To ask for help with breastfeeding

[GKite]

Okay I know I'm not BU but desperate for some advice. Had csection on 8th, trying to BF and feeling like a massive failure. I've had about an hours sleep and I'm getting more miserable.
Sometimes she latches fine but will be off under 10 minutes, sometimes she doesn't want to latch and the more she screams the more worked up I get. She's just had 4 minutes on my breast and now I feel like my nipple is on fire.
Is there anything I can do to ease this? I'm dreading leaving the hospital where I'll have no support

Sorry, forgot to add, if its milk allergy and you are bfeeding a milk free diet for you too is best

Breastfeeding is seriously difficult and it can take a lot of work for some, myself included.

My DD is 18 weeks and I’m only just getting the hang of it. She has been struggling to put on weight since she was 6 weeks, but I’ve done a ton of research and I think I’ve finally found out what was wrong and now my milk supply has increased a huge amount 😁 I’m feeling so proud of myself for not giving up!

Some things you can do:

• YouTube the “flipple” technique
• Invest in a nursing pillow
• get LO checked for tongue tie
• apply Lansinoh nipple cream religiously!
• try lots of different positions
• check for upper lip tie (this is what my DD has)

There isn’t enough research to prove the upper lip tie effects breastfeeding but basically it means that my DD can’t stay latched on for very long, I’ve been feeding her little and often for the last week and I’ve seen huge improvements. It’s really easy to check, just lift up the top lip (google search it so you know what it looks like).

I highly recommend to keep going as breastfeeding is such an amazing experience once you’ve got the hang of it, but ultimately don’t feel guilty or like you’ve failed if you do switch to formula, as long as your baby is happy and healthy, that’s all that matters 😊

Just read your latest post. My DS was ff to begin with (through a tube in his nose but that's another story). I did manage to bf and also expressed but also carried on with the formula as well because he needed extra. Please don't be hard on yourself. The important thing is that baby is fed.

There are three things I would do.

1. Look at the corner of your baby’s mouth. It should look like a wide V. If it doesn’t break the latch with your pinkie and then relatch. Keep relatching your baby until you get the V. This is the key to avoiding sore nipples.

2, it’s hard but do nothing except feed. Leave the housework etc and just sit and cuddle and feed your baby.

1. Have a water bottle by your side and sip water during feeding. Also eat oaty things like flap jacks and oaty cereal bars. This really helps with your supply.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You and your baby are learning to do this at the same time. X

Just to add that some pain at first is normal for some people. I found it absolutely excruciating for about 3 weeks, I literally had to take a deep breath, bite my lip and latch him on. The first 30 seconds or so we're a solid 8/10 on the pain scale. After 5 weeks it didn't hurt any more. DS is almost 8 months now and I have no plans to stop any time soon. It was worth the initial pain because it's just such a convenient way to feed.

I have no more advice to add as you’ve had a lot of good advice but I wanted to say that I had a c-section and had a lot of trouble establishing breastfeeding with my son.

It was very painful for about two weeks, he never latched properly and I gave him some formula for a couple of days. But in the end I was able to exclusively breastfeed until he was 6 months and am still feeding him at nearly 3 before bed. He never had formula again. He was also quite a chunky baby. So it can work if you persevere but nothing wrong with formula if it doesn’t.

Thank you all
I am home now as I just said I would ff and they let me leave, but have been expressing into a bottle. I don't think bf was ever going to work for me and I'll just have to accept that

Hey OP. Don't worry. Just take it a day at a time. It will work but itll take some work to get there. Once your established its the most amazing thing in the world.

I FF my baby for the first week. Even when milk came in she wasnt taking in much. Baby is now 17 weeks and exclusively BF since she was 1 week old.

Local BF workers can and will do a home visit. They were a life saver for my latch.

Make sure you get infant feeding to check for tongue tie. My midwife and gp missed DDs so it wasnt diagnosed till she was 9 weeks. Cut at 11 weeks and took a further 3 weeks for her to learn to suck as it was cut so late.

I NEVER gave up. Every single day i would vow to stop because my journey was so difficult. I am so glad i didnt.

You will do this OP. If you decide to give up, its brilliant that you even got this far.x

Hi OP

I'm sorry you haven't got the help you need. If you did want to try again, I know lots of people who have ff for a few days then gone on to successfully bf. My milk didn't come in for a few days after a difficult birth so I ff a few times first. But I had good help which it doesn't sound like you received - please don't feel guilty if you don't feel like trying again - it isn't your fault if you feel like you can't

A couple of things -
Positioning is key but you can't work this out you self and midwives aren't highly trained. You need a qualified lactation consultant or breastfeeding counsellor to show you. They showed me the flipple which helped - I believe there are youtube tutorials on how to latch using this

If it's really hurting no matter what position, baby isn't getting much milk and there is a clicking sound, that suggests there is a tongue tie. The NHS is rubbish at spotting and sorting these. I say this because after my first having it and knowing there is a genetic link, I asked midwives at hospital to double check. Two did and told me 100pc no tie. After continued feeding issues a breastfeeding group said they thought there was however can't officially diagnose and then finally a tongue tie practitioner diagnosed and cut it. Feeding had changed within a few days. I had to go private though - the NHS waiting list was a few weeks and I couldn't have coped with a few more weeks.

It was a lot of effort and money to sort this out (the nearest tongue tie practitioner near me with urgent appointments was an hour drive away) so especially after a section nobody would blame you for stopping

You have not failed - you have been failed - and it's not your fault

If you want to try again a few things I did

Would put my nipple on the nose, wait for the mouth to open and flip my nipple down. That usually got the best position. I would count to 10, if it still hurt I would put my little finger in her mouth to take her off and start again.

Regarding feeding times, everyone seemed shocked that mine would feed in about 10 minutes... I got worried about this, however she put on weight fine and is now a healthy 1 year old.

Let down can be very fast so baby gets all the milk they need quickly.

If you get engorgement you may have to change position slightly. I put cold Savoy cabbage leaves down my bra to help with relief and cold flannels. Expressed a little and that helped settle it down.

I also should have had shared in lanisoh not only for the best nipple cream ever (which is basically the same as Elizabeth Ardens 8 hour cream. Made from same stuff) but also their breast pads which1 found the most comfortable

Bf seems to be a fine art and not something that comes "naturally" so don't beat yourself up over it. As long as baby gets food it doesn't matter what source it comes from

Also be kind to yourself. You have a brand new baby, no sleep and needing to rest up from the c section. It does get easier so try to relax and enjoy your little bundle of joy

I had a really difficult time breastfeeding my first and she’s now 20 and I am still not sure if I did the right thing struggling on. I did breastfeed her until 7 months but wonder whether a more healthy attitude would have been to mix feed at least from the outset. I know many people have done this. Stress can impact as much on milk flow as a reduced stimulation to the hormone that stimulate milk production. 💐🌈

I wanted to give up so badly at your stage. We kept at it and are still feeding 2 years later.

It is so tough. We had tongue tie and I had sore nipples. The problem was his latch. I needed to pull out his bottom lip. This advice changed everything. It was from my second vist to bf clinic.

Phone LLL and talk to somebody.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with ff but if you want to bf you should have support.

I had that pain the first few days/week of breastfeeding and i ended up with bleeding nipples and crying the first few sucks... lansinoh is the best, if I knew she wasn't going to feed for a while I literally slathered it on and let it soak for a bit in the day time between feeds I made sure I had plenty on,,, a midwife also told me to rub some breastmilk all over the nipple and I think that really helped! Hope you feel better soon! Xxx

Congratulations on your new baby, I hope you're feeling a bit calmer at home!

I had a Caesarean and found it easiest to breastfeed lying down, I had so much more patience when I didn't have to deal with the pain of sitting up nor even holding the baby. It was also much easier to feed at home where it was quiet and almost impossible in hospital when medical staff kept coming in because the baby got distracted. I also had to squidge my nipple to get a good latch and strongly recommend lansinoh's lanolin after every feed. The initial days are so hard when you're exhausted and the baby shouts because the milk hasn't come in; try to trust the process and breastfeed during the night to build your supply. It's fine to give some formula alongside, but with mixed feeding you want to try to keep night feeds as breastfeeding until your milk supply is established. I have only one baby and found breastfeeding took way more time than I imagined in the initial weeks, but it's wonderful now. With 2 other kids, the time commitment to breastfeeding in the early days could be just too much for you, so mixed feeding is probably a good idea for you anyway (and let's be logical here, mixed feeding is going to give your baby the breastfeeding benefits anyway). The push on exclusive breastfeeding isn't helpful, force people to give you advice on mixed feeding schedules. My visiting midwives were useful (apart from one), and my health visitor was wonderful, so I hope you get more support at home.

Did your baby throw up again or was it just that one time? Ask on here about CMPA and about reflux if there's ongoing vomiting (formula or breastmilk).

In case your baby has a tongue tie, that would affect bottle feeding as well, so it would be useful to be checked and you could get help with the breastfeeding latch at the same time. Around here the osteopaths have drop-in sessions once per week that have lactation consultants at them, cost is £8 to drop in or you can ask for someone to come and visit you (I've no idea of the costs). The children's centres also have breastfeeding drop-in on different days. NCT and La Leche League have local meetings too. If it's just general support you want, department stores tend to have feeding rooms where you can find other breastfeeding mums pretty much constantly who can usually chat and support you. Where do you live and maybe some posters could recommend places for you to get local support with breastfeeding this week?

If you really want to, it's worth persevering with bf. It's very hard at the start and I was pressurised into giving formula in hospital, but things do generally click into place after the first couple of weeks and my baby didn't have any more formula after we left the hospital. Good luck with it. It may be easier when you're home and can relax.

I think I'm happier expressing, especially since my milk is in and it would be far too excruciating to put her on my breast.
I'm struggling with the pain of csection this time around so quite happy to express but can I do this forever? I know if baby goes to breast that will keep up the supply but how do you keep it up if expressing?
Shes only sick when on formula, so I would say three feeds she has been very sick but I would think that's normal? Isn't formula heavier than breast milk?
TT is definitely something to explore, if I ever see a midwife or HV ill ask about it.
Though when I asked in hospital they said it was normal but my first daughter clicked when on bottles and she had TT.
I don't have a la leche near me and my local bf nct group has just been shut down.
There is a bf group about 5 min away but that's not on until Wednesday

Hi OP, you can definitely continue to express, I pump fed ds2 for seven weeks before getting him onto breast, dd for six months, she never transitioned to breast tho. Dd gained weight slowly even though she was drinking way more than the daily recommended amount of breastmilk, we later found out when we re introduced formula that she was CMPA as she projectile vomited it. Health visitor reckoned that the allergy was why she didnt gain weight well with BM as I was eating dairy. There are great groups on facebook for exclusively pumping mums and kellymom is a good site for advice. However you choose to feed baby is up to you, at the end of the day getting the feed in and happy baby is what is important.

Can you get hold of your bf group, someone might be able to come out to see you tomorrow? Or at least offer some advice. I know around here they would hop in the car and come see you, they are brilliant. I hope you get some support op, it sounds like you really want to bf, just because the first few days have been hard and you've given formula, doesn't mean you can't still try to bf if you wanted to / felt like you were able. I'm so sorry you've had so little real life support. Take care of yourself, I've been there, c section and bf and other kids to look after. It's such hard work, try not to beat yourself up and take it a day at a time

Find the nct group on fb and send a nessage. I know our local support lady would come out. We have her mobile number for emergencies.
Please get some support. You and your baby deserve it.

NIPPLE SHIELDS
NIPPLE SHIELDS
NIPPLE SHIELDS
Helps with getting baby ‘on’ rather than expressing and helps a lot with pain too.
I had c section. Took over a week to establish feeding.
If you're expressing, feed from a cup rather than a bottle if u plan to exclusively breast feed.

Turns out my DD does have tongue tie!! Only just been picked up by the HV
I've got no milk coming through anymore so can't even restart bf, this is the second time the hospital have failed to spot TT as my first daughter had it and she wouldn't latch either. Gutted

If you want to breast feed it is possible to start again, although hard work. Read abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/restarting-breastfeeding-after-a-gap/ for a good explanation

@GKite sorry to hear that op. Exactly the same happened with my dd. No one picked it up. I feel your frustration x

You've had awful RL support op I'm so sorry. it is still possible to bf with the right support, did you get in touch with the bf group? Good luck whatever you decide to do though and be kind to yourself, what a tough time

Can the NCT help you with this?

You might be able to get it started again, honestly!

Please look into it.