To have expected a congratulations?

[lolarosa12]

This week I've told my manager and our HR dept about my pregnancy.

HR dept were lovely and could see how pleased I am and congratulated me - explained the policies and all that (although as I'd been trying for a while I'd already had a snoop through all this)

My manager however, literally said "right ok then, shall we talk about work now"

Don't get me wrong I'm not going to allow this to ruin my pregnancy, or even my weekend(!) but I did think it was a bit rubbish! Am I being sensitive or was she just being super professional?

It’s a bit weird. Who on earth doesn’t congratulate someone when they tell them they’re pregnant?

I can only guess she’s pissed off thinking a out your maternity leave. Congratulations op

Does seem a bit mean of her, surely a congratulations wouldn’t have hurt? anyway, congratulations to you, enjoy xxx

Is it possible she has suffered with infertility or multiple losses?

I had two late first trimester miscarriages last year and I probably would have said congratulations but I doubt I’d have been able to feign happiness. It’s a really horrible place to be.

Some people also really just don’t care about other people’s pregnancies which is fair enough I guess.

It depends how she is usually but a congratulations is polite at least. I certainly got one!

Some people also really just don’t care about other people’s pregnancies

This!

I'm one of those people. I hate having to fake an interest.

@Mousefunky. I’ve struggled with infertility, but I still managed to congratulate other people on their pregnancies.

Take heart op. I told a woman at the stables I keep my horse that I was pregnant (which I finally am after fertility treatment) Her response was to start telling me how she was planning to have her mare put in goal later in the year

You’re not being sensitive but she might be sensitive to pregnancies/new arrivals for a number of reasons. Don’t dwell on it. Enjoy your pregnancy

Congratulations OP. My line manager’s reaction was “thank God, I thought you were going to resign”. Some people just don’t get excited about other people’s pregnancies.

In foal even. Horses don’t make very good goalkeepers!

I agree with other posters, maybe she’s sentistive about others pregnancies.
Congratulations

My manager's response to each of my pregnancies was to ask did I have any suggestions as to who might cover for me. I didn't take it personally. He never discussed personal stuff with anyone so no different for that.

Yeh I got similar response. A vague oh right then, well we will have to sit and discuss how this will affect your work, it’s not ideal timing is it? Along with a few deep sighs.

That is after I’d joined the company as a newly wed which they knew at interview and had then purposefully waited to try for a baby until I’d established myself and done two years full time before i got pregnant.

God how I hate all the self absorbed 'I don't have to be nice to anyone if I don't feel like it ' attitudes. I presume they think it makes them 'cool' . It doesn't. It makes them joyless self absorbed arseholes. New life is a wonderful think, especially if planned and desired. Congratulations from me OP, a random on the Internet who is genuinely happy for you. It costs nothing to be nice.

Same experience here. I did at least get a congrats but immediately following it was “when are you finishing, when do you think you’ll be back?” 🙄

YABU. Some people just don't care about other people's pregnancies. That doesn't make them bad people . Your manager wasn't mean just prefers to focus on work.

Offer congratulations, then book in risk assessment is my routine.

Congratulations, OP .

WTF struggling with infertility or just not being interested in other people’s pregnancies means you don’t follow social niceties for just saying a simple congratulations?

My manager said "And are you happy about that?" in a totally incredulous tone of voice. That was the day she started to make my work life a living hell.

When I told my hod about my last pg he said "shit! You're joking! Shit! That's a real pain!" I think he came back a couple of hours later to say congratulations.

My directors response was 'no shit Sherlock' possibly because I'd been throwing up a lot.
Try to put it out of your mind - she was rude though.

When my now boss found out our old boss had just had a baby ( he knows her she used to work for him) his response was oh well done. 1st time i met him he said im mark who are you? And his usual response to anything is oh right. Some people are frustrating

When i told my manager i was pregnant, had a different one before maternity leave she asked if i was happy

Not everyone is happy about being pregnant so perhaps your manager was trying to be neutral and not give any 'opinion'?

I really struggled to come to terms with being pregnant and hated being congratulated.

Perhaps it is her/his idea of being 'professional' not to comment?

clutches at straws

132 million babies are born every year, 750,000 in the UK, it's a common event. Whilst it's wonderful news for you, and good luck, It's not that special. Your manager has to figure out how to cover your role adding to their workload, why should they congratulate you for adding to it?

Your manager has to figure out how to cover your role adding to their workload, why should they congratulate you for adding to it?

Yeah, and then worry about the person coming back pregnant again after a year's leave and taking off again. And people wonder why women of childbearing age are discriminated against in the work place.