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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wtf do you do with neighbours like this?

52 replies

Squigglypiggly · 20/08/2018 19:41

The obvious answer is move, I can't for the next few years unfortunately. So I will get rid of the fuckers eventually but in the meantime...

I've posted about them before. Apologies this is so long but...they are complete arsebadgers. The wife has been out in the street before screaming that I have MH issues (I don't fwiw) and has told me that I am never to tell her kids to keep out of my garden. The husband is a complete wanker, performance parent when it suits him (like plays football in the middle of the street with his kid, despite the fact we live on a main road with a fair amount of traffic and parked cars...or shouts really loudly, whistles etc outside his house at all hours) although he ignores the kids for at least 5 days a week. Their kids are also a nightmare. Half the time they are left unsupervised in the street to run riot (they are 3-9) or else they are in their garden also unsupervised screaming and shouting at all hours (any time from 7am to 9pm) while parents sit inside.

They used to kick their ball over my fence daily and then climb over to get it. I was told not to tell them not to because they're kids. I now have a 6ft fence so the ball comes over less, but I have caught them trying to climb it. They also now kick the ball against if repeatedly mainly the kids but the dad does too. One of the panels is already bowed due to this and the fence is 3 months old.

I am not happy about this, or the attempts to climb in my garden (they also go in my front garden when I'm not there). I've also had NDN say to me that if his kids knocked for the ball I wasn't to refuse them (I said I was busy once as I was making dinner) he said I could see into your house over your fence you weren't doing anything. I found that really unpleasant and intrusive. My house isnt overlooked at the rear so I don't have curtains. I have got some now to stop him looking in. Twat.

When me/ family/ friends are in the garden now talking, the kids next door start yelling SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I can hear the parents laughing so I know this is directed at us.

They have also (temporarily) defaced my DPs car by rubbing something sticky all over it when he parked in ''their space'

I'm an educated, reserved person. I grew up on a London council estate though and this behaviour is completely alien to me, I've never known anything like it.

I spoke to our local community police guys...their advice was ignore it all. I feel I shouldn't have to though it really takes the piss. I know that compared to people getting real serious shit from neighbours like petrol through their letterbox it's complete first world probs but for me this is still shit and I have concerns that it is just going to keep escalating. I am expecting the fence panel they are kicking to break by next summer. And they won't replace it either.

I also have a strong suspicion that they have (when they could still climb in) nicked stuff from my garden. I do genuinely worry they will come into my garden still. The kids also throw toys and rubbish over every day.

OP posts:
MayhemandMadness01 · 20/08/2018 20:29

When the wooden panel goes, replace with the concrete bases rather than another panel. Put something sticky on the top of the panels so they constantly get sticky hands when climbing over, kids will most probably wipe hands on clothes so with any luck, parents will then start saying not to climb to save the washing etc.

Any neighbour disputes will need to be disclosed when selling so I'd avoid involving the police if possible.

Maelstrop · 20/08/2018 20:30

Anti-climb paint or add trellis and spiky plants to your side? Wankers. I HATE inconsiderate neighbours. They make life a misery and it should be a criminal offence.

MayhemandMadness01 · 20/08/2018 20:31

Oh and plant some lylandi (sp?) conifers along the fence. They can grow quick in the right conditions.

Treacletoots · 20/08/2018 20:36

Water sprinkler!!!! It's the obvious one for me. One that comes on if anyone trips the sensor...

Timeforabiscuit · 20/08/2018 20:37

Second and third pyracantha, absolutely stunning berries and evergreen, very robust plant which is perfect for defensive planting.

FeeLock28 · 20/08/2018 20:38

In addition to the above, if you feel that the PCSO is offering such lame advice or simply being passive, I'd go over his/her head and contact their superintendent of police and be 'that' person who simply won't be mollified. It sounds as though they've taken the view that they're ramping up their tolerance of what they will or won't investigate - all very well when their budgets are slashed, etc etc, but they still have obligations.

I worked with a woman once who swore by being 'that' person: finding out her rights, making a complaint to the right person, and then keeping on, at least once a week, until she was becoming too much of a nuisance to be ignored. Her favourite expression was something like, "You are going to have to give me a timeframe for action to get rid of me ..."

sueelleker · 20/08/2018 20:41

We had a concrete fence fitted because of the neighbour's kids. It has uprights with vertical grooves, into which horizontal bars of concrete slide. It's very solid, and only took a day to install.

NoLightInTheTunnel · 20/08/2018 20:46

Anti climb paint on top of the fence panels. You'd have to put up warning signs not to get yourself into trouble. However, they'd only go home so many times with black hands/clothes that won't wash off before their parents tell them to stop climbing your fence Grin. I have it painted on top of my fence/gate to stop the neighbourhood brats kids climbing into my garden.

www.amazon.co.uk/Blackfriar-Climb-Vandal-Paint-Black/dp/B0091T7NGU/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=anti+climb+paint&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1534794324&sr=8-3

ScrimshawTheSecond · 20/08/2018 20:57

Bad neighbours are the worst, you poor thing.

Have you got any loud, intimidating friends you may wish to ask round for drinks? Get a big barky dog?

www.gov.uk/how-to-resolve-neighbour-disputes

TubeTop · 20/08/2018 20:58

You said you can't move for a few years, but can this be revisited? I had a similar situation with my beloved house and garden when arseholes moved in and after sticking it out for about 3 years only moving could help

Daisydrum · 20/08/2018 21:00

This is horrible OP! I am forever worried about my children making too much noise in the garden as I know what it’s like. Definitely get the anti climb paint (and put up a sign). Also when you have friends over always put on music to drown them out! Definitely ignore them when you have friends over!
These neighbours are trying to intimidate you. Don’t let them! Stand firm and keep telling them to stay out of your garden. If the parents say don’t say that to them, ignore what the parents say and keep telling the children, they’ll get the message!

Elephant14 · 20/08/2018 21:08

I think you live in my house OP. Neighbours at rear are almost exactly the same except it is the father who gets into our garden as the son is only 6 although he doesn't shout shut up when he hears us in the garden, he goes full monty "FUCKING SHUT UP" - well, thats what his parents tell him to do so it must be the right thing eh? Apparently we steal their footballs because we do not find them and return them immediately.

Unfortunately we do have a dog and they use this against us, it also worries me that they would attack or poison him. We are having a really high pergola put at the rear fence to deter them getting over or throwing stuff over, but I feel your pain OP.

StopCloudSeeding · 20/08/2018 21:15

Plant lots of pyracantha. Water and feed it as and when! It looks pretty in the spring, feeds the birds in the autumn and repels visitors because it has vicious thorns.

You can take cuttings easily.

😄👍🏻

daffodillament · 20/08/2018 21:17

Nightmare. I agree with planting something against fence. Laurels ?

Ginorchoc · 20/08/2018 21:24

I think you might have my old neighbours, I ended up losing my shit with him in Sainsbury’s whilst stood next to the cucumbers, I think he thought I might insert one somewhere. I was triggered by him pretending we were friends. It cooled after that and they moved out. Where do they shop Op?

Septima · 20/08/2018 21:25

www.garden-fence-panels.co.uk/product/concrete-base-panel-rock-face/

Would something like this help?

I agree that cctv would be a good idea. You can get motion activated ones for not much money now.

We had to move from our last house due to vandalism and antisocial behaviour from the teenage son of a neighbour. It badly affected my health Sad

Could you move sooner?

Ginorchoc · 20/08/2018 21:26

*we didn’t go shopping together I had the unfortunate honour of bumping into him.

Septima · 20/08/2018 21:27

You can also buy an antisocial defence device that only young people can hear. It emits a sound which causes discomfort and they can’t stand it. You could situate it at the front of the house to deter the brats from riding around in your garden area.

DopeyDazy · 20/08/2018 21:52

I read about someone who fell out with their neighbours and poured chicken guts down their chimney the day they went on holiday. Two weeks later the place was alive with flies and maggot and the people moved. There was a fine involved but probably worth it

oyYou · 20/08/2018 21:54

plant a Rosa Kiftsgate spelt wrongly I think! from david austin roses on line

it grows very very fast, and the thorns are horrendous, small white flowers, very beautiful, but deadly to intruders.

IdaDown · 20/08/2018 22:03

www.hedgesdirect.co.uk/acatalog/intruder-proof-hedging.html

Some easy on the eye prickly b’stards

Sorry10 · 20/08/2018 22:10

I feel for you been there problem with your neighbours is they don't like being told . That's why I fell out with my ndn if I told kids not to climb my wall or kick ball . Write everything down meantime just maybe but some anti vandal paint in fence out put a sign up with a warning same with cctv. Never retaliate the kids will grow up so will get easier and they will get board bothering you.

DownAndUnder · 21/08/2018 00:12

Anti vandal paint, a sprinkler or possibly some spikes on your fence? I’d also play loud music every time they were in the garden being loud to drown them out. Definitely look at moving though, with parents like that I doubt the kids will get easier.

JoffreyBaratheon · 21/08/2018 00:26

I planted blackthorn and hawthorn along our fence that adjoins the dog-kicking, child-beating neighbours from hell and although slow growing, I know those blackthorns will eventually be perfect. Police are next to useless even when you have aggressive neighbours - we also got the flaccid "Ignore it" advice, but even as the copper was saying it you could see him thinking he was glad he wasn't living next door to such lowlifes.

Neighbour's delightful 5 year old girl ran up and down the garden yelling "Shut the fuck up!" when my two adult sons were having a (quiet, normal) conversation at the other end of our own garden. But that was last year. This year neither child has been seen once in their garden all summer.