Pain in the ass FIL

[Donkeywonky]

So my FIL who is a bit of a spoilt child decided to cut a chunk out of my DS aged 11 hair with the dog clippers as a joke. DS understanding a bit upset by this. I'm feckin fuming but I know if I say anything it will cause a major row. He won't say sorry and has told DS to man up. Aibu to think this is a little unreasonable. DH defends his dad constantly even though he realises that he can be a bit of a prick.

I’d tell him to ‘man up’ and apologise. It’s assault and he’d be better off apologising now than after you’ve reported it to the police. And your DH is a dick too if he can’t protect the interests of his child over his dad.

Major row or not, any adult behaves in such a bullying, disrespectful way to my child, I'm going to stand up for that child.
Otherwise, what message does the child get?
You're not worth defending. ?
Feel free to behave badly to others if you're bigger/ more powerful than them.?

charge him for a hair cut

I'd be having a row with someone probably dh and fil your poor son. Can you cut the rest so it's short all over. We had to do this when ds1 was about 7after a mishap with hair trimmers. Poor kid looked like he was seriously ill, but it soon grew back.

I would be absolutely furious. It’s unacceptable to make a mess of a child’s hair! Would he do that to an adult? I think not! So disrespectful and mean to your child. He definitely owes an apology and tbh I’d think twice about letting him be around the child unsupervised if he does such stupid tricks.

I’d go for the row. You will only have to have it at some point. And tell dh if he were able to be more clear on boundaries with his dad the row wouldn’t be necessary so it is on him really (you make the row but it’s dhs fault that it happens).
Is there some context like you completely rely on them for childcare?

So rather than have a row, you would let your child be humiliated by an adult. Why would you, or your dh, want your son see you failing to support amd defend him.
Your fil is the catalyst, if there is a row it is the fault of your fil and nobody else.

Do it back to him and tell him to man up, you were only joking, whats his problem can't he take a joke.

Arse. Your ds should be allowed to do the same to him. Just a chunk, mind.

if I say anything it will cause a major row.

Nope.

FIL is 100% to blame. He started it. He caused the major row when he decided to shave off DS hair!

Stand up for your child

I would be absolutely fuming!! Does he think that's funny? What an immature prick. Wouldn't bite my tongue and would definitely cause a row over it, your poor DS.

It's a shit thing to do. Show your DS you're willing to stand up for him and tell FIL he needs to apologise. FFS.

He's a bully

Yep, I agree that I would be asking FIL to come here and sit down so you can cut a chunk out of his hair because 'it'll be funny'. No? Then he needs to go and apologise to DS.

Actually, all of that above? Your DH needs to do it.

I can't actually believe that I haven't gouged the man's eyes out with a rusty screwdriver tbh. I do tend to be very vocal when it comes to defending my boys. I think what hurts the most is that DS idolises his grandad and is more upset about what he's done than the actual hair. I did mention , quite calmly for me, that it was in fact assault . My son absolutely knows that I have his back and a few words were said a the time. I think that DH is more concerned at upsetting DS with the confrontation than his dad. Just had to vent for now before I take the.more adult approach with a phone call in the morning.

That absolutely sums him up in one word.

Wait til fil is asleep and have ds shave off his eye brows.

I’d want to shave FIL’s entire head of hair in retaliation! I’d shave DH’s hair off too and see how he likes it!

Your poor DS. Why should he be the butt of his grandfather’s ‘jokes’?! Nasty git. He’s just a pathetic bully. Couldn’t keep quiet on this one, YADNBU!

I fucking agree with Starlighter! Fucking bully! 😡

And he did it with the dog clippers? I’d go for the row too.

I do think he should lose his eyebrows for that too.

I do think he should lose his eyebrows for that too
Do it. Give the nasty old git a taste of his own medicine. Bet he won’t find it so funny then.

You need to have the row.

Your FIL needs to understand that your children are not pets provided for his entertainment, and if he doesn't stop bullying then he doesn't get to see his grandchildren.

TBH I would be furious if he'd done this to a dog, let alone my child.

How exactly did this happen as a joke and how was an elderly man able to clip his hair? Did you son hold still (in fear or shock) or was he pinned down or was he pretending to joke about with his grandad and it went too far? Because how it happened is sort of relevant

Fiesta then siesta, they were larking about , he wasn't held or pinned down. He pretended to shave a patch but it actually made contact with his head . Tbf it's only an inch patch.My FIL is in his 60s and by means doddery. If I'm.being honest it's not much what happened , but how he handled it.