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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dined alone and I liked it

80 replies

DameDoom · 19/08/2018 15:39

Okay, I was mning on my phone a bit whilst there, but after a previously shit couple of hours on Friday with MIL on the palliative ward, I thought fuck it, so I went to Carluccio's on me tod. It was heaving but I had no problem getting a table for one. Had 2 negronis and a salad
I used to do this occasionally when I lived abroad but have never had the bollocks to do it here. I felt so grown up am 46

OP posts:
rainbowsandsmiles · 19/08/2018 17:24

No it isn’t the norm and I find it hard to believe you didn’t know that

Agree, but I really don't know why people don't! I know loads of people who are "ooh, I could never go out for dinner by myself or to the cinema!"
and I'm genuinely but WHY? I don't get it!
Maybe it's a self confidence thing? I've always enjoyed my own company, and am genuinely comfortable being me.
"People might think I'm sad" or whatever - I'd be like "I couldn't care less, let them. If anyone is playing the pity game (even though they probably haven't noticed or care!) I'd pity them more for not daring to do anything by themselves.

Original poster
DameDoom · 19/08/2018 17:33

rainbowsandsmiles it's definitely a self-confidence thing. Dining out solo for work is one thing but to actually do it for yourself is another. I cannot believe how much better i feel about myself.
If anyone is a bit scared, go midweek to a chain and just do it. You can mumsnet/critique whilst there.
I didn't pass my driving test until I was 37 but this, weirdly, has given me far more confidence.
Carluccio's negronis are great. Salad was okay.

OP posts:
Jeanclaudejackety · 19/08/2018 18:18

I like going to wagamama or pizza express on my pay day as a treat. Glass of wine, a main and usually I read something ridiculous and interesting like conspiracy theories or missing persons mysteries.

idonthaveatattoo · 19/08/2018 18:34

Tbh because if I’m going out for dinner it’s a social thing

PositivelyPERF · 19/08/2018 18:39

I used to love dining by myself. Nice restaurant on a quieter night of the week, nice bottle of wine and a good book. I would get a few sympathetic looks as I think people assumed I had been stood up. 😁

IllHaveALargeGlassOfRed · 19/08/2018 18:43

I love dining alone but I do need my phone, my Kindle or a book. And make zero eye contact with anyone lest I look like I'm on the prowl!

Except you, lovely waiter - you keep that Pinot coming!

Racecardriver · 19/08/2018 19:39

@catgirl you beat me to it Grin

Racecardriver · 19/08/2018 19:41

Oh and I went to the cinema alone. Small old local type cinema. It was blissful. Lots of women there alone actually, I think we've all had the same revelation. I considered starting a club but that would defeat the purpose.

VladmirsPoutine · 19/08/2018 19:56

I used to feel awkward until it dawned on me that I often would have a coffee/lunch/drink solo whilst waiting my plane or train or whatever to leave so I did it more often.

It is good for the soul.

Cupoteap · 19/08/2018 19:59

I enjoy doing this, was nervous asa twenty something but once I'd got the first one under my belt I was fine

Cupoteap · 19/08/2018 19:59

I enjoy doing this, was nervous asa twenty something but once I'd got the first one under my belt I was fine

Cupoteap · 19/08/2018 19:59

I enjoy doing this, was nervous asa twenty something but once I'd got the first one under my belt I was fine

Titsywoo · 19/08/2018 20:16

I've done it a few times recently and enjoyed it. I've actually been doing lots of things by myself in the last few months - mainly because I like doing exactly what I like with no thought to anyone else's diet/opinion/taste. I prefer the cinema alone now, went away for 2 days by myself in June and LOVED it (and ate out in several restaurants alone then). In all honesty I've never noticed other people staring at me (most people are out with other people and are very unaware of everyone else around them) and I wouldn't care if they did to be honest. Give it a try!

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2018 20:51

It doesn't take any confidence at all! Literally all you do is walk in and ask for a table for one. It's not hard and it's a lovely treat. I usually like to read while I'm eating alone, so I take my kindle, but you don't have to. Order whatever you like, take as long as you like over it.

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2018 20:53

Has anyone ever been on holiday on their own? I’m thinking of doing it this Christmas (have family and friends but nobody dependent on me).

Yes, and they are the BEST holidays!

BonnieF · 19/08/2018 21:13

I eat out all the time, mainly when I’m travelling for work. It’s a complete non-issue. Nobody thinks I’m a weirdo. If they do, they don’t let on Wink.

Why should I stay in my Hotel room on my own? Bugger that!

Snapchen · 19/08/2018 22:08

I genuinely thought that it was pretty normal until I discovered MN. No one IRL has ever said a word to me about it and I know quite a few people who also do this regularly.

I love it. I used to work in a job that required me to work a half day every second Saturday. When it was quiet I'd browse the internet to see which plays and musicals were on that day, and which restaurant I wanted to go to. I'd book my ticket and go have lunch in a restaurant of my choice, as soon as I'd finished work, then go see a matinee performance in one of the theatres.

Lockheart · 19/08/2018 22:45

It’s a peculiarly UK hang-up; no one bats an eye at solo diners on the continent!

Have also had a few holidays on my own. They were wonderful :) hoping for another in the not too distant future. No arguments about what to do or where to eat or how early to leave. No complaints about being bored or walking too far or wanting to stop for tea / ice cream. No impatient muttering as I’m pretentiously buggering about with my camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to do everything on my own. But sometimes being able to be completely selfish is just bliss.

redshoeblueshoe · 19/08/2018 22:57

I now want to dine alone.
I will take my fountain pen, and my best notebook Grin

Feltcushion · 19/08/2018 23:01

I dine alone all the time. I am a contractor who works away- I refuse to eat in hotel rooms as I cant abide the smell.

It isn't ever an issue. never had anyone feel sorry for me. On an odd occasion have dined with other solo diners and once with a couple where he had alzheimers and she asked if she could talk to me, so the 3 of us dined together.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 19/08/2018 23:26

I love going out in my own when I get a chance. No debate over where to eat. Nothing better than a mooch around the shops and a lovely meal in a nice restaurant, then take a bottle of wine back to the hotel room and chill out in complete peace.

FrozenMargarita17 · 19/08/2018 23:29

Oh god I love eating alone. Even more so now I have a baby. I would relish the silence.

Off to bed to dream of dining alone.

AlexaAmbidextra · 19/08/2018 23:40

I love it too. I’m going away next month to a luxury hotel overlooking the sea. I shall be on my own and am thoroughly looking forward to eating in the restaurant each evening.

Lauren0rder · 19/08/2018 23:45

I love doing things on my own.

I have an unlimited cinema card to go alone.

Love it.

meadowmeow · 19/08/2018 23:46

I do this now!!

It took until the second half of my 30's to get there, but I did it!!

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