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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for help now that blonde highlights no longer cover white hair at front of face

40 replies

AquaFaba · 19/08/2018 12:37

Really hope you can help.

Am early 40s and up until now have been getting half a head of blonde highlights done approx every 8 weeks. I have long hair which is in reasonably ok nick.

My natural hair colour is dark blonde, but I have a fair no of white strands which the highlights have concealed until recently.

The main problem is the fine tufts of hair around my face/hairline - these are grey/white and the highlights don’t seem to do anything to conceal them.

I’ve walked out of the Aveda salon the past couple of times now wondering what the hell I’ve spent money on as the white bits are still glaringly obvious, even though the rest of my hair looks ok.

I don’t know what to do. My hair is my one big expense but it doesn’t look right and I’m so self conscious of these very ageing white tufts.

What should I be doing? Because asking for highlights is not the answer.

Please help.

OP posts:

PaulRuddislush · 19/08/2018 12:39

I use a shop bought root touch up kit for the area round my face.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 19/08/2018 12:45

I would work on accepting that you're getting older and believing that that's OK. Because it is OK :-)

cardibach · 19/08/2018 12:47

WHitehair isn’t necessarily aging, while trying to disguise it can be...
A good, modern cut on white/silver hair (with added funk6 colours of appropriate to your job) can look fabulous. I’d look into that.

19lottie82 · 19/08/2018 12:48

I would work on accepting that you're getting older and believing that that's OK.

I don’t think that’s the kind of answer the OP is looking for

Ta1kinpeace · 19/08/2018 12:50

I’m so self conscious of these very ageing white tufts.
they are not ageing
they are perfectly normal
most people are going grey by their late 30's
embrace it, save the money and hold your head high

I get told my grey hair makes me look "distinguished" which I find really funny

PaulRuddislush · 19/08/2018 12:50

You might be better posting in style and beauty rather than AIBU where some people respond just to be unhelpful and possibly obnoxious.

As I said a root touch up works for me and lasts 4-6 weeks, only costs about £5 and blends in so your highlights should stay natural looking. Good luck op.

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2018 12:57

Grey hair is gorgeous. Grow out the highlights and you'll see.

Onecreamteatoomany · 19/08/2018 13:03

I have lots of grey coming through at the front too. I have my roots coloured the same as my natural colour to cover the grey and then balayage (free hand highlights) on the lengths and ends. Looks really natural.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 19/08/2018 13:04

@PaulRuddislush I'm honestly trying to be helpful, not obnoxious, this really is the best way to deal with these feelings in the long run. Getting older and looking your age is nothing to be feared. If you can accept that, then you're going to be a lot happier in yourself (and have a lot more money in your pocket)

averylongtimeago · 19/08/2018 13:06

You won't want to hear this, but imho dyed hair is more ageing than natural hair with grey in it.

A good cut and shiny natural hair looks way better than artificial colours.

Heartland3 · 19/08/2018 13:08

Hello Aqua. You need a base breaker applied to your natural regrowth in your natural colour and tone. This needs to be applied throughout the highlights as a root application. I can't understand why your colourist hasn't suggested this to you? I hope you get sorted.

Zintox · 19/08/2018 13:08

Grow out your grey and embrace it. It’s not as aging as you think. And you probably don’t have as much as you think either.

Gonegrey31 · 19/08/2018 13:09

I am much older than you but also have fine highlights on my now largely white hair -,it is a mixture of gold / blonde / white. I have a lot of white hair around my hairline / forehead. However, I love this look and can’t tell you how often people comment on how nice it is. Embrace the white , a block colour will show regrowth far too quickly and will look unnatural. I also go to an Aveda salon and think their colourists are fab . I bet your hair looks really lovely !

Original poster

AquaFaba · 19/08/2018 13:09

Thanks all, but I have no interest in leaving my hair undyed. Not scared of ageing, but I want to look and feel good for me.

Any other constructive suggestions gratefully received.

OP posts:

Bluelady · 19/08/2018 13:12

You probably won't want to hear this either but I stopped dyeing my hair when I was 43. My silver grey hair gets endless compliments - complete strangers in the street have gone out of their way to tell me how much they like it. A woman asked for my colour when I was having it cut once. Nobody even noticed it when it was its original colour.

Squidgee · 19/08/2018 13:18

have you considered going trendy and maybe trying the silver trend? they might blend better with a more silvery blonde?

Ta1kinpeace · 19/08/2018 13:21

bluelady
I was asked by a friend where I got my hair colour from
and I replied "my grandmother"

Even with the large percentage of grey, strangers think I'm ten years younger than I am

Girlsnightin · 19/08/2018 13:25

I'm the same OP but naturally darker so when I have my highlights I also have my roots done darker to hide the grey. It 8s off your stylist has not suggested it but may be the difference is more subtle than you think?

Boulshired · 19/08/2018 13:26

I found that for a few years it was the texture of the hair and not the grey that was causing the problem. I have areas of uneven grey so difficult to go the natural look. I found a mixture of shades of blonde helped.

Seeingadistance · 19/08/2018 13:27

I stopped dying my hair a few years ago. It’s in much better condition, shiny, looks fab and I get told I look much younger than when I dyed it. An acquaintance was inspired by me to stop dying her hair. She’s gone from bottle blonde to a very striking silvery white and looks amazing.

Embrace it and stand out with confidence!

LadyLoveYourWhat · 19/08/2018 13:28

If you aren't scared of ageing why are you "’so self conscious of these very ageing white tufts"? Maybe it's worth reflecting on how you really feel about getting older.

BlueRabbitWasNaughty · 19/08/2018 13:31

I'm in exactly the same situation op and am definitely not going to stop colouring my hair any time soon.
For now I'm using L'Oreal Magic Touch which is an 'instant root concealing spray'. My hairdresser does manage to cover the grey bits but the bits around my face grow out quickly so I use the spray for the few weeks before my next appointment.

thefirstcut · 19/08/2018 13:37

As a hair stylist I would recommend you speak to your stylist and ask for options.
Explain that you don't want to see white hair.

You could have some of your natural colour painted on to cover these bits, on the hair line, if you didn't want a root tint all over?

kaytee87 · 19/08/2018 13:41

A root tint painted on will cover it. You could try a kind of natural ombré style with the roots darker graduating into lighter highlights further down so it doesn't just look like you've let your roots grow in.
I'd also say that every 8 weeks isn't often enough, try every 6.

DarthLipgloss · 19/08/2018 13:51

My hairdresser colours the quarter inch of roots and round my hairline as well as doing highlights to blend in the grey when im all over blonde. Ask her to do this?

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