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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Due date on Wednesday...daughters birthday on Monday...AIBU to be worried?

29 replies

Saminsachs · 13/08/2018 16:39

Hi all :)

So, I have a (nearly) nine year old daughter and am due to give birth to my second child in two days time, on Wednesday.

It's my daughters birthday on Monday and her birthday party on Sunday (8 children coming around for six hours :/) so it's all a bit hectic...

Does anyone have any experience of their children sharing the same birthday? My daughter really, really doesn't want the baby to be born on her birthday, as I'll be in hospital and she thinks that then everyone will just care about the baby...She has slight issues with jealousy anyway!

If I go into labour on the day of my daughters birthday party, it would also be quite difficult/impossible, as my husband is my birthing partner and it's just the two of us, with no other family support, who have arranged the birthday party...activities/food/care etc...so if I was in labour on the day of her birthday party, it would have to be cancelled.

I guess we would have to rearrange...I think maybe I'm more worried about actually going into labour on my daughter's birthday...logistically, would you have one birthday the day and one the day before? Or just leave it as a quirk?

Just interested to hear some opinions!

Thanks!

OP posts:

BlueberryPud · 13/08/2018 16:43

I have 2 brothers who were both born on Christmas day 2 years apart. It didn't do any harm. You get used to it.

HazzleMcDazzle · 13/08/2018 16:57

My two have the same birthday - it's worked out well (if expensive) for us, and feels like a really special day. It's always a talking point amongst their friends, who see it as much more unusual than they do themselves. Tbh, it took DD a while to get her head around the fact that not all siblings have the same birthday! Whatever happens will be the norm for your DC, everything will be fine.

Hillarious · 13/08/2018 16:59

DC3 was due on DC2's birthday (he was actually born 12 days later). I had a party for ten 2 year olds, and a chest freezer delivered, on that day. I'm sure one of the friends' parents would step in to help. Everyone gets excited on occasions like this, and your DD needs to get caught up in that excitement too (I hope she does).

This was all 18 years ago, and the chest freezer is still going strong!

Desmondo2016 · 13/08/2018 17:01

I was in early labour at home 2 years ago on my 10 year olds birthday. My family rallied round so that he felt prioritised. I ended up having the baby 2 days after. The big ones do, to a degree, just need to suck it up.

LegallyBrunet · 13/08/2018 17:15

My little sister was born the day before my 9th birthday. My mum and new sister were home in time for my birthday.

RuggerHug · 13/08/2018 17:18

One of my mates growing up had the same birthday as her brother with(I think) a 9 year gap. Her Mam was in labour with 10 children running around the house hyped up on sugar and even when we were young we were amazed at this. They thought it was fab to share the day!

EvaHarknessRose · 13/08/2018 17:24

You just need a really good contingency plan for Sunday, and hope for the best. Tell your daughter you can’t plan and what will be will be, but you do want her to enjoy her birthday and enjoy her new baby sister, whether they turn up on the same day or not.

Bellyscreen · 13/08/2018 17:27

You must be mad to have planned a party so close to your due date! I’d have a back up plan - make sure you’ve got everyone’s phone numbers in your hospital bag to cancel if you have to. My cousins had the same birthday and they were very close (I think it was annoying at the time when they used to get joint presents, especially with there being about 6 years between them, that’s something to keep your eye on).

mindutopia · 13/08/2018 17:31

My 2nd was due 4 days after my 1st’s birthday. I really, really didn’t want them to share a birthday. I think because I was so stressed about it my body knew to hold off. He was born 9 days after her birthday so there’s a full week between them, which is fine. I hate birthdays (so stressful!) so at least now we get through two parties in one week and are done for another year.

But that said, no way when I was due that I could have done a party. We did a small family party at home on my dd’s actual birthday, but then her party with her friends was booked for 6 weeks later, which worked great. She pretty much had 6 weeks of celebrating her birthday which she thought was fabulous!

firawla · 13/08/2018 17:33

My daughters due date was 2 days after my 8 year olds birthday (7 year old at that time) but she was a week late and ended up born on Christmas Day, so still an awkward birthday but not as close to her brothers! Another one of mine was due day after my birthday but was early and is 9 days before my birthday now. I wouldn’t worry too much for now!

OddBoots · 13/08/2018 17:34

There is really no point in worrying, there is nothing you can do about it so just have a plan b and enjoy the party.

Miraclesparklestars · 13/08/2018 17:36

My friends DDs share a birthday - it's then my friends birthday the day after and her husbands the day after that!

Another friend has her birthday, her DD and DS (same day) two days later, her sister the next day, her niece three days after that, her husband a week later, her eldest son 4 days after that and then her mum the next day! It's all straight after Christmas too!

Knittedfairies · 13/08/2018 17:37

There’s not much you can do about it anyway; crossing your legs ain’t goin’ to work. .. I hope all goes well for you.

Floralnomad · 13/08/2018 17:42

If they end up sharing a birthday then they share a birthday , not much you can do about it now . I think you need to make a plan for Sunday so that if you are in labour that your daughters party goes ahead as planned particularly as she is already a bit jealous .

Beautifulsunshine · 13/08/2018 18:11

Who is looking after your daughter when you are in labour? I am sure a friend or one of the other children’s parents would help st the party.

Caterina99 · 13/08/2018 18:44

I think you need to get a contingency plan for the birthday party. Is there really no one you can trust to run a 9 year olds party if you and DH have to leave? I’d explain to a couple of her friend’s parents and surely they’d step up in that situation! Who is looking after her when you are in labour?

mommybunny · 13/08/2018 18:49

Sharing a birthday with a sibling is really no big deal - twins (like me!) and other multiples cope just fine!

MrsMonkeyBear · 13/08/2018 19:04

Dd2 arrived 3 days before DD1 3rd birthday, she thought having a baby sister was an amazing present. As DD1 was late, I wasn't really expecting Dd2 to be a day early!!!

I also have a few friends with children with 1 or 2 days between them too.

umberellaonesie · 13/08/2018 19:07

Mine are all within a week and it is my birthday that week too.
We have a birthday week cake for breakfast everyday. Various parties activities etc I take annual leave for the week and I get a night at a spa every year to make up for being in labour or postnstal 3 times

GreenTulips · 13/08/2018 19:08

Speak to your daughters friends parents and explain - see if anyone can step in to help at the party.

Is it at home? Who's having your DD when you go into hospital?

You need to ask for help.

I have twins they naturally share a birthday - they pick a weekend each and have separate parties cake and whatever event - it's possibe

TakeOffYourJudgyPants · 13/08/2018 20:37

I have 2 who share a birthday, I also have twins who obviously share a birthday. All 4 (2) birthdays are in the same month too.

It's expensive, but it's fine. There's no point worrying about it because there's nothing you can do about it

gretagerbil18 · 13/08/2018 20:43

Not my sister, but my cousin has the same birthday as me.

I was very, very close to my aunt (she looked after me after school and when I was a baby)- DCousin was her first and I was 11 when she was born.

It was great- I was first to meet the baby (after my uncle and grandma but she didn’t tell me that at the time ha) and me and my auntie both had a pile of presents to open and even had a small party tea in the hospital- nothing silly, sandwiches a packet of crisps and cake. My mum even baked a half and half cake for me and DCousin and has done every year since (despite me now being 31 and DCousin 20 )

It was just my families way of making a fuss of me but recognising it was DCousins day of birth too.

AwkwardPaws27 · 13/08/2018 20:48

My brother arrived a week before my 8th birthday.
For god's sake, don't let friends and relatives bang on about "getting a baby brother/sister for your birthday". I honestly thought he was the only present I was getting, and was bitterly disappointed that he just slept and cried

As we got older it was fine, we often had joint family BBQs for our birthdays despite the age gap, and did something separately with school friends.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 13/08/2018 20:51

You need to speak to the other parents and get someone to step into the breach if you can’t run the party yourselves. I think you could be setting yourself up for problems otherwise.

My sister is ten years my senior, and still hasn't forgiven me for being born 40 years down the line. If she'd had to lose out on something important to her like a party I dread to think how much worse she'd be. I’m not saying your DD will be as extreme (I doubt she could be) but I'd want to lessen the impact of your new arrival on her life.

jammydodgersplease · 13/08/2018 21:46

I have boys two years apart on the same day- so they really haven’t known any different, I had another child recently and they were flummoxed at her getting her own birthday. They are still reasonably young and this year it seems they may be looking for their own celebrations.
You sound in a different situation though and you will need to compensate for this year at another time- can’t do anything about it now- and your daughter is maybe old enough to understand that, although not necessarily like it!! Have a big chat with her, if you can, taken her out for cake in the next day or so and chat about what may or may not happen so she is more prepared for her birthday being gatecrashed??
Congratulations, Good Luck and hope it all goes well!!

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