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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be steaming mad at my DD's boyfriend?

43 replies

LifeImplosionImminent · 09/08/2018 19:48

DD's boyfriend is a lovely boy but he drives me potty sometimes. He was cooking her a meal (sweet you think) but he cuts the food in the pan and scratches my most expensive non stick pan. He showed zero remorse. Not even an ooops. He's already ruined 2 heavy duty baking tins cutting up rocky road cakes. He doesn't have the money to replace them, he's just 17. Then, at his own home today, DD is cooking for him and he has the brass balls to say to DD "Be careful don't scratch my mum's pan!" Angry Angry Angry

AIBU being so annoyed when he was trying to be sweet? I just want to shake him for being a thoughtless, clumsy twat ahhhhhhhhh I think my menopause is coming...

OP posts:
AgathaMystery · 09/08/2018 19:49

YANBU.

MrsExpo · 09/08/2018 19:51

Could you not gently remind him that cookware is both fragile and expensive and educate him a little in the currect use of chopping boards?

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/08/2018 19:52

Once, unintentional damage I could overlook.

3 times in total without so much as an apology? Nope. I’d be furious and telling him to keep well out of my kitchen.

The irony is that little gem of a comment to your DD (who I hope responded with a comment about the damage HE’S caused) shows he knows to be careful, he just doesn’t give enough of a shit to be careful with YOUR things.

Mousefunky · 09/08/2018 19:59

YANBU. Personally, I would banish him from the kitchen.

PattiStanger · 09/08/2018 20:00

You need to hide all the good stuff, I have pans and bakeware I don't even let my own children use. YANBU at all

MsHomeSlice · 09/08/2018 20:11

i'd clip him round the head with my scratched pans...wee nyaff!

his own mother obviously bollocks him he just doesn't give a shiny shite about you!

Nice nonstick pan wrapped up for is christmas and as he holds it aloft in a wtf manner you can swipe it off him and say, "well that'll replace the first one you damaged..."

McNutty · 09/08/2018 20:14

The saddest bit here is what YeTalkShite said. He has no regard for YOU! As sweet as he may seems, he has shown his true character with his last response to DD. Can only wonder how this will translate further into his relationship between DD and his DM. There’s a lot more where that came from.

RavenLG · 09/08/2018 20:16

Like others have said he shows no respect for you or your possessions. I’d say he is welcome in the home but no longer allowed to cook in your house as he had damaged things 3 times. He’s had warnings he should take heed.

Notcontent · 09/08/2018 20:16

McNutty makes a very good point.

HollowTalk · 09/08/2018 20:19

Gently remind him...

What?! Why gently? He deserves it with both barrels!

Cismyass · 09/08/2018 20:21

What Yetalkshite and Munutty said. There is nothing to add to that.

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/08/2018 20:23

McNutty I never thought of the DD/his DM dynamic but I fear you’re right!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/08/2018 20:23

Why can’t they cook for each other in their own homes?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/08/2018 20:25

Did your dd reply to him?

Charolais · 09/08/2018 20:25

I'd clip him round the head with my scratched pans...wee nyaff!

Nice nonstick pan wrapped up for is christmas and as he holds it aloft in a wtf manner you can swipe it off him and say, "well that'll replace the first one you damaged...”

This is what I would do.

Fuckedoffat48b · 09/08/2018 20:26

Why are they cooking for the other one at the other one's house?

Fuckedoffat48b · 09/08/2018 20:27

Cross post with DrinkFeckArse, this is a slightly odd arrangement.

Original poster
LifeImplosionImminent · 09/08/2018 20:31

Thanks everyone - my thoughts exactly. I have banned all pans except the ones he's already wrecked. Any other damage and I'm banning his arse from the house!!! I can't afford to replace them because I got them all in sales Angry

OP posts:
EdisonLightBulb · 09/08/2018 20:31

Why are you letting him cook in your house. I wouldn't and I'd tell him why.

Original poster
LifeImplosionImminent · 09/08/2018 20:35

@DrinkFeckArseGirls She said "excuse me, do you want to repeat that?????" At least she saw the irony - which is why she told me.

@Fuckedoffat48b I have no idea why they do that - maybe they think it's romantic

@McNutty I can't see them lasting that long, they are both fairly self centered - but his parents are both very down to earth and fair people, I suspect if they knew they'd be at my door trying to pay for the damage

OP posts:
McNutty · 09/08/2018 20:39

OP if he had wrecked your pans including his DM’s, I’d ave just shrugged and said, ‘that teens for you’, just keep reminding him. But he has shown what he’s made of.

You need to show your DD what she should and shouldn’t tolerate and raise her awareness of red flags. She has told you what he said (your DM means nothing but MY is very important and you should not upset her!) she is waiting to see how you will handle this. Respond8ng with, I will ban all pans except the ones he’s wrecked doesn’t quite cut it).

Original poster
LifeImplosionImminent · 09/08/2018 20:48

@McNutty Well he's gonna have to eat rusty rocky road - that will make me feel better. Seriously though - you have a point I just want to pick my battles, it's still early summer I'm sure he'll do more dickish things by September...

I did yell at him after my most prized pan got sliced but as you say, he wasn't at all worried that I was upset...he did check whether DD liked her pasta though Hmm

OP posts:
XingMing · 09/08/2018 20:49

I'd be pointing it out to him, loud and personal. People who cook properly respect the equipment they use. He has f*cked your equipment, therefore he is no longer welcome to use your kitchen unless he follows the same rules and standards set by his own DM. Shirty? You bet!

Fuckedoffat48b · 09/08/2018 20:50

Is he actually allowed to cook with his mum's pans? If not that ay explain the odd arrangement and why he is nervous of your DD marking them. It sounds as if he has already wrecked her pans and been banned from using them! Doesn't make coming round and trashing yours ok though.

XingMing · 09/08/2018 20:54

I have explained the error of his ways to DS at high decibels and frequently. Now he's doing a chef's course, he's suddenly got it!