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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I had an awful job interview today and I am bereft - AIBU to ask for your perspective?

93 replies

RubyWho · 14/08/2018 18:28

Interviewed for an executive manager role today, was invited to apply for the role (ie we have this coming up, we think you’d be a good fit, apply!)

I was more nervous than I usually am and some of my answers were subject to cross examining. No other word for it, exact phrase was “you said earlier “x y z. Why?” I felt stuck and lost and I’m really scared that I fucked this very badly up. I don’t know what came over me.

I am sad. I thought I’d have this in the bag? I did preface by saying “I apologise in advance, I’m incredibly nervous”.

Has anyone had a disasterous interview that turned out well in the end?

OP posts:
Dancetherain · 14/08/2018 19:30

I had an awful interview a few weeks ago. I'm trying to get back into work after 11 years out raising kids and was so nervous I felt like I babbled. I left intending to put it down as an experience and maybe next time will go better.

Imagine my surprise when they rang later that day to offer me the job! Now I'm just really nervous about going back to work.

I hope it turns out well for you.

Original poster
RubyWho · 14/08/2018 19:33

@statisticallychallenged
Not to out myself, (paranoid) but I’ve got two post grad legal quals and this was like the court room simulations we used to have, but worse. shudder

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 14/08/2018 19:40

Different field but sounds like the same kind of vibe! I came out of it, phoned DH and went "well, no way did I get that it was fucking awful"

2 days later they offered me an almost 30% payrise...so don't give up on yourself yet

Bigkingdom · 14/08/2018 19:42

I bet it didn’t go as awful as you think.

I once had an interview for a role i had studied at uni for. I thought it went terrible, felt like i had forgot everything i had learned. When they called me a few days later i was sure it was because they were going to give me feedback on how awful i had been. The lady on the phone (my boss) asked how i thought the interview had gone, i was honest and reeled off where i thought i had gone wrong, she then says “thats funny as we thought you were the perfect candidate!” Blush I was offered the job.

Think positive, whats done is done. If you don’t get the role at least you can prepare better for next time.

Inevereverwanttogohome · 14/08/2018 19:49

I really love my current job. When I went for the interview I met some of the team and thought they were lovely, so was really upset when I thought I had flunked the interviewed. I immediately deleted all emails relating to the post, and resigned myself to the no call, kicking mysef for not doing a better job at interview as it felt right. I was delighted to get a call later that day offeing me the job. The feedback was that they could tell I was nervous, but I answered all the questions which is what they wanted.

Good luck OP, I hope you get the call you want x

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 19:49

I wouldn't mind someone admitting nervousness.

Some places like a more combative style of interviewing and this sounded like an example of that. Maybe that indicates what type of company they are and you might not like the fit?

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/08/2018 19:51

What's done is done. In an attempt to put a positive spin on it, maybe it wasn't all your fault. Unless they are specifically recruiting you for a very high pressure role, the interviewers shouldn't be making it feel like a Guantanamo interrogation. Maybe they fucked up, not you.

NicoAndTheNiners · 14/08/2018 19:54

I think that being slightly nervous could show how much you want the job, no? That it’s a big deal/means a lot to you?

annandale · 14/08/2018 19:56

I had a comically awful interview about 18 months ago. It was so bad I nearly said about ten minutes in 'shall we just stop, I'm actually mystified why you shortlisted me'. Anyway we had to drag endlessly through it. They promised they would let me know but didn't - I certainly didn't ask for feedback. After only ten months, I could walk down the corridor of the interview room without breaking out intervention a cold sweat. It helps that in fact, I'm so so grateful that I didn't by some appalling fluke get the job as I couldn't have done it. Whereas clearly you could. Interested to hear an update...

Cadsuane · 14/08/2018 20:02

My Dh had to do a written evaluation after an interview and skills test for a Civil Service job. He actually wrote "I couldn't have fucked it up more if I'd tried"...and he got the job!

akerman · 14/08/2018 20:03

I had an awful interview for promotion in November. I talked myself down, and presented myself at the grade I was at rather than the grade I wanted to be at. But there was enough on my CV for them to take it further, so they did by the skin of my teeth and I ended up with the promotion.

Original poster
RubyWho · 14/08/2018 20:05

@Nicoandtheniners it's fairly obvious that I want this job more than anything I've ever wanted. They didn't even have to ask 'if offered this role would you take it?'
I think that's why I was so nervous - I'd already seen what the management and development structure was like, and the job is exactly what I want. The interview panel member who I'd been liaising with for a long time could clearly tell, and knows this - I hope it came across to the other Panel members. I really couldn't read them.

OP posts:
claireblueskies · 14/08/2018 20:13

I screwed up the technical test for my current job. Not only did they offer me the job, but they also went one step further and made me head of department. To clarify, I'm not a complete idiot, but I'm not used to working on paper and didn't get through enough of the test fast enough (it wasn't wrong, just incomplete).

You never know.

Keeping fingers crossed for you!

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/08/2018 20:15

Why is it “bad” to admit nerves? Because you're saying "I'm expecting to do badly in this interview" and setting them up to notice instances of you doing badly.

It's similar to "confirmation bias" which as an interviewer you know to guard against - looking for evidence to back up your first impression of the candidate, whether good or bad.

Tinkobell · 14/08/2018 20:15

One would hope that they will decide based on actual fit for the role rather than a wobbly interview performance. Let it go now OP.

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/08/2018 20:18

I think you should take courage from the fact they were "cross examining" you. It's hard to get up the energy to do that once someone has revealed themselves to be a weak candidate - you tend to give them an easy ride and let them out of the interview as soon as you can. Whereas with a strong candidate you see how far you can push them, give them the opportunity to show their full strengths.

ConkerTriumphant · 14/08/2018 20:26

How long until you’ll hear anything, do you know?

Original poster
RubyWho · 14/08/2018 20:33

@ConkerTriumphant - Thursday or Friday at the latest. I am on leave from work this week, so if it's bad news I can wallow and lick my wounds ready to go back to work with my game face on next week. At least then A) I will get some good, developmental feedback, and B) Will have an amusing/cringeworthy story to tell.

OP posts:
InfiniteVariety · 14/08/2018 20:36

In the interview for my first job aged 22 at a very famous girls' school I did everything wrong, including interrupting the Head mid-question to exclaim delightedly because her cat was rubbing round my ankles (I then reached down and picked him up).
Unaccountably, I got the job

Original poster
RubyWho · 14/08/2018 20:37

If there is a cat in the room, all decorum and sense goes out of the window. You were entirely correct and just in your actions.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/08/2018 20:40

MereDint just beat me to what I was going to say. Faced with a duff candidate it's more usual IME to "go through the motions" and move onto the next, rather than waste time asking for expansions on replies - and anyway it seems you handled that well

Ditto asking them about membership of the organisation, which I'd hope would mark you out as someone who'll look for opportunities to help them develop (providing you didn't say "what numpty failed to think of this?" of course!! Wink)

Anyway, don't forget to let us know the result ...

InfiniteVariety · 14/08/2018 20:41

Yes RubyWho it would seem so! The interview from that point became mainly a conversation about the cat, including a witty little Classics joke about his name (anyone who attended this school will recognise all of this!) which I duly laughed at.... perhaps that nailed it?

Rosemary46 · 14/08/2018 20:43

@Nicoandtheniners it's fairly obvious that I want this job more than anything I've ever wanted. They didn't even have to ask 'if offered this role would you take it?'

I interview for senior positions and I’d never ask that. It’s a waste of time as everyone says yes .

EmeraldVillage · 14/08/2018 20:45

If this is a pretty senior role then you should expect your answers to be challenged. Because you need to be able to stand up to questioning in the job. Doesn’t mean they disagree with what you say but want to see how you deal with challenge.

LyndorCake · 14/08/2018 20:51

OP if it makes you feel better, I once massively fucked up an interview years ago and I still hear about it now.
Basically I hated my job, got this interview at a university which was several steps above where I was, significant pay rise, so exciting. I planned how I would hand my notice in, spent loads of time and effort buying a new outfit. So excited. Turns out I had read the email wrong. I thought it said "there will be a 20 minute presentation blah blah blah" what it actually said was "you will give a 20 minutes presentation blah blah blah".
Well I nailed part of the interview until the "handed it over to me" and I realised my fuck up. Did I admit my mistake? Course not. I decided to wing it. Totally made it up. Used the flip chart to draw illustrations to back me up. All the other candidates had full on power point presentations. So embarrassing.
So I didn't get the job but not long after I met the person who did and when I met her, I mentioned that I had interviewed for that job and she said "oh you're not the person who drew pictures are you?" And burst out laughing. Apparently it's now a cautionary tale that the university use when prepping students for the real world.