DD wants bf to stay over

[Anonymousmumforlyfe]

DD is 15 and wants bf to stay over she’s trying 16 soon and he is 16 next month. Should I let them stay in seperate rooms? Thoughts?

Goth237 - it's better a 15 yr old has loving sex than experince a quasi rape like yourself. Kids these days are much more clued up and that is to be celebrated

@Goth237
I was 16 (and have always been mature for my age) by the time I got around to it, but I was 15 when talking about it/thinking about it.

My parents allowed sleep overs but 90% of the time when my boyfriend stayed over there wasn’t anything sexual to it.
The talks with my parents were about building all of the parts of relationship before sex, but sex was never talked about like a ‘level’.

I do think that everyone is different in terms of when they think they are ready. I really appreciated my parents giving me the space, educating me about protection etc and then trusting me to (safely) choose that for myself.

I was young, our relationship didn’t last forever, but I’ve never regretted it and we are still good friends now. Looking back I genuinely wouldn’t have changed it.

I wouldn't allow it. I don't agree either that it's a case of parents thinking this will stop teenagers from having sex - come off it - no parent is that naive. In our case, I think for a 16 year old to suddenly be in a relationship where they are sleeping over whole nights every weekend and treated as an adult at home in that sense, is a bit intense and would be too much too soon emotionally. The teenagers I know whose parents allowed this were heartbroken when the relationships later broke up come university etc. I'd discuss sex and contraception etc again, whether they need contraception ready but make clear that on the family home, until finished with school, there will be no sleeping over.

get her contraception sorted asap, I allowed my dds bf to stay over when they had been together for 6 months, he was lovely, i pinged his mum a text just asking if she was ok with his staying over, made it clear he would be sleeping on the sofa, all worked out fine.

Blimey. When I was 18, as was my first serious girlfriend, the first time we had sex was where she lived (she was a live-in nanny and the family were away and she was there on here own). Neither of us had had sex before. One night a few weeks later we were at my parents place and it was 2 am. She slept in my double bed and I slept on the sofa downstairs. I left a note on my bedroom door saying "X is sleeping in here, I'm downstairs" in case my parents walked in.

Next night my mum just said "you can sleep in the same bed as X you know"

Ah, happy days.

I personally would not allow the sleeping over at such a young age, particularly as your DD is still underage.

On the contraceptive issue, doctors I have seen are not keen on giving the pill to teenagers as they are not reliable at taking it. The injection, implant, mirena are much better options for someone that age.

Tell her to wait until she's 21. Good luck.

Condoms are not enough. In typical rather than perfect (ie lab) use they have a failure rate of around 18%. This means that in a year roughly 1 in 5 women will get 100% pregnant.

Tell the little hormonal pervert to keep his grubby little hands off your underage daughter

Jupiter9 they are both 15 but good attitude towards sex and excellent thread reading skills.

@Jupiter9

I don't think your words are as powerful as a teenage boy's hormonal urges...

Nice Jupiter9, I hope your kids if you have any never need to talk to you about anything personal. Way to alienate them

First your own feelings. Then, and for me is a big then.. sometimes you can almost push youngsters into sex by your approval. By that, I mean not giving her a way out without losing face. It doesn't harm sometimes to make it a bit less easy. That way she can decline and blame you. I will be criticised for this but life is not the easy open way we would like it to be. Sometimes a little bit subtler helps. I always tried to not criticise the least pleasant boyfriends for fear of driving my daughters towards them. 20 years later one daughter tells me she would have been put off boyfriends I disapproved of. Sometimes you muddle on and find things out years later. She is at an age when she might want to flex her muscle against you, but not really. For me, she is too young

My boyfriend used to stay over when I was 15, in the same room to! Looking back & with a daughter of my own now it does make me a bit but saying that I had great parents who were always very trusting & open with me and I was with the boyfriend for 3 years, lost my virginity to him & have no regrets. If they're already having sex & you know it I honestly don't see the point in not allowing him in the house when you're not there. What are you gonna stop that hasn't already happened? But I totally understand the separate rooms if you'd feel uncomfortable at the thought of what's going on behind close doors whilst you're in bed! The only thing I would 100% persistent about would be the contraception. Do you think you could trust her to remember it? I'm 27 & don't remember it! Maybe you can keep it & give it to her at breakfast/dinner or something so you know it's being taken. Honestly she's not doing anything any 15 year olds didn't do when I was that age, the only real disaster that could come out of it (in my opinion) is a pregnancy. If his a nice lad & you trust your daughter I wouldn't worry about much else other than that. Bit of course, I know some will disagree. We're all different

The thing is though if they're going to have sex or if they are having sex. Youll never stop them. They'll find always find a way.
My thoughts are better under my roof.

I have a 15, nearly 16 year old son and I would absolutely not allow this.

My reasons:

1. He's too young to have sex.

1. He's too young to be so heavily involved to the point where she's an overnight guest in our house. I plan to keep a reasonable distance from my children's romantic interests until they're old enough to deal with the perceived pressure of having family involvement.

Agree completely with confused beetle. Some enforced space is not always a bad thing.

We all know where this will end up, pregnant single mum at 16. All teenage boys are the same.

I don't think that this sort of pseudo-matrimony is good for kids of that age. Their closest relationships should be with [usually same sex] platonic friends. I don't really buy that two, let's face it, children living together like this is better for them than traditional teenage route of grabbing the odd fumble here and there where chances permit.

Jupiter9 - are you actually being serious. I had plenty if sex at 15 upwards. Was safe the whole time and then had a baby when I chose to at 26.

I'm not sure how they are living together? I read it as the odd night here and there staying over? I may be wrong.

@Jupiter8 you do talk some shit and not just on this thread either.

That should have been @Jupiter8 of course but I deducted a point for your woeful efforts.

Why is my phone autocorrecting 9 to 8 FFS????

I had the implant and it was horrendous for me, I begged for it removing after a couple of months. I basically just bled the whole time it was in, went dry down below and lost my libido entirely. It made me feel like utter shite. I had to burst into tears and kick up a fuss to get it removed too, they’re not keen on removing them. It’s only positive is that it’s obviously there so there’s no forgetting to take it.

I would take her to a GUM clinic in all honesty and discuss contraceptives, get some free condoms etc.

I would probably let the boyfriend stay but I can’t say it would make me feel comfortable per se.

I don't think that this sort of pseudo-matrimony is good for kids of that age. Their closest relationships should be with [usually same sex] platonic friends. I don't really buy that two, let's face it, children living together like this is better for them than traditional teenage route of grabbing the odd fumble here and there where chances permit.

This summarises my view perfectly.