to expect 5 yr old boys to cope manfully with being out of musical chairs

[martini]

Have tried this question under parties but wondered if more people might answer it here.

Basically DS having party soon. Most games are non competitive but can't see point of musical chairs if no one is out. Guests are mainly 5 yr old boys - will they be able to just sit on sidelines cheering on the others as we did as children or will they need other distractions to stop them going into meltdown or generally being PITA?

[nooka]

My ds finds musical chair type games very difficult to handle, and he's 8! Team games do help, but loosing just isn't much fun (and for some children it really is very upsetting, and I do think you have to respect that), so it's important to have a good mix of things, and include plenty of less extremely competivite games. I think musical islands (ie mats on floor) works better than chairs - less chance of them injuring each other! the point about the party is to try and make it enjoyable for you - and lots of very upset kids isn't a good recipe IMO. the gamnes that have worked best for us have been obstacle courses, apple bobbing and forfeits for pass the parcel (which lets face it is otherwise pretty boring). Grown up involvement helps too - save the humiliation for yourself and your adult helpers if you can - all the kids will love that! Oh, and be very organised - any time for "free play" has the potential to dissolve into chaos within seconds in my experience!

[lucyellensmum]

martini, you ARE being unreasonable . This is BOYS we are talking about, and they grow up into MEN. Competitive is hardwired into their genes It will be good for them in later life I recently went to a party for 2 year old girls, there were a couple of older boys there (7!) one of whom sulked profusely as he was "out" in musical bumps and also tried to wrestle the final present out of the birthday girls hands, even after EVERY child had got to open the parcel and got some sweeties. Boys hey, im glad i have girl, ah but hang on, teenage girls, i have one of those.........sulky, miserable, attitude of a pissed off rotweiller,,,,,,girls eh, i wish i had boys

[dontgetmestarted]

I have this problem with my nearly 6 yr old dd who cant cope with not winning at anything and throwing major tearful tantrums when she loses.

my theory is that some schools(ours included) don't do sports days anymore.
when i asked my school why, they said that "it's not nice for the children who don't come 1st at the games and some parents have complained that their dc feel left out.

sorry but tough shit, isn't that part and parcel of growing up, having the ability to handle not being perfect at everything.

oh just let the winging little buggers get on with it and don't let them spoil your ds's party.

[martini]

Crunchie that sounds great - haven't got as many kids coming but love the idea of everyone piling onto one mat. We could do it with table mats.

[Lovecat]

Musical chairs with no chairs removed?

Wasn't that a Victoria Wood sketch??

[crunchie]

we had a party with 40 kids and they did musical mats!! This involved carpet squares, and to stay in all you had to have was a toe on a carpt. In the end we had HUGE bundles of kids trying to sqeeze on carpets, no-one was actually 'out'

It was funny, then the disco man made them line up to get sweets

I tell yu that was the way tp do it, disco man cost £150, 40 kids I didn't have to do a thing all party

[fruitful]

I remember one party where we were all humouring the parent by joining in, but were quietly delighted to be out so we could go off and play with the Sindy dolls . Must have been older than 5 though, to be all politely doing the game for the sake of the organising parent!

[Ulysees]

remember*

[Ulysees]

I remeber being gutted when I was out
It's getting beyond a joke now though, they won't let the parents watch sports day at my boys school in case they get too competitive and it puts pressure on the kids???

[martini]

LOL at musical chairs with no chairs removed. Sounds like a sweet when you're out is the way to go.

Is this what happened when we were kids or did we take it on the chin with stiff upper lips. I can't remember having sweets for all the losers when I was young but maybe its been airbrushed out like a lot of childhood memories.

What do other people remember?

[Ulysees]

my 9 year old still gets angry if he's out but he's very competitive. Poor lad though is rubbish at sports so spends games being in a right mood He's good at mind games though, ie puzzles.
I like doing musical monsters or musical silly faces at a young age. You get them to stand still with silly face etc.. and whoever's out gets to pick a small prize out of a bag then winner gets wrapped present.

[fruitful]

Did at 4-yr-old party and just didn't remove any chairs. They didn't realise, they had a lovely time running around and trying not to be the last one to sit down.

[foxinsocks]

this is just the sort of thing that would give ds a nervous breakdown

but as I wouldn't stay, I wouldn't have to deal with it

so as long as you are prepared for the worst, then that's ok!

[pointydog]

just play the game, give them a sweet, if they want to snivel let them

[smoggie]

sweets for those who are out works a treat!

[Booboobedoo]

How about whichever child is out gets to press STOP on the next round? I've tried versions of this technique with various competitive games. giving them some control over the others makes up for being out.

You'll have to put up with them stopping the music after about two seconds, though.

[fillyjonk]

oh lol at this thread

cos a kid's party is the place to learn about life's rough and tumble.

if they can't cope with being "out" of musical chairs at 5, my word, HOW will they cope when called to the bar?

actually have been to party with great way of playing. noone is "out". everyone who wants to just keeps running round and running after the chairs. It makes it rather fun at the end.

[hellish]

martini, we always have musical chairs at parties, age 4 and up i have 2dds so mixed / mostly girls. kids always love it, haribo for each person as they are 'out' works a treat. Also saw this done with pages from a newspaper on the floor instead of chairs, worked great. maybe a little less dangerous this way?
go on play it, they'll love it.

[PrettyCandles]

Most 5yo can't cope with being on the sidelines, especially if they got there by being 'out'.

[pointydog]

Give 'em a haribo if they're out.

[martini]

Totally agree with 5 year old competitiveness. I've just had a chat with my son and his friend who have come up with several suggestions but musical chairs not included - maybe no one else has been foolish enough to play it!!

[wheresthehamster]

I made up this version of musical chairs to stop (lessen) the tantrums of being out early.

Before you start divide the children into two teams girls/boys or other.

Play musical chairs as normal but the children who are out have to scream and shout encouragement to their team mates. At the end whichever team member gets the last chair then that whole team are winners. Lots of cheering and backslapping for the actual 'winner' but ALL the team get a small prize. Then they all have to shake hands with the other team and say things like 'better luck next time' 'good try' etc. Very tongue in cheek but lighthearted.

This has worked best at mixed parties.

[Stigaloid]

I recommend sleeping lions! i used to love playing that as a kid. I was highly competitive and always used to lose as couldn't sit still for a minute but neverminded losing at sleeping lions as i found it funny trying to be as quiet as possible when i was always so hyper.

Things like musical chairs have kids running around and getting their enrgy levels up anyway, so likely to be more upset and hyper at losing.

Plus with sleeping lions you get to make them all really, really quiet....[thumbs up]

[Ladymuck]

5yo boys can be really and intensely competitive. If he is a late recpetion year party though then presumably you will have had plenty of party models to fall back on (ie parties with children from the same class so you know who the dramaqueens are)