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Original poster

Revenge porn. Could I lose my job??

30 replies

Whatfreshhellisthiss · 12/08/2018 23:25

Hello.

Just a quick question because I'm going out of my mind with worry here. I've done something really stupid.. to cut a long story short I sent some one an explicit picture of myself (he sent some of him to me too) and now I'm massively regretting it Blush I asked him to delete it and after a little persuasion he said he did.. now I'm worried that he hasn't and even more so that he may upload it onto the internet.. I have no real reason to think he would do this. I guess I'm just being paranoid but it still a possibility isn't it?? I've been so stupid.
My biggest worry is, if he does that and my employer came across it would/could they sack me for it?? I need and love my job. Sad I work in the UK.

Before anyone says.. I know how stupid I've been and will 100%, NEVER do it again.

Thank you (please be nice I feel like crap right now)

OP posts:
HelpmeobiMN · 12/08/2018 23:28

It might depend on the circumstances (i.e. the nature of your job) but I think it’s very unlikely - revenge porn would be a crime against you, not a sign that you’ve done something wrong yourself. It’s not a crime to send a consenting adult an explicit picture of yourself!

Try to put the worry from your mind - in the even that something like this did happen, you would most likely be supported not condemned. And it isn’t very likely anyway that it would end up on any porn sites unless the recipient of the picture is a real shit.

Singlenotsingle · 12/08/2018 23:29

Well, so long as you didn't do it whilst at work, or using work's çomputer system, you should be ok. (You didn't, did you?) No one should ever know.

Birdsgottafly · 12/08/2018 23:31

You won't be sacked.

Even if you are in the Police/Teacher/occupation overseen by a governing body. We all make errors of judgement and you haven't put anyone in danger.

Whoisalanbrazil · 12/08/2018 23:31

Please don't be unduly worried. You've got no reason to believe he'll upload it, or that if he uploads it to a website that anyone you know will see it or your employer will become aware. Even if they did, depending in where you work I don't see why they'd sack you, you'd be a victim of a crime.

MrsSteptoe · 12/08/2018 23:32

No advice, but I will send you an ahhhhh and a hug. Immediate panic and regret is horrid, but I usually find that my most paranoid fears recede after a few days. Did you send it unsolicited, or did he ask you for it?

Original poster
Whatfreshhellisthiss · 12/08/2018 23:32

Oh thank you Blush

I've been looking on line a revenge porn victim stories (yes I really am that neurotic..) and lots of people actually get sacked for it!!

Omg.. that so wasn't worth it. I've been sick of my life ever since! Grin

OP posts:
MrsSteptoe · 12/08/2018 23:34

Incidentally, I honestly think the men who would upload a picture are in the minority. We hear about it a lot, but I think you'd be damn unlucky to have come across one who would do that.

GreenTulips · 12/08/2018 23:34

Yes you would be the victim here.

I'm glad you've learn a lesson (next time make sure your face isn't in the photo!!!

Or don't do it!

Original poster
Whatfreshhellisthiss · 12/08/2018 23:35

No, he definitely wanted it, it was a mutual thing iyswim.. what a time to be alive..

Thank you for all the messages I feel much better Smile

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:04

You could be sacked, yes. It is very unlikely you'd be recognised unless he made a point of naming you or showing it to people who would recognise you.

If this did happen, he'd be committing a criminal offence.

I don't think most employers would sack you, but some could take that approach and face the consequences. A lot depends on the nature of your job, your employer's attitude, and if you could demonstrate it was revenge porn and not exhibitionism.

I honestly don't think the majority of men would post it online. A few might show off to friends (complete b'stards). Most would probably respect your privacy and intimacy.

VanGoghsDog · 13/08/2018 00:08

You could be sacked, yes.

On what grounds?

There are loads of naked photos of me on the |Internet, and sent to numerous men, I've never been sacked for, it's none of my employer's business.

Cel982 · 13/08/2018 00:12

If anyone tried to sack you for having been the victim of a sexual crime, you could take them to the cleaners.

Try not to worry, OP, I'm sure it won't happen anyway, and you certainly won't lose your job if it did.

TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:15

*On what grounds?

There are loads of naked photos of me on the |Internet, and sent to numerous men, I've never been sacked for, it's none of my employer's business.*

It depends on the nature of your job, your employer and if they know or not!.
The grounds can be bringing the company into disrepute or inappropriate behaviour for the role you're in etc. (you might work in a sexual offenders institute, or deal with children etc).

What you do outside of work is no longer 'none of work's business' - there has been lots of case law on this.

dinosaurkisses · 13/08/2018 00:15

To be sacked or disciplined for it, they’d have to be able to categorically prove it was you, which unless you admitted it was you or you have a face tattoo or another v identifying feature, would be very difficult for an employer to do.

TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:17

To be sacked or disciplined for it, they’d have to be able to categorically prove it was you, which unless you admitted it was you or you have a face tattoo or identifying feature, would be very difficult for an employer to do.

Of course they would, but if it's hard to prove it's you, then this isn't really an issue in the first place (in terms of identity being known)

TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:23

If anyone tried to sack you for having been the victim of a sexual crime, you could take them to the cleaners.

Not really.
Plenty of firms will sack you and pay you out, but it's hardly taking them to the cleaners. The statutory cap is 1 year's wage (or 80K) whichever is the lesser. It's no big deal for many firms to pay you out and get rid.
As I said - depends on the firm, the job, and also if you win your own case.
If you won your case, then most firms might be reluctant to sack you because of bad press, but plenty of other firms wouldn't care.

dinosaurkisses · 13/08/2018 00:24

Yes, but the employer has to prove that is you in the image- there could be no doubt that it’s someone who happens to look a bit like you.

Unless your employer is a school or police force, and there’s no unarguable evidence in the video that it’s you (clearly speaking, saying your name or wearing a name badge etc) why would a HR manager push it?

Original poster
Whatfreshhellisthiss · 13/08/2018 00:26

Yeah.. I'd say it pretty obvious it's me.. to me anyway! I have a stomach tattoo which you can see and I'm a care worker (not with children) sooo, yeah.. if it went public I'm sure they wouldn't be impressed and I'd get sacked.. unless they took pity that is, but I doubt that. This is all hypothetical of course, the poor guy might have genuinely deleted it and I'm worrying over nothing (please god let it be nothing!!!!)

OP posts:
MrsSteptoe · 13/08/2018 00:29

Please, OP, stop torturing yourself. It's so unlikely that you have come across someone who would do something so creepy. I know it gets talked about a lot, but it's really not normal behaviour. Do try to shake off your fears (I know easier said than done).

TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:30

metro.co.uk/2017/01/17/woman-sacked-after-ex-posted-revenge-porn-to-her-boss-6385895/

There's no rhyme or reason why chose to get rid. Just because you're innocent, it can still be seen as bad PR, or inappropriate behaviour in having sent the photos in the first place.
I'm not condoning it, just saying that some firm will react badly to it. One example might be that someone sent the image from a company mobile or received one (and didn't report it). That alone can be a sackable offence. A bit of cyber from the company laptop? sacked. A sexy personal email - sacked. If they want to get rid, they will find a way (and do). Sad, but true.
Not ALL firms are like this. But some big bluechips would do it, not just small firms.

TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:32

Please try not to worry about it.
Is the guy a total idiot? he has a lot to lose too. Most men will have enough common sense not to do it.
Some idiots do it, in the grand scheme it's not the majority.

Despite lots of people denying it. Naughty photos are exchanged 10,000's of times a day. It's far more common than many think.

CSIblonde · 13/08/2018 00:35

Well you've both got 'dirt' on each other so I wouldn't be too worried or, delete my 'dirt'. (I wouldn't believe he's deleted it tbh) . Is your face seen? Hard to prove its you if it's not.

Original poster
Whatfreshhellisthiss · 13/08/2018 00:43

Oh yeah. Me. Head to fuckin toe Blush

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 13/08/2018 00:47

+slides whatfresh a large vino+

It'll be ok, ok?

Original poster
Whatfreshhellisthiss · 13/08/2018 00:52

Yes torn, yes it WILL glugs wine

OP posts:
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