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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 11 years old is too old for a bedtime story?

121 replies

Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:24

I have a feeling that DC is trying to stay up late and wants a story read to them in bed!

OH thinks there should be no age limit, I believe it’s too old and should stop at around 7yo?

I just want to know what other people think.

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 14/08/2018 18:30

also DD is more likely to tell me what happened at school at bedtime rather than 3.30pm

HardAsSnails · 14/08/2018 18:31

No age limit. Many adults love to be read to too! It's a good way to introduce books that kids might not otherwise read or that raise issues you can discuss as you go, or just laugh along together.

Viola82 · 14/08/2018 18:31

7 sounds reasonable.
11y old should be reading books on her own..

SilverHairedCat · 14/08/2018 18:32

I'm 37 and I wish someone would read to me. 😂 I love audio books, but it's just so impersonal.

Enjoy the one to one time while you can. I'm loving that people here are even getting to do this with their teenagers. 💕

Knitjob · 14/08/2018 18:32

I read to my 11 and 12 yr olds every night. I will be really sad when it stops.
It does get harder to find books everyone is interested in but we manage.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/08/2018 18:32

Mine read to themselves loads and have done for a while but bedtime is different and it’s a quiet communal time.

Littlebluebird123 · 14/08/2018 18:33

I would say as long as they want it then no limit. Even if they're angling to stay up, maybe it's because they want time with you.
Special one on one time and a love of reading are such good things.

My favourite memories of my dad are the stories he made up for us at bedtime. I don't remember when they ended but I know he'd still do it now if I asked (and I'm 40)!

Original poster
Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:33

I could do but DC is an expert negotiator!

She will be allowed to stay up an extra half an hour to watch the simpsons or something like that and then when she goes up does her teeth gets settled in will then ask her dad for a story.

I’m like you had a choice Simpson’s or story and you choose the simpsons! But the OH reads the story as well!

Guess I’m a bit more firm with her and the OH is a little bit more easy going! Lol xx

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foxtiger · 14/08/2018 18:33

I think it's rather nice. I didn't usually get one at that age, but once when I was even older (I'd guess about 14), my mum usually read to my brother and for some reason he didn't want a story one night so I persuaded her to read to me instead. I could read just fine myself, but there was something lovely about listening to my mum read it (it was a historical novel by Norah Lofts). She used to do voices and everything. If your DD is happy with it, I think it's a nice way of connecting.

keyboardkate · 14/08/2018 18:34

I used to get my 12yr old niece to read HER favourite books to ME! (when watching her overnight).

That was hilarious. I will never forget the books she introduced me to.

TBH I doubt she would have liked me to read to her at all. But her parents and I did when she was younger, then she found her own way with books.

With all the tablets and instagram and FB and so on, books are not really on some kid's radar anymore. Every little bit helps though.

JellySlice · 14/08/2018 18:35

You're never too old for a bedtime story. FGS relish the connection, relish the fact that they want this time with you, that they still want to share books with you.

BTW, dh used to read to me in bed when I was pregnant, and too nauseous to sleep. It sent me to sleep virtually every timeSmile Not because he's a bad reader or it was boring, but because it was distracting and incredibly soothing.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/08/2018 18:35

I once got ridiculed on here for saying DH and I read to each other silverhairedcat but we’re not stopping Grin

It’s great. I’m sure I sleep better when I’ve nodded off to his dulcet tones and I find it really relaxing reading out loud so we just take turns.

HesterMacaulay · 14/08/2018 18:35

Why do you think it's too old ?
Why should you stop at 7?
What is the negative about reading to your child?

I think reading at bedtime is unreservedly wonderful for all concerned.

Delaying bedtime is a separate issue.

DieAntword · 14/08/2018 18:35

I like my space and my evenings but I’ll happily read my boys bedtime stories until they tell me to stop. It’s something I’ve got really fond memories of, a great way to introduce literature and just why would I stop something so enjoyable for all?

Girlslikeme · 14/08/2018 18:36

My 11 year old dc still likes a bedtime story but she is up till 9.30 or 10pm by which time I am exhausted and get impatient especially if she has been faffing around avoiding getting ready for bed.

I would happily read to her during the day.

Hidingtonothing · 14/08/2018 18:37

The thought that DD(9) could be too old at 11 makes me really sad, I was banking on a good few years yet! My DM still reads to my DN when she sleeps there, she’s 16 Smile

Penfold007 · 14/08/2018 18:39

There are five years between DC1 & DC2. DC1 would still join DC2 to listen to DH or me read. Does it really matter?

Original poster
Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:41

I just want to point out I have no problem reading to her and her reading to me.

She just chooses not to do it until the last minute and if I suggested going to bed a little bit earlier to accommodate a bed time story Dc would likely refuse.

Xx

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ImNotAsGreenasImCabbageLooking · 14/08/2018 18:42

It's two different issues really. She's definitely angling to stay up later so I agree your DH is being a bit soft there and needs to stick to whichever choice she's made.

Like pps I don't think there's an age cut off. Being read to is a different experience to reading yourself and before the advent of radio and particularly tv, it would have been common for a parent to read to the family in the evening.

However I think at that age I wouldn't expect to have to do it every night. Could you suggest every second night, with you reading one chapter and her the next?

Ansumpasty · 14/08/2018 18:43

No age limit. Those Paul Jennings (sp?) books are brilliant for his age.

I doubt he will want you reading to him when he’s 16. Enjoy it Smile

Original poster
Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:43

@Girlslikeme - I agree think that’s what my issue is with it.

I will happily read to her, play board games with her, but once it gets past bedtime I think it gets a bit too much, as I do believe that kids need a bedtime routine otherwise they will be tired the next day.

And as parents we also need a couple of hours to ourselves for our own sanity!

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Theweasleytwins · 14/08/2018 18:45

My DM used to read Enid Blyton to us at night- but i do have a younger dsis by 5 years

AnnDerry · 14/08/2018 18:45

No age limit to sharing books!

I read to DD on the train when we were on a day trip a few weeks ago. She's 19 and reading history at university.

DH listens to audio books all the time and I love radio plays.

We always read books which would have been hard going to read alone. DH did all 7 Harry Potters (he has so much patience) and I used to read the classics to my DC. As it happens both were happy to read to themselves from about 8 but I would have carried on (and when I was 11 in my final year of primary school my lovely teacher read to us every day - The Turbulent Term of Tyke Tyler - and we loved it)

ItsJustASimpleLine · 14/08/2018 18:47

Give her the option x or read a story. If she then pulls the I want a story card then the next night no option for x just a story or nothing. If you stand firm she'll learn she can't have both.

Good luck.

Original poster
Faerie87 · 14/08/2018 18:48

That’s why I asked really, my mum friends in RL thought it was too old as well as me!

I see a lot of good points here about reading time, I just have to convince DC to have it earlier than bedtime especially when she has already negotiated an extra half an hour watching tv!

OP posts: