To have expected a congratulations?

[lolarosa12]

This week I've told my manager and our HR dept about my pregnancy.

HR dept were lovely and could see how pleased I am and congratulated me - explained the policies and all that (although as I'd been trying for a while I'd already had a snoop through all this)

My manager however, literally said "right ok then, shall we talk about work now"

Don't get me wrong I'm not going to allow this to ruin my pregnancy, or even my weekend(!) but I did think it was a bit rubbish! Am I being sensitive or was she just being super professional?

Congratulations

I guess you don't know what is happening in her life. I would have struggled to congratulate anyone after my miscarriage.

My manager told me not to worry, that he wasn't sure about having children at first but it turned out alright in the end. DD was planned. Some people just don't think about what they're saying OP.

Jesus there are some joyless people on here!
Yes, babies are born quite often, but ffs it costs nothing to say congratulations - it’s just manners.
Do you guys also not say thanks when someone holds a door open because “it happens everyday and you don’t have to”?!

Your boss was mean and I’d say unprofessional in her capacity as your manager.

Surely just plain good manners to say 'Congratulations' before talking about work.

Congratulations Lola

Sorry I think YABU.
There could be a number of reasons.
Some people don't give a shit and They don't have to. There is no law that says. Everyone must do a merry dance at every pregnancy announcement.
Or She could be TTC or even receiving fertility treatments and You've caught her on a bad day. Have you gave that any thoughts.

A congrats would be good, esp if they knew you were trying. They were probably thinking about the headache of what it means to them in the future. See how it goes, they might be buying flowers and baby gifts for you later on

Yes, babies are born quite often, but ffs it costs nothing to say congratulations - it’s just manners.
Do you guys also not say thanks when someone holds a door open because “it happens everyday and you don’t have to”?!

It's not manners and entirely different from saying thank you. She sounds entirely professional, focusing on work, that's her job.

She’s just a work colleague and she acted in a professional way. You don’t know what she’s gone through with fertility. Surprise pregnancy announcements can be really hard.

My 2nd time the conversation was:

"I need to tell you something"

"You're not fucking pregnant are you?"

followed by, "Oh I mean congratulations and all that".

We get on very well so I thought it was hilarious and appreciated her honest response!

YABU I’m afraid.
If you were friends or close socially out of work, then I agree a “congratulations” may be in order.
But expecting this from professional colleagues is a bit rich IMO

Thank you all for your replies. I think after reading I agree I probably was being unreasonable. I think because I'm so excited by the news I wrongly expected everyone else to be, PP's are right that she has no reason to be happy or excited and actually probably was just being super professional.

I also (very ignorantly) hadn't thought about her personal circumstances and actually feel a bit bad now. Again, I think because I am so excited my heads been in the clouds a bit - although not really a valid excuse.

Thanks for all the congratulations though, much appreciated!😊 have a great weekend MN'ers xxx