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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect 5 yr old boys to cope manfully with being out of musical chairs

45 replies

martini · 04/06/2007 14:46

Have tried this question under parties but wondered if more people might answer it here.

Basically DS having party soon. Most games are non competitive but can't see point of musical chairs if no one is out. Guests are mainly 5 yr old boys - will they be able to just sit on sidelines cheering on the others as we did as children or will they need other distractions to stop them going into meltdown or generally being PITA?

OP posts:

Twiglett · 04/06/2007 14:47

I don't do organised games at parties because there's always one or two brats who cannot cope with it .. and if its your brat its really embarrassing

I actually have never understood anyone doing organised games .. can't you let them get on with it ?

dustystar · 04/06/2007 14:49

I had a party for dd when she was 7 and in spite of making sure that everyone got to win at something there were plaenty of tantrums and tears. Most kids take it ok but a few just cannot cope with not winning. The only @winning'[ game that i found caused no problems at all was pass the pacel as I put a treat inside each layer.

Original poster

martini · 04/06/2007 14:49

Let them get on with it last year and there was a riot with a lot of falling out/ arguing & tears. Have decided to go for full on organised this year to combat it!

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 04/06/2007 14:49

hmm agree with Twig - to a point

however - they will have to learn to cope with not always being a winner!

dustystar · 04/06/2007 14:49

The most successful activity at our parties tends to be arts and crafts.

Original poster

martini · 04/06/2007 14:50

Agree JT but would prefer not to be the one who teaches them!

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 04/06/2007 14:50

can't being doing with always placating selfish littel brats

hellish · 04/06/2007 14:50

tricky one, i have tried giving each child a little sweet (just a small one from a big packet of opal fruits o something) as they come to the sidelints.

I know it's bribery and they should learn to take in on the chin, but anything for a tear-free party imo

JoolsToo · 04/06/2007 14:51

that's the second time this week I've typed littel!

martini - your party, you're in charge -down to you this time I'm afraid

Original poster

martini · 04/06/2007 14:53

I know JT . Just felt a quick straw poll of other's success and failiure would enable me to make informed choice.

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 04/06/2007 14:56

Have to say that DS's mates have been fine. It's DD's friends that cause problems.

suedonim · 04/06/2007 15:25

It was always ds1 who ended up in tears at his own parties. In fact, I reckon he took himself off to bed by five o'clock for almost every birthday he had until he was...ooh...16 or 17years old? Okay, okay, maybe nine of ten, then!! He's always been a sore loser.

mummydoit · 04/06/2007 15:34

In theory, I agree they should learn to take it. In practice, not sure I'd want lots of upset/angry kids spoiling the party. I've seen kids having tantrums because they didn't get the first layer of pass the parcel, even when they've been told there's a prize in every layer and everyone will get a turn.

PrincessPeaHead · 04/06/2007 15:36

they'll be fine.
how many kids? I find that the musical statues/musical chairs thing works MUCH better if you can get 2 kids out at a time (they don't feel so victimised and embarrassed!)

but obv no good if it is a party for 8 people lolol

yaddayah · 04/06/2007 15:40

ds (5) is usually hyper competative and hates to lose at anything however when he's with his peers it seems to dissapate, he happily sat on the sidelines after losing at musical chairs/statues (he still tried his hardest though!)
YANBU (i think thats the right way round)

Hope he enjoys the party !

Lazycow · 04/06/2007 15:50

non competitive form of musical chairs here if you are interested web.ncf.ca/an588/musicalchairs.txt
Looks like a bot of work to do but seems like fun to play

ahundredtimes · 04/06/2007 15:55

Musical chairs is awful ritualized humiliation, left without a chair! Bumps and statues is more fun and I've never had anyone throw a fit about being out.
Ooooh a friend did a party with pass the parcel WITH FORFEITS in the wrappers, like we used to have. Children were horrified. Was very entertaining. She'd relented a little though as did put a sweet in every wrapper.

colditz · 04/06/2007 15:58

Do biscuit decorating - did it at my 4 year old boy's party and all the boys (3 to 8 years old) loved it!

ahundredtimes · 04/06/2007 16:00

Yes, or decorate party bags and crowns, and then they take them home with them. They like it too. Lots of sticky-on eyes and feathers and things.

Original poster

martini · 04/06/2007 16:08

Ritualized humiliation - I feel dead cruel. Thing is I used to love musical chairs and always thought the bit where evryone piles on last chair was great but maybe I was older.

We are doing lots of other things - craft activity/ treasure hunt/ musical bumps/ pass parcel etc but just thought one teensy weensy competitive thing would be okay.

Has anyone got actual practical experience of playing musical chairs with this or other age group - did kids like it?

OP posts:

Ladymuck · 04/06/2007 16:18

5yo boys can be really and intensely competitive. If he is a late recpetion year party though then presumably you will have had plenty of party models to fall back on (ie parties with children from the same class so you know who the dramaqueens are)

Stigaloid · 04/06/2007 16:22

I recommend sleeping lions! i used to love playing that as a kid. I was highly competitive and always used to lose as couldn't sit still for a minute but neverminded losing at sleeping lions as i found it funny trying to be as quiet as possible when i was always so hyper.

Things like musical chairs have kids running around and getting their enrgy levels up anyway, so likely to be more upset and hyper at losing.

Plus with sleeping lions you get to make them all really, really quiet....[thumbs up]

wheresthehamster · 04/06/2007 16:44

I made up this version of musical chairs to stop (lessen) the tantrums of being out early.

Before you start divide the children into two teams girls/boys or other.

Play musical chairs as normal but the children who are out have to scream and shout encouragement to their team mates. At the end whichever team member gets the last chair then that whole team are winners. Lots of cheering and backslapping for the actual 'winner' but ALL the team get a small prize. Then they all have to shake hands with the other team and say things like 'better luck next time' 'good try' etc. Very tongue in cheek but lighthearted.

This has worked best at mixed parties.

Original poster

martini · 04/06/2007 16:47

Totally agree with 5 year old competitiveness. I've just had a chat with my son and his friend who have come up with several suggestions but musical chairs not included - maybe no one else has been foolish enough to play it!!

OP posts:

pointydog · 04/06/2007 16:54

Give 'em a haribo if they're out.

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