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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Children in box room

87 replies

ionising · 17/08/2018 14:57

I have read discussions from parents about children sharing a room. Hiw many of you have children in a box room?

My dd is 10 and a loy of her friends have a huge double.

She asked to swop with me? Absolutely not!

My sister grew up in the box room. I had the double.
AIBU to feel bad? I know its a first world problem.

OP posts:

GoblinSharts · 17/08/2018 16:22

Christ reading some of these answers makes me think my box room is smaller than most box rooms! Only have one child in a small double at the moment but if we have another they will have to go into the box room. I will hire a carpenter I think and customer make a build in bed with underneath storage and wall storage around the bed. The room has a box for the stairs in it which makes it even more sodding awkward. Probably put a bifold door on it too.

My sister had the box room and my dad custom made the room with furniture and painted it beautifully. I was almost jealous at the time even though I had the large double!
I think box rooms are ok if you make the effort with them.

IStillDrinkCava · 17/08/2018 16:24

I love the idea of 8x10 being a boxroom. That's double the size of our old one (6x7).

It's just a normal thing is't it? Mainly for younger siblings or larger families, but there must be multiple millions of families in the country living in 3 bed houses with a boxroom. We just make up for it as best we can - we bought a funky cabin bed for our youngest whereas the one with the bigger bedroom gets plainer furniture.

There's always the argument that she has another room, but it's not her fault she needs one so I'd avoid putting that on her.

I was at boarding school in a dormitory cubicle, so I'd give mine very short shrift about any bedroom whingeing.

Happyhippy45 · 17/08/2018 16:28

Is the box room big enough for your requirements? Would you consider swapping if it was so she could have her own space to hang out with friends?
DS slept in the box room in our old house. He loves to tell everyone how he slept in a cupboard.
He now has the biggest room as compensation.

Branleuse · 17/08/2018 16:30

My dd is in the box room. Someone has to have it.

memememe · 17/08/2018 16:46

i've got 2 children in the box room. its much smaller than most of you are saying yours are. it doesn't fit a single bed in so they are in shorty bunk beds and there is no room for any other furniture in there. no other option right now. dont know what will happen when they grow... they certainly wont fit in there as adults.

19lottie82 · 17/08/2018 16:53

This was my bedroom growing up. It’s obviously styled very minimalist in this photo as the house was for sale, but can you imagine it filled with a teenagers stuff? Inc a chest of drawers and a wardrobe. And with the sloped ceiling too!

OutPinked · 17/08/2018 16:59

My DS currently has the ‘box room’. It’s a loft conversion but by far the smallest room in the house. He doesn’t complain, he has enough space for his games console and such so that’s all he cares about . He will have the smallest room in the house we just bought too but it’s not a box room.

apriljune12 · 17/08/2018 16:59

Youngest had box room until oldest went to uni. Then it was swap. All 4 older ones have moved in and out of the box room at some point.

I think if I was in your position I might swop as really only sleep in my bedroom so don’t use it where your dd might use it more with her friends etc.

theSnuffster · 17/08/2018 17:03

DD is in the box room. The other two bedrooms are good sizes, DS's room is basically the same size as ours. We do struggle- she has a cabin bed with storage space underneath, a wardrobe and chest of drawers, then a space the width of the door to walk through. There's a narrow built in cupboard which we've turned in to a desk area. We've really made the most of the space but it's still not enough! Her room is the only thing I really dislike about our house, I'd love for her to have a decent sized room!

Orangecake123 · 17/08/2018 17:03

I don't think it does deep psychological damage. A box room is better than no room!

theSnuffster · 17/08/2018 17:03

Just to add, there's no way we could swap, you wouldn't fit a double bed in there!

MrsMonkeyBear · 17/08/2018 17:05

I had the box room and preferred it. Less room to make a mess so had to keep it tidy. I could also reach everything in my room from the bed, so I could turn the tv over with my toes (very old tv) but it was better than sharing with my sister.

Tiredtomybones · 17/08/2018 17:09

My two both have boxrooms as their bedrooms -approx 8.5x8.5, but they just sleep in there and have the spare room as a toy room, it's a double bedroom with just toys and storage. It works well for us - no arguments as they grow up about who has the biggest room, and they both have somewhere to take friends, as they never have friends over at the same time so they just know to keep out of the other one's way.

NutElla5x · 17/08/2018 17:40

My 16yr old has a boxroom.It's tiny (6 by 7) and not ideal, but he never complains bless him.Then again his 18yr old brother lets him hang out in his room-where the ps4 is.He's also very close to his big sister so will quite often hang out and watch tv in her room with her.One of the perks of having a big family is they learn to share I guess.

NutElla5x · 17/08/2018 17:41

*also

theunsure · 17/08/2018 17:43

I was in the box room after finishing Uni for 18 months. I didn’t mind!
People are very adaptable.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 17/08/2018 17:52

We had a very small single bedroom, next to a good sized double. Dh took the dividing wall down, repositioned it to make them more equal sizes, though one is still bigger. Wasn't a huge job, he did it in a weekend. Now have one small double and one middle sized.

Why on earth the builders didn't do this in the first place defeats me.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 17/08/2018 17:55

I have 2 children in my box room. 😱

MatildaTheCat · 17/08/2018 17:57

Bit different but we had a three bed house, two doubles and a single (8x6.5). We put bunks in the small room for the dc and used the spare double as a playroom/ spare room. It worked extremely well for a few years.

It’s always worth considering using rooms differently as the family grows but no, I would not swap my room with my dc. I think it sends out the wrong message apart from anything else.

KnobOfStork · 17/08/2018 18:13

In my 20s and still in the box room. Could never have friends stay over or round for the day as there was no space but I managed. The only thing that bothered me was that everyone else had PCs in their rooms but again that's not such an issue these days. I bought an ottoman bed to maximise space which was promptly filled with everyone else's stuff but as an adult I do have problems keeping my bedroom tidy and organised, I suspect as I've never had storage space so everything was just piled up. I am meticulously tidy in the rest of the house but my bedroom is just a bomb site I am not emotionally scarred by my Harry Potter cupboard upbringing, although in my stroppy teenage years I dragged my bed into the garden and bought a giant cushion to sleep on instead so I could stand on the floor without being able to touch both walls
The houses on my estate had huge boxes built in the small room over the stairs (I thought thats why they were called box rooms?) But most people had them removed as it freed up much more space than the storage they created. Tolerance towards near constant furniture rearranging may be required

Nomad86 · 17/08/2018 18:32

Until recently DS was in a box room, barely big enough for a single bed. We moved the wall between his and DD's room and now he has a good sized single. Much fairer and the house is more sellable now.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 17/08/2018 20:44

At the moment, the DC share the largest room but they have a lot of toys and DD plays up there while DS is downstairs so we felt it was the best use of a very big room. DH and I are in the 2nd bedroom (reasonable sized double) and the smallest room is an office.

Ultimately the DC will want separate bedrooms and if we can't afford a loft conversion, one will be in the smallest room (maybe 8ft x 6ft), one in the small double we're in now and DH and I will be back in the master bedroom (probably with the office desk in there too!).

boredmaman · 17/08/2018 20:46

It was tough, but I survived

You had your own (presumably warm, comfortable and safe) bedroom, it wasn't a tent in a Syrian refugee camp!!

Openup41 · 17/08/2018 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

MervynBunter · 17/08/2018 21:27

I was in the box room (small than a regulation police cell) until I left home at 22.

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