My dad said I should train my baby

[NotSoThinLizzy]

So visting mum and dad having dinner and wee one is grizzly and gurning about dinner he's 11 months. And according to my dad I need to walk away everytime he cries and only go back to him when he stops and continue like that every day all day not even for sleep training like surely it's not me that thinks that's OTT. I bitched at him saying no wonder all his kids are fucked up said quite calmly

This is very old school (old harsh school!) and at the end of the day he can give his opinion but it's your decision how you raise your child

No no no!
He is tiny. He is not manipulating you. Every time you respond to your baby it helps their brain develop - as adults this helps them form healthy relationships, have empathy, self-worth.
Your Dad is talking rubbish!!

My response would have been the same as yours

Oh don't get me started on the old school parenting he did with me

Well that just shows he knows fuck all doesn’t it.

YANBU. don't take parenting advice off him

Was I a bit to nasty in my response though? It'll prop cause a couple of days of amnesty

Good grief, your baby is not a dog. That is some of the strangest parenting advice I've ever heard.

Walk away from your dad each time he makes these wanky remarks and only go back when he stops

Hidillyho

If you want scientific proof of why he’s wrong, have a look at the difference between these brain scans of a child that has a loving responsive parent, and a child that doesn’t. It’s heartbreaking.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/winteryknight.com/2013/12/12/study-brain-of-child-neglected-by-mother-is-smaller-and-underdeveloped/amp/?source=images

Fil was quite good at doling out random parenting advice, despite freely admitting Mil did all the caring and he was working all day. Best to just ignore.

FiL gave similar baby care advice 'You need to break their spirit. Like a young colt'. His adult DCs fell about laughing. Unfortunately it sounds as if you have a tense relationship with your father, so maybe a firm word that you would like him to stop giving childcare advice please as his ideas are out of date.

😂 oh I wish I thought of that. A couple of days ago baby fell and caught his bum on the corner if fire place and dad said it was my fault. He just constantly puts me down. Wonders why I moved out at 16 🙄

No I'd say your response was pretty accurate OP. Ok so if he doesn't like it well you didn't like his advice so you're quits. Don't pander to this nonsense.

Reminded me of the NSPCC 'advert' with the small child in the cot.
Can't remember what the child was named, but along the lines of "Billy is a quiet child, he never cries, because he's learned that nobody comes if he does."

Just cut down contact with him. He doesn't sound like a positive influence in your life.

Very dated parenting advice. Hug and respond to your baby you know what's best. Your dad sound toxic

*Today 20:25 Hidillyho

Walk away from your dad each time he makes these wanky remarks and only go back when he stops

^^THIS! SO much This!! That is the best advice ever

That advert makes me cry even just thinking about it. I remember being little about 6 and mum was out. I fell off my bike and rather than cry I hid so he didn't see me crying

FadedRed my MIL told me that her babies were wheeled to the bottom of the garden for “fresh air” and left there for up to ten hours a day apart from feeding. But didn’t they cry? I asked. “They soon stop when they realise nobody’s coming...” she answered

I hate this. A friend's mum said (about her grandchild whom she was fostering after he had been removed from mum and Dad had gone haywire) that she had ignored the 1 yr old when he cried in the mornings to show him she wasn't coming running whenever he cries. I found it heart breaking that she was essentially teaching him that after loosing his parents and family, she wasn't going to be there for him when he needed her either.

Miles. Baby’s name was mikes and I still think of that advent so sadly.

You can’t spoil with cuddles and response.

String You've given me a good laugh reading that blog. Oh my goodness me.

hiding our HEALTH VISITOR told us to do that eight years back! “You don’t want to teach him that every time he cries, Mum and Dad will come running.” He was around 4-6 months old at the time 😧. And that was exactly what we DID want to teach him! We ignored her.