Not sure if I can give an accurate picture in a single post
DH is a good man, very supportive in our previous relationship together (pre baby), though we were on a more equal footing then - both extremely independent of each other and enjoying the perks of a indulgent child free life when together
Now we have 9 mo old DS who is a joy but is causing massive sleep deprivation which isn't helping
In a nutshell, I feel that I give everything to DS and to new family life. I'm not being a martyr, I've chosen this, but I feel that I enjoy DS more than DH does. He loves him dearly, I know this, but he struggles with any kind of change and this is the biggest life change there is! He is also far less interested in things DS does. I enjoy watching him come along in every way, I enjoy the psychology of his developments. I enjoy planning his days, feeing him, watching him grow. DH, I feel, is more of a mildly reluctant baby sitter. That's a very harsh description and isn't true all of the time. But where, say, I would look forward to a family day out, he would pass DS off to a willing GP if they were around.
DH says he needs time to get used to the changes in our sleep deprived life, and that I'm creating an atmosphere he doesn't enjoy being in because of how short I am with him now. He feels like I'm constantly criticising, which I probably am. I feel like he doesn't want to be around us. Chicken and egg...?I feel like I'm giving all to family and I need him to be part of that, he's asking for me to give him some time and understanding. I have nothing left to give!! Is he being selfish? Am I being unreasonable?
I'm so upset at our interactions these days. What we had before our much longed for, much loved son was a very very carefree life. Now it's bickering and resentment (he goes out, I rarely do so atm but that's through tiredness and choice)
I find myself really not liking him some days which is shocking to me
This is a very complex situation. Honestly, if I asked DH to help me with something specific he would in an instant. As I saw before, he is a great man. I'm just struggling to have to understand his point of view when all I want to do is tell him to grow up. You can't make someone feel a certain way, no matter how much you want to, I know. He assures me he will slowly adjust to our new life but please tell me, has anyone else been in this situation? Is it really common for parenting to be so hard? I'm sure lack of sleep is the biggest contributor of all
Please be gently, I need support plead, no suggestions to LTB because he isn't one (and I won't)