Had to walk away from colleague...

[TravelEdit]

My colleague does my head in. She moans, and moans, and moans, about everything! Last straw was today, she was moaning that she had put on weight and blamed it on the weather, because she eats more when it's hot, then went on about how the weather slows down her metabolism, and that even if she 'only ate 500 calories a day' she would still get fat, then turned to me and started said she would look like me soon if this heatwave doesn't end pronto (I'm 6 months pregnant). I walked away. I wanted to tell her that the reason she has put on weight is because she eats a packet of biscuits before lunch every day and that I am in fact pregnant, not fat!

How do you cope with people who think they are so hard done by? Who have excuses for everything? I'm so bad at holding my tongue and I fear I may explode! (Pregnancy hormones not helping either!(

Why on earth can't you simply say "You are constantly moaning and whining and its really irritating me. Shut up and let me get on with my work in peace,"

I had a BF like this once - he was always so effing miserable and permanently wishing he had the same life as his brother or his mate - and moaning about his (perfectly OK) job. We dated for a while but it got to the point where I felt depressed just driving over to his house! It really wears you down. I felt like a weight had been lifted when I dumped him - there's nothing worse than miserable people!! Do as PPs have said and tell her that her negativity is making you ill!!!

I think I would say something blunt and to the point - constant moaning really gets to you after a while. Seriously, enjoy your maternity leave - you won't miss her. When you are at the returning back to work stage, have a chat with your Line Manager and just be honest and say it gets you down and can you move away/sit somewhere else or move jobs etc. Your company has a duty of care towards you and you are reporting a stressful situation. (Worth a try anyway).
Another tactic would be to go on and on at her about dieting and the different methods and which was she going to try and was she going to keep a diet plan and lots of long tales about different diets friends have been on until she starts to avoid you!
I have fond memories of a colleague who used to go on and on about needing to loose weight and seriously told us that if we caught her eating biscuits we should take them off her. Most of us took it with a pinch of salt, but one colleague took it seriously and the next day did remove them out of her hand and binned the entire packet! She was stunned as she never expected anyone to take her seriously.

I have a SIL who has moaned her whole life. In the end I stopped asking her how she was, as the answer was always "I think I'm coming down with something" "I m not at all well" or "I've been really poorly, felt dreadful" .
It was always just standard coughs/colds. Just whinged the whole time.
I feel really guilty because I find it hard to be sympathetic now that she - genuinely - has ME and fibromyalgia. A bit of me just thinks " great, well, you've been rehearsing for it your whole life"!

@Mummyoflittledragon I'm simply undecided re whether there's any point before I go on leave!

I used to work with someone who was constantly moaning and miserable about everything. Literally everything! You couldn't even say good morning to her without her bloody going into a tirade of moaning about something.

I used to work with headphones in eventually and avoid her where I could (but I am a teacher so avoiding her was pretty easy most of the day - probably not so easy in an office job).

Can't be doing with people who are constantly negative - it's draining!

I used to work with someone like this. It's so draining. I used to put my ear phones on to block.it out. Sometimes there was no sound playing, but I could pretend that I couldn't hear.

When she wasn't moaning she was really nice.

I counter any moans with a random complaint of my own, usually something ridiculous. Then you just end up having two separate conversations and they'll eventually give up their moaning as you are not giving them the required attention. I have a lot of moaners in my life - it's either this strategy, or just saying things like "Oh that must be so difficult for you!" and hoping they shut up soon

OP, my dad does this. His entire world is a pity party that revolves around him. It makes me seethe. These days, I just say: 'Excuse me,' brightly and walk away without an excuse or explanation. If you work near each other, just say, 'Excuse me, better get back to work.' Wear ear phones if you can. Need the loo a lot due to pregnancy. Check your phone, looks preoccupied and I say "I just have to..' anything that breaks the moan monologue and allows you to escape.

I have a colleague like this, everytime she moaned at me I came up with really over the top cheerful positivity and shitty inspirational quotes. She will now look for other people to moan at rather than talk to me

People like this find a problem for every solution. They're draining.

I had a collegue like this always on aboutber weight. So one day I said "well do something about it-heard good things about slimming world"

She never did it again....so just agree with her. Worse happens she thinks you are abitch and avoids you. Win win.

Traveledit is she Essex based? She sounds exactly the same as someone I used to work with..

Work colleagues are the pits
I have one who is lazy , defensive , passive aggressive and Un compliant

I want to kill him
Or call him a cunt to his face

I just ignore him or send terse emails

CUNT

Could you say to her in very bland tones (and in front of witnesses to avoid any accusations of bullying) “do you ever have anything positive to say?”. Takes the wind out of their sales I find. Agree with everyone else - horribly draining and self-absorbed.

@zzzzz desperate for everyone to like me??? 🤣

I used to work with a few moaners. My response was that unless you are going to do something to change it stop moaning about it. If you can't change it then there is no point moaning.
Same goes for you OP

I thought when it's hot people tend to eat less? And when it's cold (like during winter time) people tend to eat more and gain weight more easily? Something to do with saving fat for winter hardships. Survival mechanisms and all that

We had an engineer like this once. After another moan-fest I told him that he was a very negative person... I cant remember the workding exactly. He was taken aback but next time he saw me he thanked me! He said he hadnt realised and it had made him think.

I had a male one of those many years ago. A colleague labelled him 'Plus Five'. Others shortened this to 'Five' without knowing the background and it became his nickname.

BS 4142 para 9.2

For sound ranging from not tonal to prominently tonal the Joint Nordic Method gives a correction of between 0 dB and +6 dB for tonality. Subjectively, this can be converted to a penalty of 2 dB for a tone which is just perceptible at the noise receptor, 4 dB where it is clearly perceptible, and 6 dB where it is highly perceptible.

Plus 5 dB for a continuous whine

STEM type blokes retain Sixth Form level humour, but it helped to have a private joke at his expense. Petty I know but whatever helps you get through the day.

@onanothertrain lovely advice but complete rubbish as we all moan occasionally! I don't know one person who doesn't. I actually think it's fine to vent out your frustrations occasionally without actually confronting what caused them, as long as it isn't 24/7, I see no issue. I moaned very briefly about my train being 2 hours late the other day but wasn't much I could do about it. I didn't smile sweetly and say 'oh well' however as I missed my connection and was late for a very important meeting!

This is (one of the few times) where being on the spectrum helps. I would just say “(colleague name), you complain an awful lot”

Then nothing.

My apologies travel I thought you asked how we deal with people who moaned. I didn't realise you just wanted to moan about people moaning.