To ask for full time working life tips

[Chicci1]

I know this has been done before but I'm getting v nervous about my impending return to work after maternity leave. I'm going back full time as dh is also full time. We have no family help. We have a three year old and a 8 month old both of whom will be in nursery. My hours will be 7.30am to 4pm five days a week while dh will work 9.30am to 6.30pm. Both of our commutes are a little over an hour each way. He'll do drop off at 8am and I'll be collecting at about 5pm and will do a dinner for us and the kids and bedtimes. I'll leave the house at 6.20am so won't see the children in the mornings.
So far the plan is to get a cleaner and do batch cooking on Sundays. I will have to start having early nights too. Any life hacks that could help things be more manageable?

We have date night. Thursday nights, a takeaway or dine in for 2, glass of wine, no laundry and a chance to catch up on the week, plan the weekend, watch an episode of something on Netflix and then an early night.

Something to look forward to and gets you through the week x

Nikephorus
ok fair point sorry

I agree doing personal non-work stuff during work time is taking the piss and nobody is entitled to do that.

Gosh yes I do this as a lone parent! Two of you will be easy as pie. Get a cleaner, do easy meals, don't obesses about housework.

I meant doing house admin at work in a fair way. I sometimes get to work 20 mins early due to my train, and I sit and have a quick cup of tea before I start the day and do a couple of mins of admin/lists/emails on my phone. I don’t actually have a lunch hour as I work through it so I can leave work earlier, but my boss encourages me to take a short break during the day to recharge.

In our case cooking was the thing that just had to go. We had thought to batch cook and slow cook but it didn't really happen 80% of the time.
The graveyard shift (when everyone comes home, tired, cranky) is when you bang in the tesco microwave ready meals and never look back. We love good quality food and cooking but there was just no way in those early years, sometimes not on the weekend either. I never saw myself as a ready mash or microwave pasta type of person but I regret nothing. These days (kids are 10 and 8) we're always cooking/baking and weekend family dinnners are sacred, but in the early days food was more or less just fuel. Go easy on yourselves!

@serin you are my idol

Meal plan
Never iron anything

If it hasn’t been said: sign up to online grocery with unlimited deliveries for a monthly fee. As soon as your basket gets to £40 you check out. Avoids having to run the cupboards and fridge down while you wait to ‘justify’ putting an order in. Lifesaver. I’ve had deliveries 2 days apart and don’t bat an eyelid.

When you make tea during the week do four portions instead of two so you've already got tomorrow's lunch- put it in the Tupperware as you're service and then it go into fridge as it will have cooled by the time you wash up
Put half your loaf in the freezer in sandwich bags of two or four slices- always have some bread ready then
Butter dish- lurpak is NOT spreadable
Famcal shared calendar app - you can put dates in and who it applies to next to it, and allows you to add daily/weekly tasks. You can do one of these adminny tasks on your lunch break and tick it off
Washing on the line before you go work so it's dry when you get in
Always buy two of essentials when they're on offer so you don't have to go out just for looroll
Washing basket upstairs and downstairs
Buy the big packs of chicken or mince and portion them into freezer bags, (chop up if you have time) then take them out night before and put into fridge and will be defrosted ready for teatime
Same with veg and things like lemon and limes (frozen fruit is good instead of ice with your g and t!!) If it can be frozen do it before it goes off
Pasta and sauce packets for emergency tea
Empty your pockets/purse of change less than a pound and put it in a jar/piggy bank in the kitchen so it's always there if you need change

my circumstances are different to yours but I still have some of the same issues due to me working 12 hour shifts , so along with the commute I can be out of the house for 15 hours .

Yes to a cleaner , could she / he pick up the DCs in a emergency ?
I have to wear a uniform to work so on a Sunday I set up 5 sets of uniform with everything on one hanger so I can grab and go .

Prepare breakfast and lunches the night before . Large omelette is my favourite, for breakfast or cold lunch whisk the eggs put in what ever 'filling' you want stick it in the fridge , in the morning bung it in the frying pan let it cook slowly while you do another job , half hot for brecky half cold for lunch.

The slow cooker will become your best friend !
its a great way to cook , very easy and you can use the tougher cuts of meat . as PP said 10 mins prep , turn it on before work ( dont forget as I have done once or twice ) coming home to the smell of a stew / chilli / spag bol is wonderful.
When you have chicken , save the bones ( freeze them till you have a lot ) bung them in the slow cooker along with a onion / carrot or what ever and a few pints of water and you will have a great broth / stock that can be quickly made into soup for lunches or added to stews for a better flavor .

Buy lots of containers that can go in the freezer / microwave , for the leftovers so they can be frozen / heated easily , and for the love of god make sure all the containers are exactly the same so you dont spend 10 mins playing hunt the lid

Oh and I agree with on line shopping , I can not drive so lugging it all home was impossible so I had to use a taxi that cost about £5.
So I signed up to Tescos delivery ( I shopped there anyway so I knew the quality ) I can have all of my shopping delivered as many times a month as I want , I opted for the cheapest version so for £3.50 per month I can have my shopping delivered at what ever time I want ( between 6am till 11pm ) on Tue Wed or Thurs .
Its been a great help to me .

Batch cook for a few hours at the weekend, put things in clip lock containers that will go in fridge, freezer and microwave, and it will save you hours during the week. Nothing better than knowing your healthy, veggie laden dinner can be ready in the microwave in only 10 mins. And less washing up. And less waste as you will automatically menu plan.
Wash, tumble and fold straight out of the dryer, (never need to iron) and get everything ready the night before,(clothes for all chosen and laid out, lunches) so a quick getaway in the morning.
You might not need the cleaner if you are all out every day!

Cereal and fruit for dinner are not the end of the world, occasionally.
Online food shopping.
If you feed your children before you go to work, get dressed and put your dressing gown back on!
Be a team.
No ipads in bed!! Herbal tea and a book...relaxing, brain exercise, good sleep hygiene, something to talk to other people at work about other thn your babies.
Laugh at yourselves and take photos of the silly moments.
Date nights - find a babysitter.

Oh god yes never iron.

Speaking as an employer , please DON’T do life tasks - admin , insurance and stuff at your work

Slow cooker has been my life saver over the years. One other handy tip is to buy one of the little plug timers for it, so it comes on at maybe 11am or so as sometimes things can over cook if on from 8am right through to 5.
I think a mixture of slow cooker and then batch cook pies, lasagnes etc for freezer. (& always have fall back of freezer dinners like fish fingers etc. No guilt over meals like that the odd night!
Lay out own clothes night before.
Plan out full week clothes for dc with few spares
Definitely try and make weekends as non functional as you can get away with. Or else you will feel like it’s an endless cycle.
Not having a bath some nights is ok for children!

My DD's have always had tea at nursery but once they got to about 4 they were
always hungry when we got home. Tea at nursery is a 'light' tea at 4pm and I don't pick up until 6pm. We've got into the habit of offering them cereal (either Shreddies or Weetabix). It's quick, easy and filling. It's not occurred to them yet that they could ask for an actual meal
I also bath them in the morning as I find it easier and far less stressful all round.

Oh and most importantly of all, screw the guilt. Parenting and working is a balance and you can only do your best. Don't tear yourself up in knots about things. Be organised and work as a team with DH and it'll be fine.

Outsource the cooking too. You'll be too exhausted to cook every night. Hire a service that cooks healthy, yummy food and delivers batch meals once or twice a week. It's not as expensive as many think, saved my sanity

My sis pays her cleaner extra to do laundry and ironing. So that's another option

Either buy fresh prepared or frozen veg as it’s so easy to stick it all in the oven.

I make a pasta sauce with one of the roasted Mediterranean veg trays and blitz with frozen garlic, chilli, mushrooms and Worcestershire sauce. Pop it in ziplock food bags as it freezezs flat, takes up less space and defrosts quicker (saw it somewhere and works well). DH and DS love it and we either have it as a veggie sauce or poor over mince for bolognaise. Nobody realises it has all the veg in they don’t like.

DS also loves a ‘carpet picnic’, where it’s a deconstructed sandwich (he never eats the bread!), blueberries/strawberries and crisps. It’s a real treat as he can watch TV at the same time whilst I hide with a coffee at the kitchen table 🤣

When your eldest starts to get to birthday party age pick a good generic birthday present and buy several the same, top up when needed. Every child turning 4 gets the same present. Next year pick something totally different and give the same to every child turning 5. No need to worry about giving the same or similar gift to a child two years in a row.

If can afford to pay for Amazon prime then do it. So many birthday parties at nursery and you will be able to order last minute gifts in minutes.

Declutter.We had a toy box in the sitting room and all toys not tidied were thrown in at the end of the day.
Cooked meals for the kids at nursery/school,this means you have less packed lunches to do and also less making sure you have the right things in the fridge.Also my DD used to be starving once home so beans on toast,egg and soldiers,sandwiches,picnic all fine on weekdays.
Calendar in the kitchen and small whiteboard for shopping list and important stuff.
Enjoy work as the change makes coming home a joy and the tough bits more doable.
Be kind to yourselves too as the children will still wake in the night but that usually gets better with time.

Every time you make something with a sauce, make double quantities and freeze half for another day.
Agree with pp about eating with the kids, it’s fine to feed them at 5.30 and eat (and talk) properly with DH once they are in bed.