To worry about my high school age kids wanting to do f*ck all in holidays

[Wimbledonwomble]

Well, not quite f all .....

We were away for the 1st 2 weeks then DC1 has literally spent the last 2.5 weeks on the sofa playing x box/watching YouTube, has no plans and doesn't want to make any. However, he is very introverted, has few friends so I don't push him out of his comfort zone.

DC2 is much more outgoing and has a lot of friends but, apart from a birthday outing with some of them and another planned in a couple if weeks, she doesn't seem interested either. I gather there have been a few whatsapp chats about meeting up but she's either ignored them or claimed she's busy. This is the first year I've comfortably been able to leave them both home alone while I work and she seems to be relishing the opportunity to doss in her room! I've asked if she's bored or lonely and she's assured me she's happy doing nothing! She is booked into a holiday club next week but she'd sooner not go I suspect!

We have planned at least one outing a week on the days I don't work so they are doing SOMETHING just nothing with friends.

Is this normal? Should I stop feeling guilty? In the past I'd plan lots of stuff for them - outings with me or holiday clubs when working but they have mostly outgrown all that and don't require childcare, so .....

YABU, it’s very normal.

I remember wanting to spend the whole six weeks reading. I used to resent dm's suggestions that I go out and get some fresh air/meet friends /have fun. Other than trips to the library I didn't want to go anywhere. I tend to let mine do as they choose and for them it seems to mean screens/books/sleep.

To be fair, they've been away on holiday and you arrange something for the days you're off, so they're not really doing nothing the entire time.

Mine are younger, but even then they need days at home doing bugger all and entertaining themselves. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I just go with it. We have busy days when I'm off work, so having a few days just chilling out at home is nothing.

YANBU. We remember those long lazy summers, but it was significantly different then. What we did to fill our time helped keep our brains alert - reading, writing, drawing, wandering round town, teaching ourselves how to play an instrument or mend a bike. These days they are in PJs on screens all day. It's addictive and they need a jog out of it. I'm not against screen time. My DC have way more of it than is recommended. They can have as much as they like as long as they also do stuff that balances out the vegging.

DS2 is introverted and would have spent all summer in PJs on screens since GCSEs ended. He did 2 weeks busy work experience, is on holiday with us for two weeks and I signed him up for a music camp. He was meh about being signed up, happy to chill all day. But now he's there, it's the most fun he;s had all summer. He's going out after class with the other students for food and chatting about going to gigs and setting up a band.

I think they need our help at this age, to be jogged out of their passivity. My DDad kicked us out of the house when we were 13 & 14, vegging in PJs all weekend every weekend, and made us join a local club. Best thing he ever did. It changed my life in unbelievable ways.