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Original poster

I think a married man likes me, how do you tell?

75 replies

Skylantern · 14/08/2018 16:04

So I work with this guy, not often but do cross paths for a small time each day.

I am happily taken in a long term relationship and he is married. He is a bit older, not sure how much by but def older at least 10 years.
When I first saw him he looked a bit awkward infront of Me, caught him looking once but only once. He doesn't really talk to me other than say hi or whatever.
Anyway my boss had me working with him the other day because someone called in sick and he looked instantly uncomfortable....but as the day went on he got more confident.
I have been out of the game so long I can't tell what is banter and what is flirting.
Some of things he said made me wonder if he was trying to flirt such as...

  • asking lots about me and I felt he was trying to find out if I had a spouse from some of the questions.
  • when I said I don't have any pockets for pens he told me to put it in my bra
  • he said he was going to tell my brother who he knows but not close with that he is going out with a chick today and was going to pretend it was me but then said Maybe not...
  • I felt he was fishing for compliments asking me why I liked working in his department and do I like it more now? I think he was trying to get me to say it was because of him.
He also told me he used to go out with a girl years ago before he was married in my area but had another one on the go at the same time somewhere else and said back when I was young and had fun.

I know these things aren't that flirty but there was something about him which made me think he was trying to get me to flirt with him.
I can't really tell him to back off when he's not obviously done something to say he's interested.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/08/2018 16:37

Then just say, "Look, , I'm not comfortable with this conversation. Can we stick to work please? Thanks".

I think you're more flattered than you like to admit and you just want to talk about him. That's really not ok and you're being really stupid about it. How would you feel if you partner posted as you have? About a woman he works with?

Stop it, just stop it. You well know what you're doing. You are extremely interested and it leaps out of your posts. What you need to know is that if it weren't you, he'd try it on with anybody... maybe even a well-polished letterbox. Still flattered are you?

THEsonofaBITCH · 14/08/2018 16:38

Do you live on the beach, want a dog and have an ex interested in mum? Just curious.

Original poster
Skylantern · 14/08/2018 16:38

Yes I know @foxyliz26 I could never cheat. I've been cheated on in the past and it really hurts. I have a wonderful man.
But your right it does pick up the self esteem and I think that's why I want to know if it is flirting....because I don't have much self esteem and well I could do with a boost.

OP posts:
PaulRuddislush · 14/08/2018 16:38

How would anyone except you be able to interpret his intentions?

You sound terribly immature and are clearly getting off on his perceived interest in you.

katielouise3 · 14/08/2018 16:38

Should you not have posted this on 'relationships' with all your other attention seeking drama-queen threads...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/08/2018 16:41

Oh, TheSON... ok, got it.

Littledidsheknow · 14/08/2018 16:45

because I don't have much self esteem and well I could do with a boost

Eww, so a sleaze talking about your underwear gives your ego a boost, but being in a LTR with a wonderful man doesn't?

Sad.

Isawthelight · 14/08/2018 16:45

Then why start the thread OP? With such a long and involved first post? If you were genuine, it would have been

"I have to work with a man who I think is flirting with me. I'm not interested. How do I Iet him know that without being rude?"

And then people would ask OP what kind of things the man had been saying. Obviously.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/08/2018 16:45

He's a dick, ignore!

YearOfYouRemember · 14/08/2018 16:49

If you need a boost talk to your partner. Don't be a cliche.

THEsonofaBITCH · 14/08/2018 16:51
Biscuit
viques · 14/08/2018 16:51

OP you could always ask his wife for a few tips, how did she know he was interested in her when they met, does he have a penchant for certain perfumes or clothes, do they have special words they use for each other's genitals , you know OP those special little shared things that make you a couple, I'm sure she'll be happy to share.

MasonJar · 14/08/2018 16:52

It sounds like you're enjoying the attention. He'll be aware of this by the way you behave around him and assume you're up for it.
It's easy to stop his "flirting" behaviour.
Be polite and professional. Don't smile or respond to his attempts at non-work conversation.
He'll soon look get the message and look for someone else to groom for a quick shag.

TrickyKid · 14/08/2018 16:55

Let's hope he doesn't like you. He sounds like a complete knob.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/08/2018 16:56

Whether he does or doesn't is neither here nor there. He's married you're in a relationship. I mean unless you want to enter into a non start relationship. If he was to cheat on his wife or just drop her because a bit of eye candy came along. What makes you think he'd treat you any differently.

Bluntness100 · 14/08/2018 16:57

Well clearly you fancy him and want him to fancy you, so are hoping if just for the ego boost and not because you would do something about it.

The truth is none of us can tell from a few comments.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 14/08/2018 16:58

Why don’t you get one of your friends to ask one of his friends, at playtime, if he likes you? Or, perhaps someone could pass him a note in class?
Or, if you’re not 12, you could grow up!
Also please don’t refer to yourself as happily taken. You are not a bit of shopping.

Tallzarathegreat · 14/08/2018 16:58

Op don't be a saddo loser.

Why does it give you a boost that some sleazy married bloke has given you a it of attention?

Seriously find some deeper purpose in your life to boost your self esteem.

Are you the type of woman who also enjoys being beeped at by white van men and wolf whistled at?

saganorenscarandcoat · 14/08/2018 16:59

He sounds like a tool and what do you care what he thinks of you?

MissLadyM · 14/08/2018 17:04

He sounds like a prick. Don't you think you deserve better?

dayswithaY · 14/08/2018 17:05

Why do you want to know if he fancies you? He's married, he's a sleaze, and you already know that he does. You have nothing better to do than come on here and boast to strangers that a married man fancies you - do you really want to be that person? Women are other womens' worst enemy sometimes - go read a book of you're bored don't mess around with some other woman's life, I pity your partner if you're this easily lead.

supersop60 · 14/08/2018 17:05

I could do with a boost
There we go.
You're with a wonderful man
Ask him to give you a boost. Not this sleazeball at work.
To quote- ew, gross.

Darkautumn · 14/08/2018 17:05

It's inappropriate flirting yes, the sleazy kind.

He's not interested in you, he is interested in stroking his ego.

You are coming across like a bit of a fool. Sorry for being blunt, but I hope that answers your questions.

THEsonofaBITCH · 14/08/2018 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Elementtree · 14/08/2018 17:06

because I don't have much self esteem and well I could do with a boost

This is a very fragile way to inflate the ego. If you feel like your self esteem is poor then you could work to improve it. And then you won't have to endure sad bastards coming on to you at work for a quick boost.