To ask nursery not to let DS play with pens?

[PleaseLetItBeNapTime]

DS is almost two and attends nursery. Whilst he is not really fussed about crayons he loves to have a scribble in pen and staff at nursery have seen this. The issue is that he has been coming home with his clothes covered in ink which I can’t get out (I’ve tried using alcohol and glycerine to no avail).

WIBU to have a chat with nursery and ask them not to let him have pens? To me that’s common sense unless he is closely supervised, but they seem to think it’s ok which makes me feel that IABU?

Just as a side note DS goes to nursery mostly in Primark’s finest and wears his nicer clothes on non-nursery days, but all the same I’ve had to throw away quite a few items now and money doesnt grow on trees.

@IStillDrinkCava - tbh mothers and fathers are judged equally where they are both present, but I'd say majority of families we work with are single parents families with only mothers within the home.

Under Ofsted rules they can't stop him. Theyre not allowed to put any limitations on children. Everything they choose to play is all part of their learning and development
Its up to you to put him in suitable clothes that you donT mind getting grubby

YABVU. You are sending him in the wrong clothes.

@rebelrosie12 - and which wrong clothes would they be? I've already mentioned that they are from primark...

I have nursery clothes for my ds they are COVERED in paint... I don't mind it shows he's had fun and is learning.

Just send him in stained clothes. There's a very obvious difference between a clean t-shirt with pen stains and an unwashed t-shirt with pen stains. It's a regular sight in primary school.

Last school year my ds regularly wore polo shirts with whiteboard pen stains to school. He was in reception and no one batted an eyelid never mind made a comment. It drove me mad but there's no way I could afford to replace 2 tops a week, not to mention the waste of perfectly good clothes. Food stained tops were chucked but pen/paint were washed out as best as I could and worn again.

I have this issue with white school shirts. They use whiteboard pens on a smart board at school.. and my son manages to
Rub off it etc and I bin the shirts because it’s so obvious and nothing takes it out. Does hairspray really work?!

You either send him in scribble-coloured or dark clothes or do what I threatened to do with my son; varnish him so all he needed was a quick wipe with a damp cloth.

The other important point here is... if you know he is well cared for at home... why are you so bothered what other people think? That’s such a waste of time and energy

Our nursery does seem to use genuinely washable paint, DS has come home in some amazing states and it’s come out. Pen is definitely more tricky but the last lot of black marker came out after several rounds of vanish.
I’d have a word with nursery about maybe the brand of pen or frame it as ‘do they have any washing tips’.
I’m surprised by the PP who said they have to be given whatever they want to play with. Presumably pens aren’t normally in the room (OP says they normally have crayons in there) because they aren’t suitable for that age group without supervision. I’m guessing a childcare setting wouldn’t give a 1 year old small Lego blocks just because they wanted it, or the kitchen knives?!

Nursery told me today that DD had fun with paint and shaving foam and it was on her clothes

she's 3 she's had worse

She was also wearing a change of clothes covered in spaghetti hoop sauce

Both sets will go into the wash and if they stain they stain

This nursery that has a t shirt in the lobby with various stains on it pointing out that the dirt also shows the learning and fun

Would just relax OP

I have a friend who is a teacher, now deputy, previously KS1, she told me she wouldn’t even register pen stains on uniform, or of the kid wore the same polo for 3 days with lunch down it. She would notice if the child was smelly, unwashed, wore I’ll-fitting clothes, but wouldn’t care about own stains

I’ve worked in nurseries for years and we definitely wouldn’t judge scribbled on clothing . We also wouldn’t speculate the child wasn’t being looked after because they had stained clothes ect. We’d only enquire if we were genuinely worried about a child’s welfare. And it wouldn’t definitely start off as an ‘I hope everything is ok at home’ ect. So I wouldn’t worry
I don’t even think we’d be allowed to stop your child having access to mark making (ofstead) we couldn’t stop children going outside even if the parents requested because ofstead require the children to have these opportunities.

I send my little one to nursery with paint stains on everything, shoes included because there’s just no point in trying to stop them. I do roll up really stained long sleeves to look like three quarters if they’re particularly bad!

Ah, you are a social worker. Yes you will be used to unpleasant and totally unreasonable judgements.

However most teachers and nursery staff are not at all like this - they are practical and have more life experience and less ideology.

They actually don’t like it when children come to nursery in expensive branded clothes which always get painted on or lost. They prefer cheap, practical and easy to change clothes - t shirts and leggings, joggers etc.

As long as they are washed, no one will judge paint / pen/ food stains or scruffiness.