To urge you to take more photos, make those phone calls etc

[Nunyabusiness]

It's the anniversary of my mother's death today - she died when I was in my early twenties and today is always a difficult one. She's missed so much.

It occurred to me that I only have three or four photos of the two of us together (where I'm not a child, of course), and half of those were taken as she was mid-treatment for cancer, so she doesn't look like the healthy, happy woman I remember when I think of her.

Although we speak of her often, it's saddening that I don't have anything to show my children.

So please - take the photos, phone that person for a call, pop round for a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Those memories will be so precious to you when you lose a special person.

OP

Completely agree, I started taking loads of photos and some videos when my dad was ill and they’re what’s got me through the last 2 years really.

I also keep far too much stuff so I kept a lot of cards from him and I now have a gorgeous bracelet that says ‘love you’ in his handwriting

You're so right OP. I lost my mother yesterday. Thankfully I spent lots of time with her through her illness and took lots of photos. I said what I wanted to say to her and she died knowing I love her.

I lie awake at night remembering her voice, her smell and the feel of her skin. I dread the day when the memory fades and all I have are phone videos and pictures.

so sorry op. You're right. I regularly go through my phone deleting pics I'm not crazy about but can never bring must to delete any of my parents for the reasons you have stated. They are in their 80s. I'm very much aware

For reasons I won’t go into I only have photos of the last 6 years.
I’m NC with my mother and my dad passed away 4 years ago.
Father’s Day this year my ExH sent us a link to a google street view. Sure enough, there was my dad stood in his front garden enjoying his first cup of tea. Obviously his face is blurred out, but that picture means the world to me.

marvellous I am so sorry

There is a thread in Bereavement section for people who have lost their parents, if you ever need it. It has been a godsend for me since my DF died last year.

🌷 for everyone who understands only too well xx

You're absolutely right.

My mum was diagnosed 18 months ago and I realised at that point I had very few photos of her. Since then I've taken loads and often use pic collage to create memorable prints and I send them to her as well as she loves looking through them.

I’m so sorry.

I agree with you, I’ve lost two loved ones recently and there are hardly any photos. I also hadn’t seen my beloved grandmother for a few weeks before she suddenly died and I don’t know how I’ll ever move on from the guilt. I hadn’t even called her, I wish I could tell her I’m sorry for that.

I’ve called my Dad this evening. It’s rare we speak to each other, no animosity, but we’re both very busy. I’ve had an absolute wake up call that life is indeed very short.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I read something about photos being all your child will have to remember you by and realised that there were hardly any of my and DD. She's an only child so it just seems more important.

We've started taking a selfie at the start of every trip and printing it and writing a little about our adventure on each one. I'm going to get a nice album to put them in as DD grows. She has very few from 0-7 bit from 8 onwards I'm making sure there are loads.

marvellous

So so sorry xxx

glen

Fantastic idea there

I could have written that initial post myself. Completely agree with you and I regret not doing it every day.

Thank you. My mum is 78 and in reasonably good health right now, but I am going there on Sunday and thanks to this, I have realised the last photo I have of me, DM and DSis was taken 25 years ago.

I will remedy that!

I’m so sorry about your Mum 💐

I have so few photos of my Dad too, ones from when we were children but very few recent ones. I’m scared I’ll forget how he looked one day. I would love to have a video clip of him.

Thank you Ineedaholiday

Thanks all. I'm not after sympathy, it's been 9 years so I'm relatively well versed in coping, but I don't want anyone else to have the same regrets I do. Show people you love them, and document your time together xx

I totally agree. I used to hate getting my picture taken but I realised those pictures will actually provide memories for my dcs when they grow up. They won't care if my hair was a mess!
My dm died in May. She absolutely hated getting her picture taken. When we were looking for photos for the order of service, one of the nicest we found was one we'd forced her to pose for the year before we got ill. Thank goodness we made her do that.

GoldenEvilHoor I am certain that your children will want to remember you, if you are at all kind to them (which I'm sure you are)! What makes you feel that they wouldn't?

Your parents don't sound keen on pictures but there's no reason you can't be, if you'd like to

I wondered if trinity had children too. My mum also died of cancer almost a year ago. It was very sudden, less than 2 weeks between her falling ill, being diagnosed then dying. She hated having her picture taken and I have so few. The only pictures I have of us together are from my wedding. I really wish I had more. Especially to show my children, she never met the younger one as I was pregnant when she died.

This has touched me. So sorry for your loss OP. And I agree with what you're saying. But I look SO incredibly terrible in movies, seriously. Unless I don't smile. Something happens to my face and I end up looking like... well, a strange thing. I would love more photos of me and my fiance together. I'm sure when our baby is born in about 5 weeks, we'll get more pictures as a family.

trinity I think you’d feel differently.
I would give anything for a short clip of my grandparents. Just to hear their voices again.