This isn't one of those things that's causing arguments, rather we can both understand the other's point of view and the inability for us both to get what we want is a tiny blot on an otherwise very happy thing.
Quick background: I live with my girlfriend and her two daughters, and have done for a couple of years. I have an excellent relationship with the girls. They see their dad every other weekend and he and my girlfriend are on very amicable terms, and he and I get on fine even if we're not destined to be best buddies. All in all between the three of us we've given the girls a stable, comfortable environment and routine in which they are loved and are thriving. That's all great.
Before the summer my girlfriend and I reached the point where we wanted to try for a new one. And that all went very well.
Now, here's the thing. We're not married. When we do we're keeping our names and both taking the other's surname as a bonus middle name preceding our surname. We barely even had to discuss that one and both feel the same.
The girls have her surname and their father's surname as a last middle name.
And... we're in a bit of a bind about whose surname the new baby will have.
She mainly wants the three kids to have the same surname. I think that's entirely reasonable, but also feel like the girls are very comfortable with the fact that this child will have their step-dad as dad. I don't think the difference will upset them.
I kind want the kid to have my name. I'm very close to my parents and family in general and I'm proud of the name, and the association that goes with it in the areas that my family live in. I don't think that's unreasonable is it?
Should we just toss a coin? Our relationship isn't weak enough to be rocked by this, I think it just bugs us that there doesn't seem to be a right answer or a way for us both to enjoy the same outcome.