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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the ‘dad bod’ is ridiculous and a double standard?

47 replies

Chem17 · 14/08/2018 22:50

There’s no equivalent of a ‘mum bod’ - I know dh wouldn’t be happy if I got a beer belly, so why is it ok for men to let themselves go?

AIBU to think this?

OP posts:
NorthenderNamechanger · 14/08/2018 23:09

I thought dad-bod was just a realistic male body with less muscles and a bit more fat than the ripped men of films and magazines. Not full on beer gut? Happy to be corrected though.

Noqont · 14/08/2018 23:13

Not sure. Dp is quite happy with my beer belly. As I am with his 'dad bod'. I guess anyone who kept themselves super fit as a lifestyle thing might not be happy with a partner that was the opposite though. Whether they were male or female.

mummabearfourbabybears · 14/08/2018 23:17

And if there was a 'mum bod' everyone would go mad about the body shaming of women Hmm

MissusGeneHunt · 14/08/2018 23:20

I thought the whole point these days is that women can appear as they please? I bloody do, 14 year old c-section tummy and all!!

Poppy123xyz · 14/08/2018 23:30

I thought dadbod was an insult? I certainly think 'let themselves go' and it's a euphemism for unattractive when I hear that term.

Poptart4 · 14/08/2018 23:31

Women are constantly criticised and judged for their looks. Just open any magazine or tabloid and there will be an article on a celeb being too fat/too skinny. Or so & so lost her baby weight in 10.2 seconds!!

Men are in no way judged as harshly as women are. If dad bod is the worst men are called then they are getting off easy in comparison.

Personally i dont think its right to comment on anyone's personal appearance. Live and let live.

SwimmingKaren · 14/08/2018 23:42

I quite like a Dad bod which I take to mean the ex rugby player type of physique, still strong but looks like someone who enjoys a bacon sandwich or two these days? But agree it’s not fair, maintaining a dadbod seems like much less work than staving off the Mumbod equivalent. Angry

Walkingdeadfangirl · 14/08/2018 23:56

Isn't MILF the equivalent of Dadbod?

Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 23:59

walking I wouldn’t say it is unless I have it wrong? MILF is a “sexy” lady and dadbod has a paunch or beer belly.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 15/08/2018 00:20

Oh sorry Nicknacky, I thought Dadbod was sexy even though they were in their 40's, a dad and still had some sex appeal. I guess women get the more complimentary names then Wink

joinUsAgain · 15/08/2018 01:33

How do you define "let themselves go"?

justilou1 · 15/08/2018 07:22

Yeah - when my twin overhang (which looks like a giant, freshly-waxed scrotum, imo) becomes a desirable thing, I’ll buy into the Dad Bod thing...

parrotonmyshoulder · 15/08/2018 07:24

How can you think ‘MILF’ is complimentary? It’s disgusting!

Original poster
Chem17 · 15/08/2018 08:08

I suppose the point was about men being judged far less harshly for their weight than women. I have to work very hard to keep my weight in check, if I don’t then I’m overweight. Whereas dh can grow a paunch and it’s just a ‘dad bod’ which is supposed to be attractive.

Also I thought ‘dad bod’ was a small pot belly on a generally fit-ish man. Might be wrong though?

OP posts:
drivingmisspotty · 15/08/2018 08:15

Dad bod: www.thethings.com/15-celebs-who-are-totally-rocking-the-dadbod/

Seems to me like a muscly toned body with a thin covering of fat. Much like my six pack. It is under there somewhere waiting to get out Grin

MandalaYogaTapestry · 15/08/2018 08:15

Dadbod is not attractive. You just accept it.

CasperGutman · 15/08/2018 08:16

As a dad, I thought a "dad bod" was any kind of real body that doesn't look like you visit the gym every day. It could be a bit tubby, or just not ripped like a Men's Health cover model.

I never thought a dad bod was supposed to be sexy. The point of the dad bod memes I've seen doing the rounds seemed to be to "reclaim" the dad bod and point out the upsides of being (or being with) someone a bit more low-maintenance.

drivingmisspotty · 15/08/2018 08:19

I’m not sure if I agree with you or not OP. The men in the link look like they have prett average bodies. Similar pics of women could appear in heat etc with ‘Shelley: I am embracing my curves and loving my body’ type headlines. And then 3 months later as ‘before’ pics for ‘Shelley sheds the pounds read how inside!’

It’s all pretty screwed up and yes there is a big double standard between men and women but it would be much better if we just stopped commenting on each other’s bodies all together, it wish men had a similar level of scrutiny.

drivingmisspotty · 15/08/2018 08:20

*instead of wishing men had a similar level of scrutiny

MinaPaws · 15/08/2018 08:20

There's definitely a mum-bod equivalent. Bit chubbier around the thighs that before, slightly sagging belly and boobs due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, but men still insist those bodies are sexy and it's only us who judge them. Different from being unhealthily overweight.

SoyDora · 15/08/2018 08:21

Ive never heard ‘dad bod’ as a compliment.

CasperGutman · 15/08/2018 08:21

Seems to me like a muscly toned body with a thin covering of fat.

That's not the definition of a dad bod. It's just what hunky celeb men who've had kids and aren't specifically in training for a role look like.

Similar celeb articles about women who've "let themselves go" also show bodies that are fundamentally fine but just with the tiniest bit of fat on them somewhere.

SlartiAardvark · 15/08/2018 08:28

Men are less bothered overall about their bodies than women, plus the "dad bod" has the advantage of:

A - being easily achievable.
B - They probably already own one.
C - Women don't mind.

To be fair, a goodly amount of the women I know in my age bracket have a belly and aren't bothered. I think there's a perception that all women have great bodies - have a look at your average hen night, it's not true, it's a media tale...

TheNavigator · 15/08/2018 08:34

I think 'dadbod' for men it the equivalent of 'curves' for women - it just means they don't the gym honed Hollywood 'ideal'. Just like 'curves', dadbod seems to be used for a fitty with a normal, non-chiselled body and a fat lump, so we are all picturing something a bit different when we use those terms.

SchrodingersMeowth · 15/08/2018 08:37

I hate my DPs body and unlike me, he doesn’t really feel inclined to make himself look any better, which is annoying.

Although he’s a bit past “dad bod”. Angry

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