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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wtf do you do with neighbours like this?

52 replies

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:41

The obvious answer is move, I can't for the next few years unfortunately. So I will get rid of the fuckers eventually but in the meantime...

I've posted about them before. Apologies this is so long but...they are complete arsebadgers. The wife has been out in the street before screaming that I have MH issues (I don't fwiw) and has told me that I am never to tell her kids to keep out of my garden. The husband is a complete wanker, performance parent when it suits him (like plays football in the middle of the street with his kid, despite the fact we live on a main road with a fair amount of traffic and parked cars...or shouts really loudly, whistles etc outside his house at all hours) although he ignores the kids for at least 5 days a week. Their kids are also a nightmare. Half the time they are left unsupervised in the street to run riot (they are 3-9) or else they are in their garden also unsupervised screaming and shouting at all hours (any time from 7am to 9pm) while parents sit inside.

They used to kick their ball over my fence daily and then climb over to get it. I was told not to tell them not to because they're kids. I now have a 6ft fence so the ball comes over less, but I have caught them trying to climb it. They also now kick the ball against if repeatedly mainly the kids but the dad does too. One of the panels is already bowed due to this and the fence is 3 months old.

I am not happy about this, or the attempts to climb in my garden (they also go in my front garden when I'm not there). I've also had NDN say to me that if his kids knocked for the ball I wasn't to refuse them (I said I was busy once as I was making dinner) he said I could see into your house over your fence you weren't doing anything. I found that really unpleasant and intrusive. My house isnt overlooked at the rear so I don't have curtains. I have got some now to stop him looking in. Twat.

When me/ family/ friends are in the garden now talking, the kids next door start yelling SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I can hear the parents laughing so I know this is directed at us.

They have also (temporarily) defaced my DPs car by rubbing something sticky all over it when he parked in ''their space'

I'm an educated, reserved person. I grew up on a London council estate though and this behaviour is completely alien to me, I've never known anything like it.

I spoke to our local community police guys...their advice was ignore it all. I feel I shouldn't have to though it really takes the piss. I know that compared to people getting real serious shit from neighbours like petrol through their letterbox it's complete first world probs but for me this is still shit and I have concerns that it is just going to keep escalating. I am expecting the fence panel they are kicking to break by next summer. And they won't replace it either.

I also have a strong suspicion that they have (when they could still climb in) nicked stuff from my garden. I do genuinely worry they will come into my garden still. The kids also throw toys and rubbish over every day.

OP posts:
saladfingers · 20/08/2018 19:44

They sound obnoxious. Are they tenants or owners? If they are noisy environmental health might be able to help.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 20/08/2018 19:44

Can you get some cctv put up?

TheDairyQueen · 20/08/2018 19:45

like petrol through their letterbox

Surely you've just answered your own question? (kidding!)

Keep a diary. Get CCTV installed. Document it and evidence everything, without this there is fuck all else you can do.

Blackness78 · 20/08/2018 19:47

It sounds horrendous, poor you. The kids have been allowed to run amok because the parents give zeros.

And the indimidation is appalling. It's not the kids' fault, they're being egged on my their parents. I can't think of any solution, really. It's okay being told to ignore it, but they are invading your space and harrassing you.

I hope it gets better for you 😊

Ncobvs · 20/08/2018 19:49

Yep get cctv. I think it's not that expensive now. Go back to the police tell them you can't ignore it. Keep on at them until they do something. Are they owners or tenants?

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:51

I've got cctv at the front- it shows the kids riding their bikes round my front garden (paved) when I'm not there.

It's their house unfortunately. They are overcrowded as it's a tiny 2 bed, basically my house and the house next door were extended in the same way, then theirs was split and sold as 2, so they are living just in the extension.

They are noisy but afaik if it's just kid noise (repeated screaming, crying, shouting) or the bloke loudly singing, whistling etc that I just have to put up with it.

OP posts:
Mummymummums · 20/08/2018 19:51

I feel for you. I can imagine it's horrible to live like this. Sounds silly, but maybe kill them with kindness? Smile and say nice things to the kids - so much harder for them to be awful then. Not very helpful I guess!
If they're tenants then contact the landlord and complain.

chickenowner · 20/08/2018 19:51

Yep get cctv. I think it's not that expensive now. Go back to the police tell them you can't ignore it. Keep on at them until they do something.

This.

And you have my sympathies. They sound vile.

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:52

Sorry by their house I meant they own rather than tenants.

OP posts:
Mummymummums · 20/08/2018 19:53

X post - I see they own. How many kids and how old?

chickenowner · 20/08/2018 19:53

As an aside, could you reinforce the fence somehow, maybe extra metal posts or something? I know you shouldn't have to but it may make you feel a little better if you aren't worrying about it breaking.

Ncobvs · 20/08/2018 19:53

Sorry also i wanted to say I'm really sorry for your situation. Horrible noisy neighbours are so stressful.

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:55

4 kids, mixed sexes, aged 3-9 (I think, although could be slightly younger than that)

OP posts:
Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:57

The fence is wooden panels that slot between concrete posts. The whole thing won't come down but the panels will if they keep kicking a ball at it. Im not sure how I can rest anything against it because they kick the ball all over the panel not just in one place.

OP posts:
Ncobvs · 20/08/2018 19:58

Unfortunately if they own you can't complain to their landlord. Definitely don't let the police get away with saying you need to ignore it. They are preventing private enjoyment of your own home.

I remember a few years ago when asbos where a big thing. Antisocial behaviour was an offence then. So surely it is now.

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 20:02

The police take the view that we all need to live together blah blah...plus given the ages of the kids they say they can't do anything. I struggled to even get the community officer to speak to me in the first place as they felt it wasn't anything they would get involved with and it was marked not for follow up/ call back!

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 20/08/2018 20:03

Something sharp on the top of the fence perhaps to prevent climbing over, or something difficult to grasp.?

Racecardriver · 20/08/2018 20:03

Well you could sue for trespass etc and get a court order to get them to stop but it's an awful lot of effort and they will probably just break the order. It really depends on whether you want to ignore in the hope it doesn't escalate too much or punish them. The first thing you should do is get cctv in your back garden and your car/cars (high chance they will scratch the paint at some point).

GabriellaMontez · 20/08/2018 20:06

Cctv.
Dash cam.
Back to police.
Very prickly shrubs in garden e.g. pyracantha
Huge sympathies. I don't think it's a first world problem at all.

chickenowner · 20/08/2018 20:07

I was thinking of a couple of metal posts driven into the ground in between the concrete posts to reinforce the panel that's being damaged. I'm not sure if it's feasible or not though, just an idea!

chickenowner · 20/08/2018 20:09

Or even a second fence right up against the first one.

Again, I know it's an extra expense and you shouldn't have to pay extra but it may give you a little peace of mind.

We have a double fence arrangement on one side of our garden because we were worried that our dog would get through the fence to get to next door's dog!

WhatsInAnotherNameChange · 20/08/2018 20:13

These security strips can be screwed and glued to the inside of the top of your fence.

Yes. Keep on at the council and PCSOs about their antisocial behaviour.

Rory786 · 20/08/2018 20:16

This sounds awful OP you have my sympathies.

Ok so you have been to the Police
Got CCTV
I think you need a vicious looking dog. I am not joking. It will deter them from coming in and will alert you.

Whatififall · 20/08/2018 20:18

Your local authority will have a Private Sector Housing team who deal with Anti-Social Behaviour, and your neighbour’s actions would fall under that. They deal with private tenants and owner-occupiers. It would definitely be worth having a google for the phone number and ringing to discuss.

thecatsabsentcojones · 20/08/2018 20:23

Defensive planting might be a good one, we had a pyracantha and they wouldn't be climbing around that spikey bastard, put it that way. So you could add a second fence for strength, then something above that for it to climb up.

I feel for you, it must be driving you bonkers.