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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry I will miss pregnancy?

55 replies

Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:33

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and it has dawned on me that I only have around 12 weeks of pregnancy left, if all goes to plan...
I'm really concerned that I will miss being pregnant. The thought of not feeling little kicks, or going for scans, or reaching new pregnancy milestones, etc etc, terrifies me!

I know my personality well and am fairly sure I'm going to struggle mentally with not being pregnant anymore. I have an anxiety disorder which makes it all that bit worse and just can't get this awful thought out of my head.

Is this a normal thing to be worried about or am I being utterly ridiculous?

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 12/08/2018 16:37

You'll have a baby to keep you busy... It's nature, it's life, and you can hopefully have another one at some stage. I think you have to take control over this 'anxiety'... Everything moves on.

OuchLegoHurts · 12/08/2018 16:38

And sorry but yes, I do think it's ridiculous to be worried! Natural to miss being pregnant, but a bit childish to be worried about it.

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:39

Thanks @OuchLegoHurts - it's my first but don't think we will be having another as I'm scheduled surgery after baby is born. It's a long, stressful story which I won't go in to but there's a high chance I won't be able to have any more children.

OP posts:
Theweasleytwins · 12/08/2018 16:40

I felt phantom kicks after having dc last time😅
Im looking forward to not getting up 4 times a night to pee

RiddleyW · 12/08/2018 16:42

I felt like this. Like you I was pretty sure I’d only do it once. It’s four years since I was pregnant now and I am still quite sad if I think about it too much but what can you do?

RowenaDedalus · 12/08/2018 16:42

WHy don’t you make a list of the things you will miss and them write what you will get instead. Eg you won’t feel kicks- but you will see baby’s little feet and hold them in your hands. You won’t be able to check an app for milestones but you will be able to look forward to smiles, sitting, rolling etc etc. Maybe that will make you feel more in control?

OuchLegoHurts · 12/08/2018 16:43

Ok well that's more understandable then. But I still think you need to focus on all the different amazing stages of childhood that you'll get to experience. I have twins and no others, and looking back at the baby and toddler pics I feel nostalgic and have urges to be able to go back to that time... But then I focus on how amazing they are right now and how some day I'll be looking at photos of them now (10 yrs old) and wish I could be back here again... So I cherish every day and I don't harbour regrets. You're in control of how happy and fulfilled you are. Don't waste the precious childhood days upset about missing pregnancy. That's my advice, life is short!

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:43

@OuchLegoHurts childish? I think you must have a poor understanding of anxiety as those with GAD will worry about anything everything. Things that others may deem trivial seem huge. It's not due to being childish however. It's not as easy as just 'taking control' over your mental health, gosh I wish it was!

OP posts:
Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:44

@OuchLegoHurts xp. Thank you.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 12/08/2018 16:44

I miss being pregnant loads. But it is what it is and ultimately I'd rather have my DD! At first it was really hard though and I just had to go through a bit of a grieving process.

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:45

@RowenaDedalus that's a brilliant idea. Thank you!

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Redgreencoverplant · 12/08/2018 16:46

I miss being pregnant (well after the first trimester anyway) and it was my first and last pregnancy. When I get the pangs I focus on remembering how awful the constant metallic taste was 😁

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 16:48

I guess it's just the idea of never being pregnant again that scares me...

OP posts:
Pickleypickles · 12/08/2018 16:48

I thought I would miss being pregnant but I was so uncomfortable towards the very end that I didn't, 12 weeks is still a long Tim in pregnancy world.

Redgreencoverplant · 12/08/2018 16:51

I understand Yannia, I find it upsetting that I will never feel my baby kick inside me again. However many children you have though eventually you reach a point where you will never be pregnant again so I hits everyone in the end of that is any consolation.

BlueGenes · 12/08/2018 16:55

It's normal to miss being pregnant I think. I really missed it afterwards for a few months. I think it's the hormones? Totally happy now though a few years on, I look back fondly but that's it.

Take lots of pics and videos. If you think you have enough, take more.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 12/08/2018 16:57

The last few weeks are so uncomfortable it helps to quell that feeling!

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 17:01

Does the feeling fade? I am aware I sound a bit silly. Maybe it would be different if I knew I could have or at least try for another...

OP posts:
Lookingforadvice123 · 12/08/2018 17:03

Oh my god, yes YABU, I loathe pregnancy. I was an anxious mess first time round with DS so I didn't enjoy it at all. Currently 12w with number 2 and luckily I'm not anxious but I've had horrendous sickness, nausea, aversions etc. I hate being only able to eat crap as I can't stand my usual foods. Hate not being able to exercise (yet, will be doing when I feel better). I hate not being able to have a drink, even though I'm not a big drinker, one on a Saturday night will be nice!

I forgot how much I hate it. This is definitely my last baby and I'll be glad never to do it again.

MynameisJune · 12/08/2018 17:14

You’re in the pregnancy sweet spot, pregnant enough to be noticeable to others, feels kicks etc but not pregnant enough for everything to be a huge struggle, even putting your socks on!

The feeling will fade because you’ll have this tiny little human to care for and all their milestones. Plus birth, most people are happy once that’s over!

It looks like we can’t have anymore without IVF which I’m not sure we can do, I’m sad I won’t get to be pregnant again but that’s just life and at least I got to experience it once

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 17:34

I am so appreciative of this experience. I need help removing this thought from my head as it's driving me nuts.

OP posts:
FlotSHAMnJetson · 12/08/2018 17:37

Come back at 40 weeks, you'll feel different then.

Fang2468 · 12/08/2018 17:40

YANBU , I know exactly what you mean!
I said this (years ago) to my dh when I was about 32 weeks, I think I was crying about it too Blush. He looked at me like I was mad, and said something about me never shutting up about how fat & uncomfortable I was, how I hated having piles and back ache etc and how he thought I was desperate to have the baby to not be pregnant anymore! I honestly felt both these things at the same time, it’s like I wanted to keep the bump and the baby! It is a real emotional feeling !!

Fang2468 · 12/08/2018 17:42

I’m sure this feeling will disappear when your little one is here by the way!!

Original poster
Yannia · 12/08/2018 17:42

@Fang2468 please tell me you don't still feel the same way now?

OP posts:
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