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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to abuse medication

50 replies

Mrsfloss · 21/08/2018 01:17

I am holiday with dh, I’m 6 years sober from alcohol.

I am on medication for anxiety, yesterday I took a extra two thinking it would make me more relaxed. The reality is I was sleepy and legs were wobbling and a bit out of it.

I abused it and did not want that to happen. I guess I just wanted a release that I can’t get anywhere.

I have never taken extra tablet before,

My DH is absolutely mad, really arguing in front of DS 14. Saying I’m just like being on alcohol I have ruined my sobriety. Totally not taling to me and yelling when I talk,

Passive aggressive in front of Ds

I was totally unreasoned to take the
and I know this. aibu For him to continually fall on about about it?? He drink and goes to bed, about once a week and I never say anuthing

OP posts:

OrangePeels · 21/08/2018 01:22

Was it truly a mistake? Your OP reads like you are under the influence of something. An extra 2 tablets is a huge amount. Can you see your dr?

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 21/08/2018 01:23

Does it read like I’m under influence. This was on Friday so definerly not!

OP posts:

BlueJava · 21/08/2018 01:24

Whilst he's not handling it in the best way I would say he's clearly very, very worried that you're going to be doing this again. Please don't get into the habit of taking 2 more to make you a bit more relaxed!

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 21/08/2018 01:26

I won’t. I just wanted a release. and know I can’t get from alcohol. I’m totally ashamed and learned my lesson

OP posts:

CheshireChat · 21/08/2018 01:31

I'll be honest, if you were my partner I would absolutely make your life hell for even considering it and would make sure it would negate any relief you had from it.

I expect it comes from fear as having an alcoholic in your life is incredibly damaging IME.

FWIW you have done absolutely amazing the past six years and you should know you don't need to rely on anything. Could he help facilitate some 'me time' so you could do an activity you enjoy?

Labradoodliedoodoo · 21/08/2018 01:34

What medicine was it

Lizzie48 · 21/08/2018 02:05

I'm surprised your DH knows you took 2 extra tablets? You were obviously concerned enough to tell him, I'm on Sertraline and I've accidentally taken too many a couple of times in the past and my DH has been none the wiser. You were concerned enough to tell him what you'd done, which must be why he's worried.

What medicine is it?

CardsforKittens · 21/08/2018 02:16

If you're struggling, you need to see your GP as soon as possible.

If your DH isn't normally shouty he's probably a bit scared for you. If he's frequently shouty and aggressive perhaps he's part of the problem.

Belina · 21/08/2018 02:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsRubyMonday · 21/08/2018 02:24

OP I have a pain condition and anxiety. I know how tempting it is to see your meds and think that an extra one wont hurt, and if one helps, two has to be better. And yeah sometimes it works for a while, but those dose instructions are there for a reason. It's so dangerous to take more, and it builds quickly.

If your DP is able to discuss calmly, explain to him that you know it was wrong, but you didn't want your anxiety causing problems and you made a bad choice. If you feel able, I would ask him to look after your meds until you get home, provided you think he will give them to you when you need them. That way he feels like he is helping you and you're taking responsibility for the decision you made.

Areyoufree · 21/08/2018 02:31

If you're in AA, then you need to phone your sponsor asap. I've been sober 16 years, and something like this would worry the hell out of me. You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about taking the extra pills, but you need to take steps to ensure that this doesn't escalate. I've heard too many people say, after a relapse, that they didn't know what happened - they just found themselves drinking again. Almost like they made the decision subconsciously. Your husband may be picking up on behavioural cues that you are unaware of. Try talking to him calmly, and listening to what he has to say, although without feeling like you have to keep apologising. This isn't about making him feel 'better' about it, it's about you honestly appraising where you are at right now - and he can help you figure that out.

agnurse · 21/08/2018 02:37

Sadly a previous addiction increases your risk for addiction to prescription medications.

I agree with contacting your sobriety support immediately. I also think you may find it helpful to discuss with your provider whether a different medication may be more appropriate for you. We are finding more and more that antidepressants, especially SRIs (e.g. Prozac, Celexa, etc.) actually work better for anxiety than traditional anxiety medications, and they do not have the abuse potential. Your provider can help you determine if this is an appropriate switch for you to make.

Original poster

Mrsfloss · 21/08/2018 09:27

It was diazepam

OP posts:

HelpmeobiMN · 21/08/2018 09:29

However concerned he is, your DH shouldnt be making his feelings clear in front of your child. That’s very unfair and inappropriate.

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 09:31

Diazepam is really strong, but it's your motivation that concerns me, you did it for a release as you can't have alcohol, your DP is right to be concerned. Please get some help as soon as possible

Shoxfordian · 21/08/2018 09:33

Yeah you should speak to your support network
I can see why he's annoyed with you

WhatsInAnotherNameChange · 21/08/2018 09:38

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/sleeping-pills-minor-tranquillisers-a-z/diazepam/

I'd talk to your doctor about weaning yourself off what is a tranquiliser and ask about more effective medication and treatment for anxiety.

Bambamber · 21/08/2018 09:41

Yeah I would be super pissed off if my partner took 2 extra diazepam. It's not like taking extra paracetamol. I'm surprised you were prescribed diazepam with previous addiction problems

DontTouchTheMoustache · 21/08/2018 09:42

Sorry off topic but is it not irresponsible for a gp to prescribe such an addictive substance to somebody who has had issues with addiction in the past?

Hidillyho · 21/08/2018 09:52

My concern would be that you did it partially for the release you used to get with alcohol.
You have done amazingly over the last 6 years. Please try to seek help if you can, you do not want to replace one substance for the other.

FWIW, I think your DH is probably concerned that he will lose you to another addiction. His passive aggression will probably be coming from a place of fear and concern rather than anger

LemonysSnicket · 21/08/2018 09:53

Well of course you were, but if you won't do it again the. It's not the end of the world. Make it a learning moment.

Tomatoesrock · 21/08/2018 10:19

It sounds like you are worried too, trying to get a release is chasing a buzz. Please get in contact with a support group. Has the holiday triggered it?

Congratulations on your 6 years sobriety and may there be many more years, onwards and upwards

CripsSandwiches · 21/08/2018 10:22

I imagine he's probably very worried and upset. Having experience with an addict I know that it put me off being around someone even mildly intoxicated for a long time. I do agree with PP that you should discuss it with your doctor as it's far too dangerous to risk entering into another addiction.

Branleuse · 21/08/2018 10:23

I think he has no right to go apeshit at you, especially if you have anxiety and were trying to dull it. Alcohol and diazepam are coping mechanisms and maybe if he didnt scream when you slipped up you wouldnt need as much.
Saying that, an extra 2 diazepam is a lot and you know it. Is that really the road you want to go back down?

CripsSandwiches · 21/08/2018 10:23

Sorry forgot to add congratulation on 6 years

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