To ask for help with breastfeeding

[GKite]

Okay I know I'm not BU but desperate for some advice. Had csection on 8th, trying to BF and feeling like a massive failure. I've had about an hours sleep and I'm getting more miserable.
Sometimes she latches fine but will be off under 10 minutes, sometimes she doesn't want to latch and the more she screams the more worked up I get. She's just had 4 minutes on my breast and now I feel like my nipple is on fire.
Is there anything I can do to ease this? I'm dreading leaving the hospital where I'll have no support

Have given in and giving formula 😭

Congratulations!

It's so tough to begin but if it still hurts after first 10-30 seconds or so I think the latch needs correcting.
I had similar with my first after a CS and the midwives said my latch was fine but the pain was terrible. Eventually I got a lactation consultant to see me feed and it made such a difference and the constant pain stopped (it still hurt initially for next couple of weeks but once my nipples toughened up it was fine)
Another practical tip - their mouths are so tiny so I found squeezing my areola to make it an easier shape for them to latch onto: www.breastfeedo.com/sandwich-hold-breastfeeding/

The nappy won't feel wet as they're so absorbent but there is normally a yellow pattern or line on the front which turns blue if there has been any wetness/wee

Congratulations on your lovely daughter & I can fully understand how utterly tiring breast feeding can be.
Mine are now teens!
Get yourself into a comfy position supporting your back & also pillows under DD to raise her up to your breast.
I recommend starting each feed from the breast that you last fed on as it's properly drained & then DD can receive proper hind milk as opposed to fore milk which quenches thirst.
Lazy nodding off is normal whilst feeding...a little light stroke of your finger on the lower cheek prompts them into action.
Best wishes

Congratulations on your baby girl, don't beat yourself up over it, there are many reasons why you both may be struggling, I m a mum to three dds all bf, & honestly in my experience breastfeeding is one of those things that somedays can be the most exhausting/ frustrating/ upsetting but other times can be the most beautiful/ neutral/ peaceful things with no inbetween,
Just a quick check with you does she make a clicking sound while suckling? Maybe a sign she is tongue tied & struggles to latch on.
The number one reason is not having a good latch, it's hard to put in to words but her nose should be in line with the nipple, so when she goes to latch she needs to raise her head a little to latch on her mouth should be covering the whole nipple these are the main two things I think, a midwife once told me on dd1 if they struggling to latch on you grab you breast like a burger bun & gently put the nipple on the end of her nose & circle it there encouraging her to raise her head & open her mouth wide, once nipple is in her mouth if you can see any of the nipple you can either slip her bottom lip gently with your finger down to help her get a better latch or put your finger to one side of her mouth & gently take her off & try to reattach it if hurts to much i suggest you reattach her too don't leave her continue the feed you need to be relaxed too stress interferes with bf s & baby can feel your stressed too, i think these are all the top reasons so just work on these few first, atm your milk hasn't come in properly yet so she will want short feeds with only little breaks inbetween but it does all get easier once you both master the attachment, is she falling asleep at the breast? Oh & don't worry about the bottle my sister did both bottle & breast, you got to go find what works for you both, has anyone at the hospital been to check on baby's latching yet?

Congratulations OP.
I have had 3 c sections.
You need to be in charge. You get the baby right on the nipple and they will latch. You have to do it fairly forcibly and once they latch properly the pain goes. Cuddle them while they are feeding.
However if it doesn't work get the formula out. Don't beat yourself up. It's about you and the baby's happiness and bonding.
Don't be ruled by anything or anyone else.

It can be so bloody awful in the early days OP. Hormones and exhaustion. Please be kind to yourself. A bit of formula is not the end of the world.

Google the flipple technique. ..

Get checked for posterior as well as anterior tongue tie. Regular midwives, health visitor and breastfeeding support workers often miss the posterior kind.

Get either snipped asap, even if it's just a mild one. It's a tiny snip. DS squeaked for a second and there was a tiny spot of blood on the tissue the lactation consultant had..

I thought I was going insane in the first weeks trying to establish breastfeeding and there was a fair bit of crying hysterically down the phone to LA leche league! (Thank you ladies)

I also gave formula just to get sleep.

Nipple shields are controversial but if you're on the real verge of giving up due to pain, try them. I've lots of friends who managed to phase them out later.

We had a horrendous start to breastfeeding and I'm here feeding Ds now at 14 months.

I have 'top heavy' boobs (so the fullest part of my breast is above the nipple). If you bend over, do your nipples point toward the ground or sky? If ground, you have top heavy ones too.

If so, BF really started being better for me when I learnt the flipple technique. Essentially I put my fingers on the boob under the nip and the thumb above and manually point my nipple upwards to the roof of babys mouth. At the same time I squeeze which shapes my boob for my baby's mouth.

I was taught this by a woman at a BF group who noticed me struggling and said that we had the same shape boobs. After that, baby latched on well.

I still had some pain while my nips toughened up but mama compresses were amazing and after 2 weeks, there was bo pain.

Good luck.

Remember to express when giving formula to ensure that your milk supply increases, as the more you feed, the more you produce. If you miss a feed, it's one less you will produce the following day and then new mums can find themselves relying more and more on formula as days go on when they want to BF longer term

Good luck

I had to express with DD at first due to pain and use formula top ups. Just put baby on the breast when you can, use lanolin and drink lots of water

Oh and things always feel worse at certain times of day. It was the afternoon for me.

Someone on Mumsnet advised me "never give up on a bad day" and it really helped me.

Check out your local nct branch’s website.. it should list details of their breastfeeding counsellor.. this is a free service!

Call the NCT breastfeeding helpline. It's free to call and staffed by experts. They will be able to help you.

Congratulations and good luck!

You sound like me 21 months ago.

One bottle of formula is not the end- I did the same at this point.

Just keep doing the nose to nipple thing, keep your nipples dry between feeds and put the lansinoh on after the feed and not before.

You can take paracetamol for the nipple pain.

You're doing so so well, if you feel like you want to, do keep taking your baby to the breast, the more you do it the more your milk will come in.
If you're still in the hospital, keep pressing that midwife button every time if you need to, it's what it's there for.
The first few days her mouth may seem so small, you're right she should be taking the whole nipple and as much of the breast into her mouth as possible, if she's 'clicking' that could be a tongue tie.
best of luck love!

This will probably be me in 3 weeks time. I've had 2 dcs already though and got through the first few tricky days - and you can too

The most important thing to remember is you have just had major surgery, you are tired, exhausted and in hospital where you won't be getting much sleep anyway. This contributes massively to breast feeding as you are just not yourself. Give yourself a break and lots of tlc - you most definitely are not a failure in any means.

If you don't think it's for you then that's absolutely fine.

If you want to give it another go then just take it slowly, don't stress. You will both get there eventually - the first few days are always hard.

I'm dreading it this time around as I've said to a couple of midwives i will be breast feeding again. Both responses were 'oh well you've done it twice already so you will be an expert'....erm no not at all, I'll still need help thank you very much.

Also if it really is tricky then defo get her checked for tongue tie. Dd had this and it went 3 weeks unnoticed.

Good luck and congratulations

Well I've just been told I can't go home until I get her latched on myself, just tried it and thought I had her on but she's clicking. Buzzed for help, a student came along but doesn't know what to do
Just gonna give formula so I can go home

I had a c section and wanted to breast feed. My baby just couldn't latch at all, and I was so exhausted miserable and stressed out. In the end I gave formula after a couple of days, and honestly I think I owe it my sanity.
I still tried to mix feed for 6 weeks, but my milk never came in properly so I quit. My baby had a 100% tongue tie, which meant she couldn't feed properly. She couldn't fully latch, and every time she tried to drink she was just pushing herself off and i was in agony. I would definitely ask about a tongue tie check as it's very common and easily fixed in most cases. My baby was 11 weeks old before they managed to fix the tongue tie which didn't help I don't think.

I felt very guilty about not breastfeeding, but it was the best option for me. When I was breastfeeding neither of us slept, i cried constantly because I was in pain and felt useless, baby cried constantly because she couldn't feed, it was just horrible. Since changing to formula I'm much happier and everyone always says how happy she is and she's doing brilliantly. Honestly I wish I could've breastfed, and if I have a 2nd child I will definitely try again but it just didn't work for me this time.

You do what's right for you and your baby and don't beat yourself up about it either way

My baby was born a month ago by C-section. He was big (4.5 kg) so they started him off on formula, and then because (despite help) he wasn’t sucking effectively enough to get enough milk, I pumped for him. (The hospital was great at encouraging pumping right away.) I think by day 3 my milk came in and he didn’t need extra formula. The hospital had a breastpump rental program, so I pumped for him at home for a few days and was planning to continue for as little long as necessary to get breastfeeding sorted.

I live abroad and here we have home-visiting midwives. She helped me with different positions (lying down, football hold) and we got him sucking more effectively. I think by day 7 he was fine on just breastfeeding (no expressed milk) and by day 10 was gaining weight nicely.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it isn’t the end of the world if he has a bit of formula now. Maybe ask in the hospital about pumping and pump rental, if that is something you might like to do. Then you can keep trying to get her feeding, but knowing that she is still getting enough food. It took the pressure off for me, and baby got there in his own time.

@Gkite it’s so baby/boob dependent, honestly I don’t think it’s half as “natural” as you’re sometimes told. DC1, breastfed easy as they come. DC2 a flipping nightmare and I got all the chat about “oh you’re second time mum, you must be a pro” - well I’m not, and the baby certainly isn’t!

I’m very angry on your behalf that you can’t get the hospital help you need. Absolutely nothing wrong with formula at all. But if you want to breastfeed they should help you. Please don’t be fobbed off by the student. Can anyone be with you to advocate on your behalf? Wishing you lots of luck with this

One or two bottles does not have to mean the end. If you do want to carry on breastfeeding, and only if you want to because there’s nothing wrong with choosing formula, google your local children’s centre, bosom buddies or NCT and ask for a visit from someone to help with breastfeeding. There are volunteers and specialists just waiting to help, I think most people find it hard going at first. I liked video tutorials like this one www.emmasdiary.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/how-to-breastfeed
Good luck and try not to be so hard on yourself you’re overtired

I'm so saddened to hear you are not receiving the help you and baby needed, but as I said you have to find what works best for you both, totally irrelevant but I remember after all mine were born on the ward & all the mother's & how each of us had different issues few received help your just sort of stuck there on the bed & left to it, hence why after dd2 & dd3 i couldn't wait for us to be discharged & asked straight after birth could we go home they even discharged us 11:30 at night with dd2 after a hour on the ward, if she's making a clicking sound she may be tongue tied, and may effect bottle feeding too, have a look for symptoms such as she hasn't stuck out her tounge yet, I hope bottle feeding is going a lot better for you both op

Lansinoh nipple cream is amazing and will be your best friend. Get some nice treats to nibble on while you are sitting feeding. Have patience and don’t expect to get a proper routine for a few weeks. It’s new to you both so you both need to get the hang of it together. Good luck and congratulations

Oh honey. Ask for a midwife or the infant feeding team. Sometimes going home is the best thing, less stressful and more rest. Loads of skin to skin is your friend, BF or not, as it soothes and calms you both. If you want to breastfeed then ask for help and don't accept "I don't know how to help" - then please go get someone who does. It is not appropriate to not offer help - be it positioning, hand expressing, or suggesting skin to skin. Please please don't leave without seeing someone with the skills and experience to help you.

My dd had some formula in the hospital in her very first days. I was too exhausted, in too much pain and she was screaming for milk. I went on to breastfeed exclusively for six months and kept it up until she was 16 months, when she self weaned. I was 6m pg again by that point. My ds is now 4 weeks old and I've felt a lot less guilty about giving him a few formula top ups when it's been beneficial to us.

I would really encourage you to start pumping if you haven't already. Both my babies have been more than happy to feed at the breast or from bottles with expressed milk (or indeed formula) and under any circumstances having a baby who will take a bottle sometimes is a good thing, as it means you can rest if you wish. The pumping will also help establish your supply if you do decide to keep at bf. Please don't give up unless you've decided you truly want to. There is so much help out there for anyone who wants and needs it.

Well I spoke to an infant feeding adviser person who took my phone number down and said somebody will be in touch.
I am desperate to go home where I will have support but currently stuck alone cause my partner can't get here.
I know formula isn't the end of the world, I ff my first two but I've built up an insane amount of pressure in my head that if I can't do this, I'll tell myself I'm a failure and that I've failed my baby which I know sounds ridiculously stupid but I know it'll happen and I'll sit there hating my partner for bottle feeding cause in my head it should be me doing it from my own body
I tried to cup feed formula earlier as they said I could be discharged home doing that, she took about 5ml and was very violently sick but that doesn't happen when bf so even more of a reason (in my head) that I NEED to do this!!!

OP, if baby has been sick like that following formula there is a possibility it is a milk allergy. You can get special formula. Also, its definitely still possible to continue breastfeeding and lots of good advice on this thread. To keep your supply you will need to pump, as often as baby would feed. Ask in the hospital for the loan of a double pump asap. Lanisoh is great tho you can use coconut oil too works really well, especially used before pumping. Wearing breast shells in between gives the nipple air and it will heal quicker too. You say baby is clicking on the breast, if its with bottle too then tongue tie could be a issue, you can ask for a revision to be arranged. Kellymom and Dr Spears give great advice. Good luck with it all 😀😀😀😀