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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain to DH about football?

32 replies

celebratorysusan · 13/08/2018 18:11

After some different perspectives really along with a male perspective hopefully!

DH is completely obsessed with the football and now it is back on again I have realised how much it consumes our daily lives. It seems to be all he does at the weekend as well as when games are on in the week. If he can find a game he will be watching it, plus always on his phone looking at stuff.

I just sort of wish I could make more plans with him at weekends without me having to think he is going to say... well I can't because of this game, or i'm meeting mates to see this game, or I don't really want to do that because I'm at home in front of SKY!

Is this normal behaviour from your hubbies and any advice on how to make him slightly less football mad?

OP posts:

ScrumpyCrack · 13/08/2018 18:13

Why don’t you try and get into it for a season?

I did this with the World Cup and really enjoyed it in the end.

KateGrey · 13/08/2018 18:13

My DH is similar but it’s sport in general. He tends to be glued to his phone at home though we do get out I find it frustrating that sport is his main interest now. He no longer plays the amount he did before so now he watches it. Constantly.

YeTalkShiteHen · 13/08/2018 18:13

OP we’re a football daft family, season tickets, away games, the works, but even for us that sounds excessive!

If it’s on the telly because we haven’t gone, neither DP or I would cancel plans because of it.

Have you broached it with him before?

Bestseller · 13/08/2018 18:16

Attending football takes priority in this house but as you say, football is on TV constantly. Unless it was a particularly important (to us) game we wouldn't change or avoid games because of a televised match.

YeTalkShiteHen · 13/08/2018 18:17

Is it his own team OP? Or any football at all?

longtimelurkingtrans · 13/08/2018 18:19

Saturday and Sunday can be football extravaganzas all day long plus several midweek games. He will need to compromise at the weekends of one day footie and one day for you. As for all those weekday matches he can watch them so long as one night or so at least set time aside for you, A night at cinema or for a meal, My ex was footie mad but he did compromise to keep us both happy

SavannahSky · 13/08/2018 18:21

A meal out or cinema trip can still be coordinated alongside football though

A football game lasts 90 mins!!

knittingdad · 13/08/2018 18:24

It's normal, but not in a good way. Anything can become obsessive.

I would ask him to compromise in some way. A budget of games to watch for the season, perhaps. No phone use after xPM. That sort of thing.

JacquesHammer · 13/08/2018 18:24

Is this normal behaviour from your hubbies

I’m utterly sport mad.

I think he needs to be more reasonable about what matches need attention.

So for example when DD is at her dad’s and there’s only me to please I will watch anything and everything.

When DD is here we choose what to watch together (sometimes sport, sometimes a movie).

No hobby should take over family life

cleowasmycat · 13/08/2018 18:27

I divorced. Football came before everything. I was left doing the parenting or home alone. It's only a game.

Original poster

celebratorysusan · 13/08/2018 18:27

He supports Liverpool and goes to some games, he’s not a season ticket holder though, he will literally watch any football game at home though not just Liverpool. This is why it’s getting too much - I can deal if it was just his own team, but he’s obsessed with it all, and he watches all the matches and then still needs to watch MOTD late at night, it’s just driving me a bit mad!

OP posts:

Original poster

celebratorysusan · 13/08/2018 18:28

And to the PP who said I should get into it, I am not disinterested and will sit there and watch it with him (sort of!) but it’s too much football for me!!! Bored!

OP posts:

AGirlinLondon · 13/08/2018 18:31

My OH was also excited because it was opening weekend - but to be honest he works bloody hard and finds watching the football the easiest way to switch his brain off. It gives me time to do other stuff and he definitely pulls his weight around the house - we just do stuff together at other times.

ilovesooty · 13/08/2018 18:32

I follow football very closely and devote a lot of time to it. I go to watch my own team when I can and I don't miss a televised game except under exceptional circumstances. I like to watch all major games too though I wouldn't let those affect plans with other people.
I live on my own but my ex was a football enthusiast too - I couldn't have a serious relationship with someone who wasn't interested.
Could you come up with some kind of compromise and / or develop an interest yourself?

YeTalkShiteHen · 13/08/2018 18:33

I think the fact it’s any football, not just his own team, that impinges on your life together is a real issue.

It sounds like he has a real obsession and that’s not healthy or conducive to a good relationship.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 13/08/2018 18:34

DH has a season ticket and I used to so we like football obviously. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY we would be organising our lives around watching other teams.

As my lovely MIL says you need to put your foot down with a firm hand and tell him to grow the fuck up (she doesn't say the last bit obviously!).

Sorry OP this has made me irrationally angry on your behalf.

SavannahSky · 13/08/2018 18:35

Is it an 'obsession' though.... He just follows the sport

It's an interest, and it's only a few hours a week for as long as the season lasts

JacquesHammer · 13/08/2018 18:36

It's an interest, and it's only a few hours a week for as long as the season lasts

If he’s not only watching his own team, he could realistically watch a match every night of the week and at least 3 on each weekend day

SavannahSky · 13/08/2018 18:36

It lasts 90 minutes.... I can easily lose that time on MN!

How long do you all spend on mumsnet?

Toooldtobearsed · 13/08/2018 18:37

Embrace it!

Use this as YOUR time to do stuff you enjoy! I am not saying that he is not unreasonable, but I have learned to pick my battles. DH is a football enthusiast, as was I, many moons ago. But these days, I enjoy 'my time', and as he is also enjoying his, everyone is happy 😁

Slapbetcommissioner · 13/08/2018 18:38

Savannah do you have issues with comprehension? Or just so arrogant you didn't read the OPs posts....

SavannahSky · 13/08/2018 18:39

Neither slap

Slapbetcommissioner · 13/08/2018 18:40

Your posts make no sense in the context of the OPs specific problem.... She's clearly said it interferes with their life. It isn't just 90 minutes once a week .....

ilovesooty · 13/08/2018 18:42

I watched two matches on Saturday, two yesterday plus MOTD both days.
I imagine the OP 's husband had a similar viewing schedule.

Lazypuppy · 13/08/2018 18:43

Yep! Saturdays are all about watching the scores come in o n sky sports! I get involved now, put a couple of £1 bets on so i can spend it with my partner

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