Trying to calm down about needing to take a shortened mat leave

[HJE17]

I’m the higher earner in my family by quite a bit. Our DD is one year old now. For her, I got 4 months paid leave from work, and then took another 4 months unpaid. I then went back to work when she was 8 months and my husband took over parental leave instead. Just found out I’m pregnant again, which I’m 95% really excited about... however, we haven’t had time to build back up our savings. When we have the baby, I’ll probably need to go back to work at around the 6th month mark. It’s making me feel a bit sad and anxious, particularly as it’s hard to continue breastfeeding in my job (variety of factors, including highly unpredictable schedule). I guess I just need some reassurance to be able to feel 100% on board with this pregnancy. Any stories of people who have gone back to work early and the kid’s been fine? Any stories of people who have gone back early and LOVED it?

In America you get six weeks paid leave, 8 for s c-section and you can take I think an additional 6 weeks unpaid.

so 6/8months is pretty amazing really..

All great points! Thanks folks, for helping me put this in perspective.

I took 6 months with both my children. Simply couldn't afford any longer on £110 a week. It was a perfect length of time for me - I was ready to go back and resume normal life!

I went back to work when both of mine were around 6-7 months. I couldn't afford not to really. With eldest it was full time and youngest it was full time for a few months while I did some training then part time.

One thing I will say with 2 close together is childcare is expensive for the first few years and it wasn't financially worth me going back full time after my second!

I went back when my second was 4 months old and we did shared parent leave and DH did the rest as I'm the higher earner. It did get a few raised eyebrows especially from other women in the office. DH's work were a bit baffled but nice as he was the first one!

Will your DH take parental leave again?

I think the baby will be fine either way, but you mention that you're worried about people's reactions and this would give you perfect ammunition!

Something about how important it is for father's to get that time to fully bond with the baby, and this is what everyone does in the Nordic countries, and everyone knows that they do family life better...

Even if he isn't, you could turn the conversation back to why you're sad that isn't possible this time since which will get them off the moral high ground.

I went back after 6 months with my second child, and husband took over for four months - I was so really, hated mat leave it was draining and boring and I felt so down and depressed - so yes loved going back to work albeit I missed my little man of course (DD was at Nirsery whilst I was on mat leave)

I went back at 4 months with DS ( was already pregnant again) and 6 months with DD.
Both children are well adjusted happy teens with no evidence of trauma. The first few weeks back were emotionally tough though and required Stella preparation the night before work.
Congratulations BTW

I was 4 weeks old when my mum went back to work, full-time plus overtime. I am 30 now and we are very close.
I hit all my milestones on time as a child.
DC2 will be fine.