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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 11 years old is too old for a bedtime story?

121 replies

Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:24

I have a feeling that DC is trying to stay up late and wants a story read to them in bed!

OH thinks there should be no age limit, I believe it’s too old and should stop at around 7yo?

I just want to know what other people think.

OP posts:
Backstabbath · 14/08/2018 18:25

No age limit. One day they won't want one and that'll be it, gone forever

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/08/2018 18:25

I’d indulge it I think. Limit the time spent on it though. Quite a nice one to one quiet time.

GoblinSharts · 14/08/2018 18:26

I’d be encouraging any love of reading. If you think it’s to stay up late then just have a set amount of pages of a book to read each night. Or tell her bedtime is 10mins earlier to accommodate it. It’s nice having people read to you.

newplacenofriends · 14/08/2018 18:26

you'll miss it when they don't want one anymore

BounceAndJump · 14/08/2018 18:26

I'd carry on as long as possible, just start 20 minutes before bedtime if you think it's to stay up late.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 14/08/2018 18:26

I don’t think there should be a limit.

I still read to my 9 year olds as they’re nowhere near ready to read to themselves. I still read myself to sleep at the end of the day so don’t see why it would be different for older children.

If they’re taking the piss at bedtime then go up earlier to fit in the story Wink

Goth237 · 14/08/2018 18:26

I think imagination should be nurtured in children of all ages and personally I agree with your OH. Just have the story time earlier, if you're worried about the lateness. Too many children these days don't even want to have anything to do with books, and I think that's tragic.

serbska · 14/08/2018 18:27

Disagree.

I have fond memories of my mother reading to me when I was about that age, and my youngest teen still likes a snuggle and a chapter of a book. It’s a nice one on one time.

flyingsaucersherbet · 14/08/2018 18:27

Absolutely no age limit - just start bedtime 15 mins earlier. 7 seems incredibly young to stop though, they are still wee at that point. You are Missing out on loads of snuggles!

DelurkingAJ · 14/08/2018 18:27

My DParents read to us until we were going to bed later than they were. I think it’s wonderful and should be encouraged, can you just start bedtime earlier?

AmabelleOnabike · 14/08/2018 18:28

No age limit. I sometimes read to my 16 year old to get her started on a book (which is competing with social media and Netflix) which works for us. I always read to my ten year old. My only rule is I must start reading by 9pm. Any time after that is too late for my reading voice to be out Grin

TotHappy · 14/08/2018 18:28

Definitely no cut off - let her have it!! Go up earlier to accommodate it and if she loses interest next time, you'll know you were right.

But it is nice being read to.

KitchenDancefloor · 14/08/2018 18:28

How lovely that they want to spend this time with you, it may not last too much longer so make the most of it.

I still read to my 11 year old and it's then that I hear about how she really feels, what's worrying her, friend issues etc. It's such precious time and I'll always prioritise it as long as she wants my time.

IfNotNowThenWhen1 · 14/08/2018 18:28

Of course there's no age limit! As long as they want a story it's lovely. And, it gives you the chance to read much more interesting things.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 14/08/2018 18:28

YABU beyond belief.

I read do DS1 still and he'll be 13 in a few weeks. We'll stop whenever he asks to stop; til then I'll read to him and tuck him in nightly.

As prolonged and draining as wrestling small children into their beds can be, I've always tried to hold on to the fact that for them it's their time to let go of everything they've held onto through the day, so if they want to chat for ten minutes I listen quietly and give them advice if they need it. It's ten minutes of my life, it's nothing. But for them, being heard, having you to themselves for that short time, it can make a difference.

AdelaideK · 14/08/2018 18:29

Mines 11 and I still read to him. Not every night but a few times a week. I'll only stop when he wants me to. Why are you putting an age limit on it?

BlueBug45 · 14/08/2018 18:29

The only age limit I read years ago was 12. I think that was more to do with the fact that around that age children decide they want a later bedtime and also don't want to be read to.

AEJS · 14/08/2018 18:29

I was still reading to my DD aged 11. Along with my younger DS we read books we would all enjoy such as the Harry Potter series. It was such a special time of day. A good way to reconnect after a crazy day. Now she is almost 15, it’s probably 3 years since we read together and I still miss it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/08/2018 18:29

I don’t think there’s a limit. My DSC love a bedtime story. Sometimes these days it’s facts from a history book or world records, often a book they’ve had for years and years that’s written for much younger DC but when they’re sleepy they love something easy and familiar. It’s a lovely time, rounds up the day, interspersed with chatting about all sorts.

I’m well aware one day they won’t be bothered and I miss it already, sappy but true Grin

Verbena87 · 14/08/2018 18:29

My folks read to us until we went into separate rooms at 13 and 11. We’re now both avid bookworms despite one of us having severe dyslexia, and both read to our own kids from birth as we have really fond memories of being read to.

I’d carry on. It might be a ploy for a later bedtime but does 10 mins reading really matter? And can you and DP take turns so you’re not stuck with reading every night if you’re finding it a pain (choose the right book though and everyone will be sat there at bedtime to see what happens!)

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 14/08/2018 18:29

No it’s not too old. You don’t have to call it a bedtime story, do you. Just sharing a chapter or two of a book with your child, and spending a little time with them every day.

It’s actually a very good way of keeping the lines of communication open as children become pre teens and/or young teens, and you can start to introduce more complex books/series and, from there, find all kinds of very interesting or important things to talk about.

upsideup · 14/08/2018 18:30

The age limit is when your child no longer wants a bedtime story.
Why would you want to stop providing simple support and comfort that your children are asking for when they turn 7?

TeacupDrama · 14/08/2018 18:30

my 8 year old would struggle with some long chapter books 200 + pages and would lose the enjoyment; often once a really fluent reader they want to read themselves, I adjust bedtime though if she is late I read just 2-3 pages if early 1-2 chapters standard is 1 chapter approx 10-15 pages
despite most MN child reading harry potter by 7 in RL very few 8-9 years old could read it easily, most could read a few pages but it would be hard work

DunesOfSand · 14/08/2018 18:30

Keep going!
My 9 year old activly asks to be read to (bed time stories a bit hit and miss currently, as he is sharing with his brother, and they go to bed at different times)

MissusGeneHunt · 14/08/2018 18:30

I think it's a lovely thing to do. Sporadically I read to DS who is nearly 14. It's special bonding time, irrespective of what you read. There is no age limit to being read to. I love audio books!!!