To urge you to take more photos, make those phone calls etc

[Nunyabusiness]

It's the anniversary of my mother's death today - she died when I was in my early twenties and today is always a difficult one. She's missed so much.

It occurred to me that I only have three or four photos of the two of us together (where I'm not a child, of course), and half of those were taken as she was mid-treatment for cancer, so she doesn't look like the healthy, happy woman I remember when I think of her.

Although we speak of her often, it's saddening that I don't have anything to show my children.

So please - take the photos, phone that person for a call, pop round for a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Those memories will be so precious to you when you lose a special person.

Bless you OP I agree with you.

Sending you and strength. I wholeheartedly agree

I'm so sorry to hear this, Nunyabusiness and you are absolutely right about making the most of what time we have with our loved ones.

Sorry for your loss OP.

I agree, I lost my mother at a similar age and I have no photos of us together other than a few from me being under five. Not one after that.

I also haven’t a single photo of myself as a teenager. I suspect today’s teenagers wouldn’t believe me.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Completely agree with the pictures. I tried to find one of my Pa, but only ones on this phone are from when he was ill.

This has made me have a little cry. Of course you are right. Thanks for the reminder.
for you.

and hugs

so well said. Thank you

Such a good reminder, thank you OP

Thank you
Going to call mine right now.

Not everyone likes photos though. I have none, bar my wedding photos of me past about the age of 14. I do not display my wedding photos, they were just to keep my MIL and mother happy! I also don’t really do photos of my DH, I am just not interested in that sort of thing. I know that if he were to die tomorrow I would not be upset about the lack of photos!

I'm glad you had a good relationship with your DM op - mine died a few years ago, and our relationship was difficult to say the least.

Having said that, I was sad when I realised that the number of pictures of her, and things she'd bought me, and items with her writing on, were now finite in number and would never increase. There are various precious safeguarded items now that are now allowed to be decluttered, just because she bought them.

Funny old world.... I hated most of the stuff she bought me as we had v diff taste, but I can't let it be slung out now.

Agreed I'm a single parent of three there are not many photos of me and my eldest growing up as I'm the one taking the pictures and there was no digital then selfies are my saviour these days when I pop off they will have loads of me even with my cats

So true, I don't have many of my Mum and me together, but I did find two the other day taken years ago and we both look so happy. It did gladden my sad old heart.

for you OP. And thank you for your very selfless and caring message. My mum is currently being tested for dementia (my dad died of it) and im worried she’ll change from the lovely person she isn’t know, and my kids won’t be able to remember that person so well, like they can’t with my dad 😢

Big hugs op and a good reminder. Be kind to yourself today xx

*she is now, not “she isn’t know” typing too quickly.

@LaContessaDiPlump - I so relate to your comments about not being able to get rid of stuff just because my Mum bought it. I am slowly letting go of some things, but it is hard - it feeels like a betrayal, however, daft that sounds. My brother on the other hand, would have just chucked all the contents of Mum's house in a skip - if I had let him - he doesn't have a sentimental bone in his body.

Laliella

My mum sadly also. We did lots of home movies of her and the kids watched those. Film her now as she is and you will have happy memories. It’s hideous am not going to lie to you.

I'm have just lost my partner & so agree with this. We had so many amazing memories but I wish I'd had more photos etc.. Please don't ever leave on a cross word, life is so short. If only I could turn back time there are so many things I'd do differently.

Every moment is precious, tell your loved ones you love them all the time ❤️

trinity do you have children? I have found photos a great comfort since my DF died.

One of the problems I have is that it was usually me or him with a camera, so there are very few photos of us together, apart from my wedding ones. But there are lovely photos of him with DS which I treasure.

Unfortunately when my parents last moved, they threw away a number of photo albums, they were downsizing and didn't have the space. I managed to keep some, mainly of old family holidays, so it is lovely to look back on them, and they trigger many happy memories.

I don't like having my photo taken, but I have made sure there are some of me with DS, not necessarily on display but available.

I have also enjoyed looking back at old photos with my DM of her and DF in their younger days, which again has brought back happy memories for her, and reminds her of happier times, not of the many years when DF was in bad health.

Oh sorry I see your dad suffered too. Xx

You're right OP. I'd add - take video clips as well. One of the things you really want is to hear their voice again.

Bless you OP, I feel exactly the same about my Dad.x

Trinity you might not mind if you didn’t have photos of other people but your family may mind very much if they didn’t have photos of you.

Good reminder, OP and for you. I shall take the camera next time I see DM.