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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my daughter is not a whimp

47 replies

Cath2907 · 15/08/2018 10:17

DD is having a sleep over with her friend. She was dropped off yesterday and slept ok but is tearful this morning and needs picking up. I am working, DH is not so have asked him to go collect her. He is disappointed at not getting a day free and has huffed off muttering about DD being "such a wimp". She is 7. AIBU in thinking this is not wimpy - it is normal for a 7 year old to sometimes find being away from home tough. she has slept over at family houses before but this is the first non-family sleep over.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 15/08/2018 10:18

He's just pissed off that he's lost his free day.

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2018 10:19

Yeah he's just annoyed he actually has to care for his child

SisterNotCisTerf · 15/08/2018 10:20

Perfectly normal for a 7 year old. He’s being a knob.

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 15/08/2018 10:27

I'd be pissed off too. Why isn't he allowed to be pissed off that his free day is no longer a free day? She's not injured, or sick, in pain or in danger. If he didn't go and pick her up, chances are she'd get over it and be fine.

Sassy306 · 15/08/2018 10:33

Of course your daughter is not a wimp but...your husband is not being totally unreasonable to be slightly miffed at not having the time to himself he thought he was getting but he could have handled it better.

inquiquotiokixul · 15/08/2018 10:33

Have I been doing sleepovers wrong? I've never expected them to last for more than 5pm before and 10am after the night of sleep - is staying all day expected?

SisterNotCisTerf · 15/08/2018 10:34

He’s a parent, life with kids doesn’t always go to plan. Christ if I got in a hump and started namecalling my kids everytime something didn’t go to plan, ruining my plans, I would have a huge therapy bill to try and reverse the years of self esteem bashing! It’s life with kids! You age to accept you don’t always get to have your day to yourself.

apriljune12 · 15/08/2018 10:37

In my opinion 7 is too young for sleepovers and your dh sounds a grumpy sod.

Flippetydip · 15/08/2018 10:46

She's not a wimp, she's probably exhausted - I bloody HATE sleepovers with a passion. They ruin the next day as everyone is so tired, even if they get to bed at a reasonable time it seems to take it out of them.

I'd be pissed off if I'd be expecting a child-free day too but that's the joys of parenthood, you just have to suck it up.

BewareOfDragons · 15/08/2018 10:51

She's probably tired and just ready to come home. And, it was a sleepover ... unless there were specific plans for her to spend the day at her friend's house as well, then sleepovers generally end in the morning anyway!

TheFaerieQueene · 15/08/2018 10:53

I would be wondering what he had planned for today because that reaction is completely unacceptable.

Original poster
Cath2907 · 15/08/2018 10:53

To be honest I thought the idea that she'd stay all day was a bit ambitious but if she'd been enjoying herself I'd have been fine with it.
Yes DH is being a grumpy twat badger this holiday. He is supposed to be the SAHP and I work full time from home but is obviously not enjoying it. Much more of this teenage stropping and I am going to be giving him a firm kick in the cock. (Not literally - I do not condone violence even when it is firmly deserved).

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 15/08/2018 10:56

He shouldn't be an arse about it, but when I was a saps I would have been soooooo disappointed if I had a child free day that was suddenly cancelled! I might well have cried.

Elephant14 · 15/08/2018 10:59

Are you seriously expecting this man to care for his own child? When he was promised a nice day off? Jesus OP. What are you like ... Hmm

I might think oh that's awkward as I wanted to do x y and z but I'd be entirely happy my own child is going to be with me for day. Some people are just like that, they are often called parents.

gamerchick · 15/08/2018 11:02

Ah he's allowed to be disappointed, really it's his own fault (and yours) for expecting the sleepover to last the next day. I've never known it, they're always have gone home by lunchtime at the latest

BlackeyedSusan · 15/08/2018 11:02

Think himself lucky. I have a child who can't wait the other side of the waiting room without getting scared and they are considerably older. Tho this is better than the younger one who has no fear and walks/runs off on their own

IceCreamFace · 15/08/2018 11:07

Perfectly normal. My eldest is 7 and lots of sleepovers still have to be aborted (sometimes in the middle of the night!) at this age so she did well to get to the morning. Even if she was 12, she's obviously genuinely upset so he needs to go get her whether or not an average child would be upset is irrelevant.

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2018 11:09

"Some people are just like that, they are often called parents."

Some people would be really disappointed if a day off they had planned and were looking forward to was suddenly cancelled at very short notice. They are often called humans.

Uzicorn · 15/08/2018 11:11

I had a sleepover at a similar age and I remember it didn't feel right.

The mum asked me a few times if I was sure I would be ok staying the night. Also the parents argued.

I felt uncomfortable and asked to be takn home.

ArmySal · 15/08/2018 11:14

I’m evil, obviously. I’d have hated having what I thought was a day off ‘ruined’.

SisterNotCisTerf · 15/08/2018 11:16

If he’s a SAHP of one school age child then it’s not like he never gets a break, school holidays only started 4-6 weeks ago (depending on where OP lives) with only a couple of weeks left to go.

Cheby · 15/08/2018 11:19

He’s allowed to be miffed. He’s not allowed to start calling a 7 year old child names as a result. That’s totally out of order.

beeefcake · 15/08/2018 11:22

Oh ffs. My parents were constantly on call to come and get me from sleepovers, usually in the middle of the night. At least she slept through!!!

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2018 11:24

Well obviousky he mustn't call her a wimp to her face. Did he do that?

Confusedbeetle · 15/08/2018 11:26

I think sleep overs are a terrible idea especially for a 7 yr old, poor child