Speaking as an employer , please DON’T do life tasks - admin , insurance and stuff at your work

If any of you impressive bunch work for me please feel free to do your life Admin as you need. I trust you not to take the piss and appreciate your team work. Good time management is dealing with the personal stuff as soon as you can so you can then continue to focus on the paid job.

I have a slow cooker and pressure cooking but don’t use them, haven’t found any great recipes, please share

Nothing major to add but we use lots of frozen veg and fish. You can have a dinner on the table in minutes with grilled fish and Veg (like sliced peppers and red onions) steamed veg in under ten mins. The Tilda rice packs are brilliant and easy feed 3. Ready made mash on the top with creme fraiche, frozen fish pie and frozen peas and tinned sweet corn is a quick and easy fish pie that is healthy.

Oh and if you work your lunch hour every day then you are effectively working an additional 19 days for free over a year. So do admin!