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AIBU?

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Original poster

Newborn being around unvaccinated children

44 replies

NameChangeEverydayLOL · 14/08/2018 17:11

What to do, my brothers toddler is not vaccinated (brother is very openly against vaccinations and became irate when I told him I will be vaccinating my daughter)

DD is almost in the world and I am concerned about nephew being around her, there was recently a measles outbreak on our side of London (may be scaremongering but I did read the article a few weeks back)

Obviously he is in playgroups and nursery so I feel incredibly uncomfortable about this, he is old enough to survive catching something, but my poor daughter wont be…

AIBU worrying about this? I don’t see any way to get out of nephew meeting DD in the first few days after birth… so not sure what to do!

OP posts:
Twilight456 · 14/08/2018 17:12

Well surely if he is not ill with anything when he meets her it will be fine?

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 14/08/2018 17:13

If you don’t want him near your baby you need to speak up. There’s another very similar thread on here about nearly this exact situation...

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 17:13

just tell them he can't meet her, and tell them why.

It was their decision not to immunise, they presumably know that means no contact with new borns

why would you even consider letting him visit?

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 14/08/2018 17:14

I wouldnt risk it and i would tell them exactly why...very irresponsible

NaomiNagata · 14/08/2018 17:14

You don't need to allow any visitors you don't want. And the reason doesnt actually matter. You have a legitimate one, but even if you didn't... this is your kid and your decision. Don't feel bad and don't be guilted into it.

If you are in an area where your nephew could have been exposed recently then it's not unreasonable to say he needs to stay away. If there have been no outbreaks or there's no chance he has been exposed, then your brother is going to accuse you of being hysterical but that doesn't matter. Your choice.

If he argues then you say "You made the choice to not get vaccinated. I am making the choice to not knowingly expose my daughter shortly after the measles outbreak".

Jozxyqk · 14/08/2018 17:15

Your newborn, your rules. They decided not to vaccinate, they deal with the consequences.

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 17:15

Well surely if he is not ill with anything when he meets her it will be fine?

what rubbish

if you only spread diseases you were actually visibly ill with there would be no spread of infectious disease anywhere, ever, would there.

restingbemusedface · 14/08/2018 17:15

Many vaccinations are live and shed the illness anyway (the MMR being one of them) so your newborn would be at risk being round someone who had recently had that. An unvaccinated person wouldn’t be a risk unless they were ill.

All of the kids I’ve known who have had measles were vaccinated - go figure!

MaryShelley1818 · 14/08/2018 17:17

There is no way I would risk the life of my newborn baby to allow an unvaccinated child near him.
Yes it’s his choice - I strongly disagree with it but each to their own. BUT your priority has to be your baby-imagine how you’d feel if you relented and something happened. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

Snoopychildminder · 14/08/2018 17:17

I am a childminder in London and about three weeks ago I received an email that had been forwarded on to my local council from the department of health to say measles is on the rise in London.

So no I wouldn’t be happy for unvaccinated children to be around my newborn. Even if they aren’t ill they could be carriers, and beside which newborns are so vulnerable. I’m afraid I would be saying no visitors to my brother if this was me!

Jozxyqk · 14/08/2018 17:18

I lost 1 family member due to catching a disease they were too young to get the vaccine for, & have 2 others with disabilities as a result of diseases that are now routinely vaccinated for.

NaomiNagata · 14/08/2018 17:18

@restingbemusedface

Post vaccination symptoms are not infectious. You do not spread the disease due to having the vaccine. You are not contagious.

0lgaDaPolga · 14/08/2018 17:19

I wouldn’t personally have my newborn around someone I knew was unvaccinated. It’s just not worth the risk. Having said that if you are specifically worried about measles your baby won’t be vaccinated against that until she is 1 year old.

@restingbemusedface I’ve not heard of mmr shedding. I specifically asked the nurse about this when my son had his jabs as I’m pregnant and haven’t had measles and she said there was absolutely no chance I could get it from him being vaccinated

Themerrygoroundoflife · 14/08/2018 17:20

I have no idea what I would do in your shoes. Sounds scary.

RoboJesus · 14/08/2018 17:21

He could easily be a carrier and never know. I would say vaccinate or see ya

Twilight456 · 14/08/2018 17:21

Yes as bemused face said - same goes for whooping cough- a recently vaccinated child or person is a risk to a newborn baby

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 14/08/2018 17:22

Many vaccinations are live and shed the illness anyway (the MMR being one of them)

Nope. Not true.

Pissedoffdotcom · 14/08/2018 17:24

Not a cat in hell's chance would i take my newborn near the kids. You can't keep them away from everybody unvaccinated within society of course but you can minimise the risk within your circle of people who will get close. If your brother asks why, be very honest. His decision not to vaccinate his kids, he will have to deal with people not wanting his kids around because of it

Shmithecat · 14/08/2018 17:28

restingbemusedface
Many vaccinations are live and shed the illness anyway (the MMR being one of them) so your newborn would be at risk being round someone who had recently had that. An unvaccinated person wouldn’t be a risk unless they were ill

Total bullshit. Shut up.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:29

Infectious diseases can be infectious before or after it is physically obvious. Please don’t write dangerous misinformation to the parent of a newborn.

Ditto the people insistent that post vaccination you can be infectious, because it really isn’t true.

OP I’d keep your newborn away.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 14/08/2018 17:30

Ignore @Twilight456 and @restingbemusedface who would appear to have an agenda rather than your new baby's best interests at heartSad. Unlike Twilight's earlier suggestion, you are contagious before you show symptoms with many illnesses, and unlike both of their later suggestions, you do not shed after MMR (well, not for measles or mumps, rubella has rarely been shown to she'd into breast milk but unless newly vaccinated children are breastfeeding your newborn, they'll be fine). Whooping cough is not a live vaccine and does not shed at all.

It's also not correct that 'most children who catch measles are vaccinated' - the
risk is under 1% of that of an unvaccinated child, and most cases will be much milder. www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/measles-outbreak-advice/

EscapistTendencies · 14/08/2018 17:36

YANBU but have all the adults around you had boosters? Most vaccines wane over 15-20 years so many adults are going around unprotected, although as a group less likely to spread disease there's still a risk.

Purpleartichoke · 14/08/2018 17:54

Your kid. You get to make the call.

There are vaccines that can infect other people. We have to be careful because we have an immunosuppressed person in our household.

PinkyU · 14/08/2018 17:55

Do you plan on living in a vacuum until your child is fully immunised?

No visits to grandparents, because they’re not fully immunised.

No visits to supermarket/library/baby clinic or doctors as there will definitely be unimmmunised people there, maybe even health professionals.

No baby groups as babies aren’t fully immunised either.

And while your at it, you’re probably not fully immunised either.

.

Original poster
NameChangeEverydayLOL · 14/08/2018 18:14

Thanks guys, the general consensus here is to not allow him to visit, which I definitely agree with! Nice to know I'm not being melodramatic. Now just to try and explain this to my brother.

Thanks!

OP posts:
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