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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Guy at work blows his nose VERY loud and today I lost it. AIBU

98 replies

Sj325 · 20/08/2018 18:30

This is probably going to sound really stupid. There’s this guy I sit next to in work who’s in his mid 40’s. He’s really nice and I get on really well with him 99% of the time.

But....he blows his nose SO loud and it drives me crazy! I have said to him about it before - I’m a civil servant and have to deal with public on the phone most days, there was one day he done it while I was on a call and the lady actually started laughing and said “for goodness sake” ! I was mortified and had to apologise on his behalf but I spoke to him about it when I came off the phone.

Today he done it again while I was on 3 different calls Angry and when I finished the 3rd call I took my head phone off and said (rather angrily) “do you really need to blow your nose like that when I’m on the phone?! It’s extremely loud you know” He looked at me rather surprised and said “oh, sorry!” Then didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day.

I know I should have approached it differently but I honestly find noises like nose blowing and extremely loud coughing and sneezing so rude!

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed for such a thing?

OP posts:
Bimgy85 · 20/08/2018 20:11

Yanbu. Repeat things like this can be so annoying. I work in a job talking to customers on phone and it really really annoys me when they either talk too loud, press dials on phone while talking or keep sneezing/coughing

TigerlilyMoon · 20/08/2018 20:12

"Iknowwhoyouare123

Maybe he'll lose it hearing you repeat 'done it/done it again'."

Omg I died Grin

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 20/08/2018 20:27

Hi all,

We don't think that correcting SPAG is really in the spirit of the site and we do remove these sorts of posts when reported to us.

Can we call it a day on that subject and keep the thread on track, please?

PlatypusPie · 20/08/2018 20:33

You’d hate me :( I’m a loud, vocal sneezer, just can’t help it. I’m quite softly spoken, am a considerate and quiet nose blower ( unless in own bed with v bad cold) but I’d love to have a delicate little ‘achoo’ .

MrsBonnie · 20/08/2018 20:36

My neighbour that lives below me blows his nose extremely loudly three times at exactly 7.01am every morning. I'd laugh if it didn't incense me so much. Its the loudest, trumpetiest thing ever. Angry AMBU to bang down on the floor? haha

Davros · 20/08/2018 20:43

I think nose blowing very obviously is bad manners, especially when the culprit checks the contents of their hankie afterwards - vom. I also hate hair brushing and arsing about with your hair in public, again bad manners. A discreet nose puff or quick comb maybe, but the full works? Get thee to the bogs ffs

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 20/08/2018 20:44

There’s a woman at work who sneezes ridiculously loudly. When she does it the CEO always looks disgusted and says the sound goes right through him. The rest of us giggle and message each other that she’ll be receiving her P45 soon!

user1485342611 · 20/08/2018 20:46

People loudly blowing their nose at the table turns my stomach.

Haworthia · 20/08/2018 20:47

Why is it only men who sneeze and blow their noses so noisily? Because I’ve never noticed young boys behaving like that. It’s definitely a learned response.

5foot5 · 20/08/2018 21:36

Well you have a point with nose blowing because that is something you have control over and if someone really needs a good blow they can go out to the loo or somewhere to do in private.

Loud sneezing is more tricky because that is something you often have no control over. I know it can make people jump and is therefore annoying but, really, it cannot always be avoided.

I now sneeze really quite loudly. And to people who say you can learn to sneeze quietly, well it doesn't seem to work like that. I haven't always been a noisy sneezer. Until the last few years I used to sneeze like a normal person, nothing for anyone to take issue with. However since I hit 50s something seems to have changed and I now get explosive sneezes with no warning. It is a bit embarrassing but I don't really have any control over it.

If I get a really bad fit of sneezing that goes on for more than three sneezes then I do leave the room and try to get it under control by nose blowing, which sometimes helps.

LakieLady · 20/08/2018 21:45

Noisy sneezer here. And I have multiple allergies, so I sneeze a lot.

I can't help it, they're just loud. If I try and muffle them, I get a sort of blowback and it really makes my ears hurt. And it doesn't usually work anyway.

My NDNs can hear when I sneeze, I can hear them taking the piss out of the noise when I've had a sneezing fit. Blush

Original poster
Sj325 · 20/08/2018 22:06

Sneezing I can deal with - it’s involuntary. Although there is a woman who sits behind me who sounds like she’s barking when she sneezes and it’s like 5-6 sneezes in a row, and I do think to myself she could be a bit quieter. But the nose blowing isn’t involuntary and when it’s every 10 minutes it just seems more like a habit than the actual need to do it.

OP posts:
PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 20/08/2018 22:40

Sorry but loud nose blowers in the office drive me nuts. Go to the bathroom to do it.

There is a special place in hell for those people who insist on performing several large fog horn blows in succession.

Original poster
Sj325 · 20/08/2018 22:56

*PanGalaticGargleBlaster

Sorry but loud nose blowers in the office drive me nuts. Go to the bathroom to do it.

There is a special place in hell for those people who insist on performing several large fog horn blows in succession.*

LOL 😂

OP posts:
Riotgrrrrrl · 20/08/2018 23:02

There's a woman in my office who breathes really loudly. And her nose whistles when she exhales. And she doesn't exhale like a normal person, she puffs the air hard out of her nose (then the whist happens as well)

It drives me mad all day!

Original poster
Sj325 · 20/08/2018 23:05

OMG the nose whistle - my ex used to do that, it was like he was snoring while he was awake.

I feel your pain 😫

OP posts:
whitehousemum · 20/08/2018 23:05

Another loud sneezer here- I genuinely can't help it! In fact, the more I try to stifle it the louder it gets. Husband has given up being embarrassed by it now and just laughs. He on the other hand has an ear splitting nose blow - no idea how he makes that noise without bursting his own ear drums.

Lockheart · 20/08/2018 23:17

I have never once trumpeted when blowing my nose. Noisy nose blowing is entirely unnecessary and unpleasant. I sit opposite a colleague who is very hygiene conscious and he is forever blowing his nose, but he does so without a performance and it’s not a problem.

My ex deciding to attempt the French horn concerto at 3am was another matter.

Just blow your nose quietly like a normal person. If you’re incapable of that then at least do it in the bathroom.

Parisbun · 20/08/2018 23:21

I used to sit next to a man who employed an unusual method of sneezing. He would place his hands flat on the desk about a foot out from his body. He would then lean back in his chair and give a massive aaaachhoooo.
By employing this method he ensured that his spittle covered as much area as possible. His monitor was covered in a layer of dried on spit akin to fly spots. No tissues were used at any stage of this manoeuvre.
I had to warn anyone who had the misfortune to be directed to his desk if they were hot desking to bring wipes before they used the keyboard. Totally gross person and I was glad when he moved on.

Maelstrop · 20/08/2018 23:22

My dh does massive loud sneezes, no need imo. It frightens the dog who wakes up, looks terrified, slinks off. Even my silent restrained sneezes now cause the same effect!

justilou1 · 20/08/2018 23:54

My dad used to sneeze so violently that he stood on the accelerator while going around a corner and crashed into a tree. He’d had the mid-life crisis red sports car for less than a week and none of us were very sympathetic. (*fell about laughing - obv. He wasn’t hurt at all.)

HeebieJeebies456 · 21/08/2018 01:37

In my last work place we had some coke-heads who were constantly sniffing and blowing empty noses really loud.
Apparently comedowns are a bitch.....

TheDarkPassenger · 21/08/2018 02:11

Oh thankyou for this thread 🙌🏼 I’m up poorly with a brutal uti and this has made me laugh so much!

I have a ‘achoo-hoo-hoo’er at home and I dread him getting a cold cause it gives me horrific rage!

I honestly think it’s a subconscious attention thing, my ex did something similar but used to sneeze particles everywhere, he’s still a good friend of mine and even when he does it now I just wanna break up with him all over again (we broke up 7 years ago) 😂

TheDarkPassenger · 21/08/2018 02:12

Oops I meant an not a

Eek Grin

safariboot · 21/08/2018 02:22

I would consider raising it with your manager. Your clients have heard it and remarked on it and you're concerned it will impact your ability to handle enquiries if the clients are hearing his unpleasant noises like that.

And seriously, it's a disgusting noise and entirely voluntary. Nose blowing should be done in private IMHO. If I were on the phone to you and heard loud nose blowing I'd be grossed out.