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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At breaking point!

38 replies

mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 15:16

Not really an AIBU but don't seem to be getting answers anywhere else sorry!
could really do with some help!
Will try keep it as short as possible!
My twins will be 8 months on the 22nd and since they were 6 months old their bedtime routine has just gone to pot and feels like it’s just getting worse. We would come up to the quiet darkened bedroom &
They used to have their last bottle between 5.30-6 and fall asleep after finishing it then we would put them down then they’d sleep through until 6 ish.
Now they can be up until about 7.30/8, crying, wanting to play ect, and then we have to struggle and rock them to sleep. They can wake up hourly then be up for the day at 4.30. I tried CC for like one night and couldn’t bare hearing the blood curdling screams. They have 3, half an hour naps a day generally at around the same time.
Have tried dropping one of the naps but to no avail.
We are at our wits end and other than asking the HV I don’t know what else to do.
Thanks for reading

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 20/08/2018 15:41

I'm not an expert at all, but could you try separating them at bed time so they don't disturb each other?

Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 15:54

They are in separate cots and we only have 1 spare room so we can't have them in separate rooms :(

OP posts:
selly24 · 20/08/2018 16:20

At 8 months I would suggest 1 short, 1 long nap. Anything new you will have to stick with for a couple weeks with some protest, but it will settleSmile
Can you aim for 6:45 am wake up. Milk
7:30 Breakfast
8:15 - 9 Home activity, garden, short walk fresh air.
9:15 to 10am short nap in cots ( you shower/ make yourself feel human / relax at this slot and try not to go in to them: sanity time!!)
10:30 to 12 lots of physical activity
12:10 lunch
Milk
Then 1 to 3pm Nap in cots
5:10 Tea
6:15pm bath
6:45 milk
7pm bath
If you think separating them is a good idea, could you put 1 cot hall / corridor and make it dark?
Fit could go on locksbke castor wheels?? As you might need to move it to navigate past??...
Thoughts?

Averyimportantperson · 20/08/2018 16:38

Look up sleep regression. It's very common and kicked my ass big time. We never recovered and only survive through cosleeping.

It's to do with the changing sleep patterns of babies. Them going from newborn sleep cycles to child ones.

Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 17:41

Thanks for the reply Selly. Unfortunately no space on the landing for a cot it's only a small house, also they wake screaming between 4-5.30 and won't go back to sleep? So We just have to get up with them?

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 17:43

Averyimportperson, that's what I thought it was but do they last this long? It's been nearly 2 months and it's just getting worse and apparently there can be another at 8 months??

OP posts:
JustMeHere1 · 20/08/2018 18:15

Hi. Sounds like your trying to put them to bed too early tbh.
Try bedtime routine an hour later. Worked amazingly well for us 😊

And really try to relax - I know, I know - easier said than done and it's hard when your wound up but they will pick up on your stress.

Thanks
endofthelinefinally · 20/08/2018 18:18

Hunger?
Growth spurt?
Have they got more mobile so they need more calories?

RandomMess · 20/08/2018 18:18

If you rock them to sleep they will want rocking back to sleep!

I agree change their nap schedule to one short one long and a later bedtime.

TheConstantMoaner · 20/08/2018 18:20

Their bed time sounds too early tbh. Try to keep them playing a little longer then bath bottles and story. Lights out.
Also do you pick them up soon as they cry? Leave them to play in their cots for a while. Sometimes they will wake play then fall asleep again.

aperolspritzplease · 20/08/2018 18:21

At 8 months mine had two naps, morning and lunch and went upstairs at 7, asleep for 730. They have always been early risers, 430 wasn't unheard of but normally 5 / 530.

DeadDoorpost · 20/08/2018 18:22

I've been told the sleep regressions can last for two months or longer. DS is possibly going through one right now at 8 months. But then he's also teething so who knows at this point...

SometimesMaybe · 20/08/2018 18:22

sellys routine is spot on. All children are different obviously but I think with twins having a more settled routine earlier would be a life saver (and the 7-7 one has been used for generations because it works for most children).

They are also at the age where you could do a bit of sleep training. But you need to be in the right place mentally to do that!

MayFayner · 20/08/2018 18:27

selly’s routine is exactly what I did with my 3 (no twins though!)

Yes they will wake up at 4.30/ 5 while they are adjusting but try to get them to go back to their cots even if it’s just for a very short time before “official wake up time”. Also keep the lights off until then.

It’s a few nights of shite but worth it for when they settle into the new schedule.

DitchingTheDye · 20/08/2018 18:34

8m is a notoriously hard sleep regression

Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 18:41

They have been going to bed between 7-7.30 at the minute what time would you suggest?
They also have one 45 min- hour nap in the morn and half an hour to 45 min in the afternoon (since dropping a nap to see if it helped)
Will try adjust to selleys routine

OP posts:
DitchingTheDye · 20/08/2018 18:48

Sleep breeds sleep. I'd look at extending the length of their naps.

Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 19:03

If they wake up and won't go back to sleep what are you supposed to do though?

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 20/08/2018 19:05

I read a lot about the calm hour before bed. Didn't work with my kids they go to bed happy after a mad hour playing with us

DifficultSituation999 · 20/08/2018 19:09

As others have said 8 months is notoriously terrible for twins!!!

I really recommend joining (if you haven’t already) one of the many awesome twin parenting groups (eg Gentle parenting twins Uk, or others). You’ll get lots more twin-specific advice and they are also a safe place to rant away amongst people who really get it. Hugs from a fellow twin parent x

DifficultSituation999 · 20/08/2018 19:10

I meant to say “notoriously terrible for sleep”, not twins😂😂😂 OMG Freudian slip😂

HoneyWheeler · 20/08/2018 19:12

Sounds like overtired. At that age you 'should' be aiming for 3 hours daytime sleep. If they wake up you stay in the room, and try and resettle without rocking.

This is my life so I sympathise, although I've only got a singleton. The method that helped me was a gradual retreat and the Sleep Nanny. We hired a sleep consultant in the end who I can recommend if you like. It was £265 but I would have paid four times that for more sleep!

Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 19:16

Haha difficult that made me laugh! Thank you I'll join that group now, I am on some others though

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyoftwincesses · 20/08/2018 19:17

Honey - I wish we could afford that I'd love to hire a sleep consultant :( has it worked for you?

OP posts:
JustMeHere1 · 20/08/2018 19:35

7:30 is a good bedtime at that age I think.

For getting them back to sleep...
Have you tried one of those night light / music toys?
My DS still uses his at 4!
He has a slumber buddy one.

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