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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children in box room

87 replies

ionising · 17/08/2018 14:57

I have read discussions from parents about children sharing a room. Hiw many of you have children in a box room?

My dd is 10 and a loy of her friends have a huge double.

She asked to swop with me? Absolutely not!

My sister grew up in the box room. I had the double.
AIBU to feel bad? I know its a first world problem.

OP posts:
TwistedStitch · 17/08/2018 15:29

We have a 3 bed house, 2 doubles and a very small one. Currently DD (3) is in the smallest room which doesn't matter at the moment because she only uses it to sleep and most of her toys are downstairs. I do worry about the discrepancy though with her sibling having a much larger room as they get older. I've suggested to DP that we swap with her in a couple of years on the proviso that all her toys then go upstairs and we get the living room back! All we need is a bed and a TV.

MissP103 · 17/08/2018 15:29

I wouldnt swop. Theres some lovely ideas on pinterest for maximising the space. Cant post pics but I've seen one with a bunk bed style. The bunk bed is on top and the bottom is a desk area and a lovely bench so her friends have a space to sit. The rest of the room is then available to play.

DownAtFraggleRock · 17/08/2018 15:30

I always had the box room, older sister had the big 'spare' room. When we had guests she used to squeeze in with me.

It's just the way it was

big LOL that she asked to swap though

ImAGoofyGoober · 17/08/2018 15:33

I swapped between the smallest room (not quite a box room) and a double. Liked both equally but grew very paranoid that the smaller room was haunted to stuck to the double.

How much stuff does she have? I don’t think you should swap if you don’t want to. It’s you who pays the bills.

Original poster
ionising · 17/08/2018 15:34

She is cheeky. I don’t for one minute think she thought it would happen.

There are two of us and one of her.

She said she would love to share with her half sister in a big room but she lives with her mum.

OP posts:
placemats · 17/08/2018 15:35

I'm with FatTory

My room is just for sleeping in.

However, now one of my children has flown the nest my room will become her room for when she visits. Just haven't got round to it yet - I feel I need to leave a decent time.

EggysMom · 17/08/2018 15:36

My parents made sure that my brother and I took turns between the big spare room and the box-room, we spent about a year in each then swapped, another year and swapped back, and so on. Whoever had the spare room had to have the sofabed in that room also and would have to give the room up if we had guests; whereas the person in the box-room got to stay put.

We only have one DS, he's in the box-room just now, we built his Ikea bunkbeds in the room as there was no way of building them elsewhere and then wriggling them into the room! He sleeps on the bottom bunk and plays on the top bunk. Eventually he'll move to the large spare room and a double bed, but not for as long as we can get away with.

DailyMailFail101 · 17/08/2018 15:38

Have you got a big bathroom? in our last house we swapped the bathroom that was huge with the box room? a small Bathroom was hard to get used to at first but managed fine.

Pepper123123 · 17/08/2018 15:40

My ten year old DD is going to have to share the box room with DC2 due in Feb.

It's going to be a nightmare, especially because I use a wheelchair and can't get in the room at all.

BackInTime · 17/08/2018 15:42

One of my DCs is in the box room the other has the double. The only solution would be to move which neither of them are keen to do as the house and location is perfect in every other way.

bsbabas · 17/08/2018 15:44

As long as she has enough room to do home work and store her things

Hookedoncatnip · 17/08/2018 15:45

I had a box room until I moved out aged 25! I was actually quite fond of it.
My 2 DDs share a box room at the moment. It's a 3 bedroom house and the idea was that they would only really sleep in there. There's a 6 year age gap so that may bring issues sooner rather than later.
The middle room is currently used to house everyone's clothes and the overflow of toys and other things dumping ground It's probably not the best use of space but we plan to address this at some point in the distant future
Your DD is cheeky to suggest you swap with her because her friends have double rooms. I'd love for us all to have double rooms but It's just not possible.

RaspberryBeret34 · 17/08/2018 15:47

Haha at her asking to swap with you! I don't think there's anything wrong with a box room for a child and would remind her that at least she has her own space. In 6th form at boarding school and in halls at university, I had a room the equivalent size of a box room!

Having said that, I do remember how easy it is to feel hard done by age 10 so I'd be sympathetic and would help her make it feel cosy and special and work for her (if financially possible) with great storage etc.

fleshmarketclose · 17/08/2018 15:47

Ds and dd have larger rooms than I have but I have a small double.I reasoned that they spend a lot of time in theirs and I only sleep in mine.Whilst it has been warm though I have been sleeping in the spare bedroom downstairs which is a single bedroom and haven't found it a hardship tbf.

DN4GeekinDerby · 17/08/2018 15:53

My 14 and 6-year-old are in our box room and I don't see that changing any time soon. I do wish sometimes we could give them more space but that's true of a lot of things I'd like to give them that is just not in the cards for the foreseeable future.

Years ago, my spouse and I were in a box room while our kids had the bigger bedroom but that was back when we had very little and it made more sense for them to have more space to run around and play. Now we use quite a bit of our bigger bedroom to store our stuff that can't go in the rest of the house due to them and their things that are everywhere else.

BrokenWing · 17/08/2018 15:54

I shared the box room with my dsis until we were around 15, then when my brothers moved out we got our own rooms, sometimes it was the box room again. It wasn't a problem as we didn't have a lot of things and we weren't allowed friends in to visit. There was enough room for a single bed, 1 dressing table with 2 large drawers for clothes and my record player on top. Whoever was studying (and needed a desk) got the bigger room.

ds(14) has an okay size room (only child so our box room is empty) which means he can have friends (up to 10!) over visiting or he can squeeze 3-5 friends in for a sleepover which could never happen in a box room.

If she wants a bigger room for sleepovers can she use your room or camp out in the living room?

SoozC · 17/08/2018 15:56

I had the box room until I was about 12-13 years old. It wasn't even big enough to allow a door to open/close, so I had a curtain instead! Then we had an extension built and my room was a much more reasonable size. You do get used to it, although I did have to hang clothes in a wardrobe in another room (can't remember if my parents' or my brother's) and have toys/possessions out on the landing.

Loonoon · 17/08/2018 15:58

My DD had the box room in our three bed house until we moved when she was 14. We did it up nicely with (then trendy) lilac and silver wall paper, a built in bed with a desk underneath, matching accessories, bookshelves etc. It was like a very girly ships cabin. One of my proudest moments was when a girl from her class (very rich family, pony, ensuite bedroom etc) walked in and burst out “oh I wish I had a room like this!’

When we moved she had a much bigger double room that she liked and she really appreciated the extra space but now she is grown up she often reminisces about her little box room where she could lie in her high bed and look out at the stars.

MirriVan · 17/08/2018 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DownAtFraggleRock · 17/08/2018 16:02

Actually... when Dsis moved out mum turned her room into the official guest room and I stayed in the box room till I moved out at 21!

Mum and Dad then had a study Grin

FooFighter99 · 17/08/2018 16:03

I grew up in the box room, I could touch the walls width ways (I'm 6ft!) but it wasn't that much of a hardship - I did end up keeping some clothes in my mum's wardrobe as I got older and sleepovers where a no-go (I did have one when I was about 13 but we all slept on the living room floor!!)

It's not the end of the world but when DH and I get round to buying a house, I won't want DD to have to grow up in the box room...

Oblomov18 · 17/08/2018 16:04

Many houses have a box room. All the ones built round here do.
Ds2 has the box room. its got enough for a single bed, a 3 door wardrobe, a chest of drawers and about 1 metre to walk round all of that.
It will have to do. Because we cant afford to move. You cant get any better than what we've got unless you pay another 100k.

Children grow up damaged/ resentful of having been given the box room? Oh purlease. How entitled!! Angry

notdaddycool · 17/08/2018 16:10

I think box room is just fine, but do think about how it can be furnished to make best use of all space, would a raised sleeper help? Maybe also let the child decorate it so it's their own. Even if you spend a few hundred it's much less than moving/extending.

cloudyweewee · 17/08/2018 16:15

I grew up in a 3 bedroom house. Mum and dad had the biggest room, I shared with my sister, and my brother had no option but to sleep in the box room even though he was the oldest.

Grasslands · 17/08/2018 16:21

I love the cozy feel of a box room. Love hoe easily it can be decorated.