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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to say birthdays' are crap once y ou're an adult?

30 replies

bandthenjust · 12/08/2018 15:11

Birthday today.
Never expected a party or a shit tonne of gifts, but would 've liked a lie-in past 7am and not to have had to clean up a puddle of piss that was left for me stand in.
Anyone else think birthdays are just non-existant once you pass 21?

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 12/08/2018 15:13

They are. I just ignore them

TheStoic · 12/08/2018 15:14

Birthdays are what you make them, in my experience.

Are you the only adult in your household?

Goandplay · 12/08/2018 15:14

They are. I’m not happy about it to be honest. I do my best to make my own birthday. I buy a cake, flowers and a nice bubble bath. It works a bit.

Original poster
bandthenjust · 12/08/2018 15:14

My plan for next year confusedbeetle

OP posts:
Original poster
bandthenjust · 12/08/2018 15:16

Sort of thestoic, I live with my husband, two kids.

OP posts:
ProfessorMoody · 12/08/2018 15:16

Nope, my birthday weeks are brilliant.

EdWinchester · 12/08/2018 15:21

Birthdays are a big celebration in my house.

A special day, to go a bit ott.

I don't get the MN thing of it's just another day once you're an adult. We have a celebration, every year. And yes, it involves excess - presents, fuss, friends, family. Dh and I have never worked on our or each others birthdays. We make a huge and lovely fuss.

mondaycando1 · 12/08/2018 15:22

Totally agree - although I always enjoy the escape I get one night around about my birthday to get drunk with girlfriends!

TheStoic · 12/08/2018 15:22

Is there a good reason why you had to be up by 7 and cleaning up piss?

If not, this is not a ‘birthday’ problem.

387I2 · 12/08/2018 15:23

You have to spread the word about your upcoming birthday a few weeks in advance, and mention how you like it to be. Several times. Better luck next year.

PicklingGherkins · 12/08/2018 15:25

I find they're what you make of them. Consequently I love my birthday. Usually a day off with my husband, a trip out to somewhere I want to go to, a lovely dinner/takeaway and plenty of good wine. I can't wait already.

Theromanempire · 12/08/2018 15:25

Birthdays are great! We always make a fuss in our house - always presents, a cake and either a takeaway/meal out chosen by the birthday person. I also never work on my birthday!

When the DC were younger, we had a rule that the birthday adult did not have to change a nappy/wipe a child's bottom on their birthday Wink certainly wouldn't be cleaning up piss!

MereDintofPandiculation · 12/08/2018 15:26

I make sure I put in a definite order for the elements that are important to me. At the very least I need a cake with candles, at a proper birthday meal within two weeks of the actual date, and some attempt at a present.

Nothisispatrick · 12/08/2018 15:26

I love my birthday, although first baby is due two days before my birthday so I might end up having to share it for the rest of my life..

I’ve certainly never had to clean up piss on my birthday.

happypoobum · 12/08/2018 15:36

Who generated the piss?

Why did you have to get up at 7 and clear it up?

My birthdays are utterly fabulous and last at least a week. I am in my fifties Grin

SamanthaBrique · 12/08/2018 15:40

Its not the birthday that's crap, it's your not-so-DH.

LeftRightCentre · 12/08/2018 15:41

I don't care for birthdays now I'm adult, tbh, meh, just another day but your H sounds a bit of a prick.

SnuggyBuggy · 12/08/2018 15:43

I think the last birthday I actually enjoyed was my 11th. I really can't be bothered with them now as they are always crap.

PositiveVibez · 12/08/2018 15:48

Usually a day off with my husband, a trip out to somewhere I want to go to, a lovely dinner/takeaway and plenty of good wine

You are allowed to do all these things when it's not your birthday 😂

I only go all out on special birthdays. I was 40 last year and had a nice meal out and party at mine.

It was my 41st last week and I had a nice day with family visiting and lovely gifts, but I don't think I deserve to be spoiled or anything like that.

violeticecream · 12/08/2018 15:50

I don't like my birthday. I always feel depressed. I don't know why. I often cry. I put on a cheerful face in front of family but I am always glad when it's over

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 12/08/2018 15:57

Unless your a single parent then I'd say it's your DP who's crap, not birthdays. We don't go completely OTT for adult birthdays in this house but would both certainly make sure the other one got a lie in, followed by a nice breakfast, possibly a day out somewhere and then cook a nice meal/go out to dinner/fave takeaway in the evening.

Birdsgottafly · 12/08/2018 15:59

I've always planned mine, myself.

I agree that if you treat your DH's Birthday as special, as in, he wouldn't have to get up and clean up piss, then it's him you need to sort out.

I used to have two Birthdays, at least. One with the Family, one out with mates and sometimes something else as well. In my defense, my birthday often falls on Mother's Day and when my Mum and Nan were alive, I would want to spend it with them.

If it wasn't for my Grandchildren, I would be away for mine, on a City break.

JulianOfNorwich · 12/08/2018 16:08

I quite like my birthday , but as a widow with young children, it is what I make it. I always buy myself a couple of nice presents but don't let myself use them til the day.
Lunch out with friends, bit of shopping, department store makeover, couple of glasses of something.....Still got to pick the kids up from school ... takeaway for tea.
It's not always easy to stay upbeat on your own but I know I would feel resentful if I had a DP who didn't make any effort- that's a real downer.

SendintheArdwolves · 12/08/2018 16:08

Once you're an adult, having a good birthday is your own look out.

You can ignore it if you prefer, or you can go all out and treat yourself like a queen. Personally, I tend to the latter - I take the day off work, plan nice things with my friends, make an effort to see my family, buy myself some treats, throw a party and make a cake. I have a great time :)

What you can't do is expect the people around you to make your birthday nice for you - it's great if they do and can be a lovely bonus, but you can't be a martyr and sit around moping if your SO/family don't pull out all the stops. (Ditto making an effort for your partner if they don't reciprocate - don't pour a whole load of energy into their birthday and then be miffed if they don't do the same for you).

MamaBear2181 · 12/08/2018 16:10

I love my birthday, it’s coming up the week after next but celebrations kick off on Thursday. I’m seeing an old movie that’s playing as a one off special for the films 30th anniversary with my best friend. On the Saturday night I’m out for dinner and drinks with all my mates and my OH is getting up with the kids and the baby on Sunday (he’s working from 4am-2pm on my actual birthday so Sunday is kind of my relaxing day in lieu of it)

Monday the kids baby and I are on a day trip, and on my actual birthday we are seeing another favourite film in the cinema in the morning (best friend, kids and myself) going out for lunch,