. . . to tell my boss?

[UnsettledAndAnxious]

NC as it's work-related.

I'm on the management team of our department, which has about fifty staff. There are eight managers including me. One of the other managers is leaving and one of his team is applying for this role in the hope of being promoted.

I have MAJOR issues with this man, whom I'll call Steve, and if he were promoted to the management team I'd find it very difficult to work with him. I'll give you some examples of his behaviour:

1. I had to let someone go from my team due to their misconduct - Steve was good friends with this person and now holds a grudge, and therefore does things like introducing people to me with "Be careful of this one, she'll get you sacked" - said in a jokey way, but it happens a lot ("oooooooh don't do that, you'll get in trouble, that's misconduct according to Unsettled" etc.) I tend to ignore.

2. He's ex-military and for a while seemed to make a point of talking about people he's killed in my home country when I'm around. It happened about three times over a six-week period. It feels sinister and makes me feel massively uncomfortable but again, I ignore.

3. On a work night out, when most others had gone home, he exhibited incredibly poor judgement and did something morally wrong and incredibly seedy (given that he has a wife and kids). Only four junior members of staff know about this, as well as me.

4. I overheard him talking to his wife on the phone and it was horrendous. I'd be out the door if DH spoke to me like that. Lack of respect . . . borderline abusive. Just awful.

None of the management team are aware of the above as they haven't been present, and I haven't said anything. Our head honcho, who would conduct the interviews for the role, won't have any idea what Steve is like.

WIBU to flag my concerns to the HH? Or is it none of my business and Steve should be entitled to get the job based on experience/skills alone?

1 and 2 I would raise as an issue due to the unprofessional nature of it however 3 and 4 is down to personal interpretation, he can do what he likes in his free time.

No 2 and 3 are important in my opinion. If his behaviour was poor on a work night out then that it of relevance to the company reputation.
He sounds dreadful, you have my sympathy!

1. You need to call him out on it, every time
2. Ignore
3. Did you say something at the time?
4. Not your problem

You can say to your HH that you have reservations though.

i would have a word with him, especially about 1 and 2.

I'd discuss 1 as that could cause real issues, maybe 2 if you can prove it. 3 & 4- that's just your view of Steve & not work related, although 3 could count against him, I suppose. He sounds an utter twat waffle either way.

I think you have to tell the HH about your concerns. I was in management and such issues mattered and needed to be spoken about.

Definitely speak up, but do not mention 4.

I'd speak to HR about his behaviour. If he has something like this on his record they may not consider him for management anyway.

Definitely 1 and 2, forget 3 and 4, they are not relevant to his work and while I think you are right I think it will make you look like the one with the issues if you go in with and and and and, stick to the important ones

Definitely flag 1 and 2 - although 3 and 4 are relevant to the opinion that you've formed, they aren't relevant within the workplace per se and I fear that if you mention them, you will sound like you have a vendetta.

Sounds like a right one.

Okay, good, this is what I was thinking - speak to HH about the first two and don't say anything about 3) and 4).

I don't want to speak to HR at this point - I couldn't give them exact dates now and it would feel a bit too-late. But I'll keep a record of anything further.

I have a strong feeling I'll speak to HH and Steve will get the job anyway

speak to HH about the first two and don't say anything about 3) and 4) I agree but I'd 'save' 3 – it's work-related inasmuchas it could reflect badly on the company.

I would tell my boss. He's BIG on trust and always goes on about having integrity. He would definitely want to know and I would stop him from making a horrific hire. Tell them what you know and they can make their own minds up.

I'd definitely be making it clear (as a minimum) that I would not want to work with them.

if 4 other members of staff saw something on a night out then A WHOLE LOT more know now

1 - is unprofessional
2 - is racism
3 - if it's a work night out is relevant as reflects on the company
4 - irrelevant

And if it's the kind of workplace where him being a penis wearer or in with the in crowd so he gets the job no matter what, start looking for a new job.

Also - be VERY careful who you tell. If he finds out, then gets the job, he'll be gunning for you & have the authority to really make your life miserable. Document everything from now on.

I would raise 1, 2 and 3. At the very least, 3 is a reputational risk for the company and a repeat would set a poor precedent for junior staff.

A few colleagues and I raised concerns a few months ago about a colleague who was in the mix for a promotion which would have him managing us. He'd frequently not respond to emails and calls from female members of staff, only bothering if you cc'd in someone above his level. Our team didn't think this was widely acknowledged by senior management, but they took it very seriously. In the end, he didn't get the promotion.

Agree with others, raise 1 and 2 as your main concerns and then possibly back up with 3 as a non-serious but cause for concern if he were to become manager (and therefore a major representative for the company).

Definitely raise, even if you don't think it will make a difference. If you continue to have trouble once he's hired, you can go back to your boss and it will just back up your original concerns and therefore build a stronger case.

Raise the areas that are related to workplace harassment i.e. 1 - 3. Also make a point of challenging his 'jokes' about you getting people fired and his war stories every time.

"No. I didn't get Dave fired, he got himself fired because xyz behaviour. It wasn't funny the first time you said it and it's now becoming boring."

"What point exactly are you trying to make about the number of my fellow countrymen you've killed? I'm feeling quite threatened."

Make a note of every occasion. He sounds like a twat and like pps I'd advise you to start looking for work elsewhere if he gets the manager post.

Not dissimilar situation many years ago. Discovered said person was applying for a job within our department. Told my immediate manager of my concerns and she agreed with me, said I should tell her immediate manager and overall head of department. So I did.

Said person got the job anyway.

Be prepared for it to make no difference. I'd still do the same again, however.

1, 2 and 3 for me. Agree with KickAssAngel, it's a work occasion and other staff members were witness to the behaviour. Also agree with having a look elsewhere if it's the kind of company that would be aware of all the above and still hire him anyway due to being buddy buddies or having a penis.

*KickAssAngel8 why is number 2 racism?

"No. I didn't get Dave fired, he got himself fired because xyz behaviour. It wasn't funny the first time you said it and it's now becoming boring."

No, OP could get the sack for disclosing this. He is probably doing it to goad the OP into snapping.

OP I'd go to see HH, and tell him that he needs to look closer at Steve's behaviour, from your point of view he behaves unprofessionally and give him the instances that you know about. Mention the bad behaviour on a night out that 4 junior staff members witnessed, but don't mention the wife. Just say you are flagging your concerns at this point, for him to take into consideration.

but he probably will get the job. These types often do because they are full of shit.

So be prepared to go find another job if so. Or keep your eye on him and shop his unprofessionalism the first moment you can.

1) I had to let someone go from my team due to their misconduct - Steve was good friends with this person and now holds a grudge, and therefore does things like introducing people to me with "Be careful of this one, she'll get you sacked" - said in a jokey way, but it happens a lot ("oooooooh don't do that, you'll get in trouble, that's misconduct according to Unsettled" etc.) I tend to ignore.

It's a bit late now, but why have you let this slide? It sounds as if you're more senior than this tit, albeit not his direct manager- why are you letting him get away with talking to you like this?

I would speak up about no. 1 and 2. He sounds like someone who hasn't quite adjusted to a civilian role since leaving the army. DH has very different views on what's "normal" and appropriate in a work environment to me. I can imagine anyone who's been in longer than him, reached a relatively senior rank or actually likes the forces would find moving into civvy street a real culture shock.

1 and 2 need reported.

3 doesn't. If it was bad enough you should've done it earlier. So doing it now just looks malicious and undermines the seriousness of 1 and 2.

1. None of your business.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. Happily most people are of the same opinion, which makes it easier to know what I should do!